


Iwaizumi Hajime During Bad Times and Good

by HomeForImaginaryFriends



Series: The Agency - Modern Magic AU [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Death, Depression, For the third time there will be angst and a lot of depressive thoughts for the first two chapters, Gore, M/M, Magic, Polyamory, it gets happier after that but it's slow going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-09-28 07:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 52,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10080104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomeForImaginaryFriends/pseuds/HomeForImaginaryFriends
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime has been knocked down plenty in his life but he's always managed to pick himself up.  He's finding it more and more difficult to do so as the days go on.  Can Matsukawa Issei and Hanamaki Takahiro help or will he push them away?(In other news, I get worse and worse at summaries the more stories I write!)





	1. The Bad

_ Hajime is 14 and sitting at his desk, hunched over countless papers and books as he writes out an equation before checking it with the answer key.  It’s wrong and he grumbles to himself, low and aggravating and full of curse words he had heard some older kids saying.  The swears make him feel a bit better but no less stupid because he’s gone over the work three times now and can’t seem to get even close to the correct answer. _

 

_ Hajime was failing and it wasn’t something he was use to doing.  He didn’t have any proper way to go about handling it besides hunching over even more, his nose nearly touching the book and almost going cross eyed as he wrote out the equation again.  Slowly and carefully, as if that would somehow make maths any easier for him. _

 

_ School didn’t come easy to Hajime but it was never difficult either.  He knew that as long as he turned his work in on time and studied for tests than he would do well.  He was just above the average line so he had never tried overtly hard in school before.  There always just seemed better things to do with his time than spend his free moments ruining his eye sight alone in his room. _

 

_ Oikawa Tooru, Hajime’s best friend since they were little, learned the best high school to go to if they wanted an easy acceptance into the Academy, which would fast track them to becoming full time members of a real Agency team.  It wasn’t a requirement to go to the Academy before joining the Agency in Tokyo, but everyone knew that if you wanted strong magical training you went to the Academy.  If Hajime didn’t go to the Academy then he’d have to wait until he was 21 until he could officially apply to the Agency. _

 

_ The Agency handled magical problems throughout all of Japan, they were like the police but so much better in Hajime and Tooru’s eyes.  People usually presented with powers about the same time they hit puberty, and both Hajime and Tooru had felt the magic buzzing underneath their skin for the past two years. _

 

_ The Academy liked those who did a physical activity throughout school and Tooru figured out that volleyball was the best choice.  It trained their endurance while giving them a boost in strength and speed but also it was a sport that required quick thinking and problem solving skills.  Hajime was a natural athlete so volleyball was really no problem for him, receiving was still difficult but he was strong and fast.  Tooru had a more difficult time, but he often over thought things. _

 

_ Tooru would get into their top choice no problem.  Even though he had a tough time with volleyball at first he had won an award for Best Setter in their last tournament, even though their team had lost.  But mostly Tooru could pass the entrance exam with little to no problem. _

 

_ “Hajime?”  Hajime sat back as his parents entered his room, glad for the small distraction.  He had already yelled at Tooru to leave him alone and for once his friend was actually listening to him. _

 

_ “Do you want me to help with dinner?”  Hajime asked, ready to stretch his legs but his parents shook their heads and took a seat across from him on his bed.  Hajime felt unnerved though he wasn’t sure why. _

 

_ “We wanted to talk to you about school.”  His mother stared at him with the same eyes he saw whenever he looked in a mirror, though that’s the only thing he had in common with his mother look wise.  His dark skin coloring, dark hair, and even the stocky build that he was still growing into at 14 was all his father's doing.  Hajime just hoped he would get his mother's height, volleyball players were mostly all tall and Tooru was starting to catch up to him in height. _

 

_ “I did better on my last practice test.”  Hajime beamed, though it wasn’t good enough.  It was the best he had ever scored, the hardest he had ever tried but it wouldn’t get him accepted into the high school he needed to go too. _

 

_ “I know and we’re so proud.”  His father had a gruff voice, that kind that made everything he said sound a bit rough.  He knew a lot of people though his dad was mean, but really he was a big pushover.  It was his mom people really had to look out for. _

 

_ “Of course we are, so proud, we know you’re trying.”  His mother continued and his father nodded in agreeance.  Hajime shifted awkwardly in his chair, not sure where this was going but he felt immensely uncomfortable and he wasn’t sure why.  “It’s just- we’re worried Hajime, if you do get accepted into this school you know that you’ll have to continue this strict studying, right?”  Hajime hadn’t thought that far into the future.  He knew the big picture, the main goal was to get into the Agency but he hadn’t thought about highschool life. _

 

_ “And you want to be on the volleyball team, right?”  His father asked and Hajime nodded, slowly.  Of course he wanted to be on the volleyball team.  “Your mother and I looked into the school and the team is- a lot of boys will be applying.”  His father looked over at his wife. _

 

_ “It’ll require a lot of work and effort to be on the team, and how are you suppose to give your all to the team while maintaining this level of concentration on your studies?”  His mother asked and Hajime opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. _

 

_ Hajime hadn’t thought of any of that really, he kind of believed it’d all work itself out if he actually got into the school.  He knew his parents were right and something hard and heavy seemed to settle against him, weighing him down.  He was smart, he knew he wasn’t stupid and did well in school but this school, this prestigious school that spat out students ready for the Academy it was full of people who were more than just a little above average.  He couldn’t even get a high enough score for the entrance exam, how did he expect to pass classes if he finally got in?  He also knew he was a good volleyball player.  Soccer or baseball or kendo would have suited him better but Tooru had said volleyball was their best option.  He was good but was he good enough to be on a nationally ranked school team? _

 

_ “Hajime, we don’t want you to think we don’t support you, we do and we always will but maybe-” His father shifted awkwardly on his bed, his leg bouncing into his wives. _

 

_ “We don’t want to see you struggle for the next three years either.”  His mother finished before pulling out a couple brochures and handing them to Hajime.  “These are all very good schools and they all have good volleyball teams too. Please just give these a look.” _

 

_ The Iwaizumi adults walked out of the room as their son stared down at the brochures in his hands.  He felt suddenly ashamed of himself.  He knew his parents hadn’t meant to be cruel in any way, they really just wanted the best for their son.  But it was hard for Hajime to realize his parents didn’t believe he could be the best, that he was good but never great. _

  
  
  
  


\---------------

  
  
  
  


“Koushi!”  The yelled name snapped Hajime to the present, though he wasn’t sure if he had actually passed out or not.  He was on the rough ground and he  _ hurt _ .  He hurt so badly and all over it took him a long moment to realize that the pain was radiating from his arm.  His mind felt sluggish and it took him a long time to remember where he was, let alone why he was on the ground and why he was in so much pain.

 

A warehouse in a long-abandoned part of Tokyo.  The Agency has sent his team and four others to assess and deal with ancient creatures that had killed countless people spanning several centuries.  They were highly dangerous and mostly unknown, which was why so many teams were sent in to deal with them.

 

A creature had swooped down from the ceiling, aiming for Tooru who had been too busy protecting Takahiro and Issei to watch his own damn back.  Hajime had moved quickly, it had only been two steps to stand behind Tooru and hand deflected the majority of the hit but he hadn’t seen the tail.  It had sliced up his arm and Hajime had gone down, hard.

 

Hajime had broken bones and split open skin, he had just about every injury a person could survive from.  He was a close-range fighter and his magical abilities mostly extended to help that.  It meant he was mostly always on the front line and always the first to get hit.  He had been injured enough to know his pain tolerance, until that moment.

 

It took Hajime too long to realize that Takahiro was bent over him, forehead pressed against his own and Issei was on his side, hand clutching Hajime’s limp one.  Someone was speaking and Hajime forced himself to push past the confusion and pain and to listen.

 

Someone touched his right arm and Hajime almost blacked out from the pain of it.  He gritted his teeth and pushed back the spots in his vision to look down, shifting his eyes and not moving his body to see a head of ash-blonde hair bent over his arm.  The name came slow, lethargically to his pain-addled brain.  Sugawara Koushi.  If the med-mage was near him then it had to be bad, but it also meant he was safe.

 

Hajime felt something soft press against his forehead, again and again and realized belatedly that Takahiro was kissing him, over and over.  It settled something inside of him and he clenched his hand around Issei’s, trying to let them both know he was okay and it was going to be fine.

 

“Daichi, your sword, can it heat up again?”  Koushi’s voice broke the silence and Issei gripped Hajime’s hand tighter while Takahiro stopped moving above him.  Hajime searched for Daichi, finding the man standing behind Koushi with a dark look and blood dripping down the left side of his face.

 

“You can’t cut- you can’t do that!”  Tooru shouted and Hajime nearly jumped in surprise, he hadn’t even realized Tooru was down by his feet until Tooru wrapped his hands around Hajime’s ankles.

 

“Do you know what this is?”  Hajime had never heard that tone of voice from the usually unflappable med-mage.  “ To stop the spread of the infection I would need the bladder of a frog that exists only in the deepest parts of the Amazon rain forest. I don’t have that, Watari doesn’t either. Kiyoko might but it’s more than likely that it’s back in Miyagi and Hajime doesn’t have that kind of time. If the infection gets into his bloodstream it will kill him, very slowly and very painfully from the inside out.”  Everyone was silent, Hajime wanted to scream.  It was his dominant arm and he was a close range-

 

No.  It didn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter.  It was his arm or his life and since no one was willing to make that choice he had to do it himself.

 

“Do it.”  Hajime’s voice sounded harsh even to his own ears, it hurt to speak but he continued anyways.  “Cut the fucking thing off.”  He grit out.

 

“Hold him down.”  Koushi ordered without hesitation.  Takahiro carefully moved his legs from beneath Hajime’s head and pressed his trembling hands down on Hajime’s shoulders while Issei laid across his chest.  No movement came by his legs.

 

“Fucking grab my legs Tooru!”  Hajime kicked but it was no where near his full strength, more of a spastic twitch than anything but it had its intended effect.  Tooru put pressure against his legs.

 

“Cut it right here Daichi.”  Koushi’s voice was hard as steel, Hajime stared up into the fabric of Takahiro’s black shirt.  “Okay Hajime, I’m going to break the bone so the sword doesn’t get stuck.  Deep breath in, and out-” Hajime’s body jerked as his bone snapped, he wasn’t sure he bit off the scream that burned his throat or not.

 

Hajime felt the superheated sword against his arm and he tried to twist away from the pain even though he knew what was happening, knew that needed to happen but every instinct was screaming to get away from the pain and the person taking away his arm.  There was no biting back the scream now so he pressed his face against Takahiro’s chest and let it out.

 

Something wet landed on his face and Hajime was surprised he had enough awareness left to realize Takahiro was curled around Hajime’s head, sobbing.  Hajime wasn’t sure what he said, hoped it was comforting to the other man, wished his consciousness wasn’t slowly slipping away.  He wanted to reach up and hold Takahiro but he couldn’t move, his body felt so heavy and he was in so much pain but Takahiro was crying.

 

Takahiro cried a lot but never in public.  It was almost an inside joke between the oldest members of their Agency team, Aoba Johsai.  Hajime had never seen someone look as beautiful crying as Takahiro, Tooru and Hajime were both ugly-ass criers but Takahiro managed to do it with grace.  There was no grace or beauty here, only pain and Hajime wanted to ease that.

 

“I can get one of those clay limbs that are so popular in Europe, Makki.”  Hajime’s throat hurt though the pain was ebbing.  His foggy brain thought it was something Koushi must be doing, but he was fully concentrated on Takahiro now.

 

Issei said something from his side, reaching over to comfort Takahiro as Tooru grunted something from where he was still pressed against Hajime’s legs.

 

Hajime found the effort of holding open his eyes too much and closed them, leaving Takahiro in Issei and Tooru’s hands for now.

  
  
  
  


\-----------

  
  
  
  


_ Hajime does not like Matsukawa Issei or Hanamaki Takahiro, which is a damn shame because Tooru has latched onto them like he’s expecting them all to be the greatest friends.  It’s never going to happen in Hajime’s mind and he’s thoroughly glad that he only has to do with the two other boys during volleyball practice. _

 

_ Tooru gets into Class 6 immediately and Hajime doesn’t see that changing for the next three years.  With Hajime’s poor, but still passing, entrance exam he manages to squeeze by in Class 1.  It’s a hard, bitter disappointment to face because Hajime feels like he’s drowning and he’s nowhere near Tooru’s course load.  The struggles his parents had worried about him facing are hitting him full force and the year had barely begun. _

 

_ Hajime feels like he hasn’t slept properly in months and he spends every moment he can studying and working on his school work.  He knows it’s sheer stubbornness and pride getting in the way of asking for a tutor.  He can’t let anyone know that he is struggling, especially not only three months into his first year of high school. _

 

_ The training schedules of a middle school volleyball team and a high school one are astronomical.  The only reason Hajime hasn’t dropped yet is because he is a natural athlete.  No matter his natural abilities they don’t help him with receiving or serving, which seem far worse when compared to everyone else on the team.  Every practice Hajime walks away from makes him feel a little bit more defeated because he doesn’t seem to be improving while everyone else leaves him behind. _

 

_ The coaches are already talking about making Tooru their starting setter and he’s done a couple practices with the starting team, blending in flawlessly with them.  Hajime can see the fear in the third year setters eyes and while Hajime is proud of his best friend, he also feels for that third year who worked so hard only to have a first year replace him. _

 

_ Tooru is also pulling ahead of Hajime in height.  Hajime can’t help but think that if they were playing baseball or soccer like Hajime had wanted to in middle school, height wouldn’t matter.  It’s not as if Hajime is even short, but Tooru’s new friends Issei and Takahiro even loom over Hajime, though they are more beanpoles than anything. _

 

_ There are a lot of reasons to dislike Issei and Takahiro.  They don’t take anything serious yet they manage to slide by on their parents names and very little effort.  The Matsukawa’s are an extremely old family with deep roots in the community and even deeper pockets.  The teachers treat Issei like he’s a god amongst mortals and people flock to be around him and it’s just so obvious to Hajime that he does not care at all.  He doesn’t care about his grades or volleyball or anything and it pisses Hajime off to no end. _

 

_ Takahiro comes from new money but both sides of his family tree are wide stretching on the globe.  He was born in California and moved to Japan when he was 14, he’s a duel citizen and for some reason people find that fascinating.  Hajime recognizes that Takahiro is also a natural athlete, but he seems to be doing so much better at volleyball than Hajime with no effort put forth.  He looks like a strong wind could blow him over but Hajime is well aware that in a few years when Takahiro’s grown into that tall body of his he will be a fierce competitor.  That doesn’t look good for Hajime since they both are wing spikers. _

 

_ Hajime is drowning and he can’t talk to anyone about it.  He doesn’t want to prove his parents right and despite the carefree smiles he knows Tooru is overworking himself too, he can’t expect his friend to take on Hajime’s workload also.  So Hajime makes excuse after excuse as to why he can’t hang out or study with Tooru, which just means he spends that time with Issei and Takahiro. _

 

_ The bell for lunch rings out and people are rushing out to get food or meet up with friends.  Tooru always comes to Hajime’s class for lunch so the dark haired boy starts pulling out his lunch, glancing at the clock as the minutes roll by.  He can feel annoyance bubble up and he lets it go with a long, drawn-out sigh. _

 

_ Tooru had been popular in middle school but it had been mostly hushed whispers and giggling from a distance, most middle school kids too shy and awkward to actually approach Tooru.  Almost the second they entered high school that changed.  The older girls and boys took immediate notice of Tooru, pretty and smart and athletic Oikawa Tooru, and started to swarm him.  Once the younger ones noticed that Tooru was completely approachable it was hard to catch a free moment with Tooru alone. _

 

_ Mostly Hajime ignored it.  Tooru had already accepted two confessions and they had broken up with him within two weeks.  Yes Tooru was all the things he seemed to be, pretty and smart and athletic but he was also stubborn and single-minded and really, not all that romantic past first meetings.  The break-ups were hard on Tooru and harder on everyone else around Tooru, but by the next week he’d have a flurry of cards and sweets and confessions, enough to make him temporarily forget that having a relationship was a bad idea in the first place. _

 

_ Hajime was hungry and his day was shit so far so as time wore on, Hajime got more and more angry.  He couldn’t start eating because if he did and when Tooru finally managed to show up he would pout and whine about Hajime not waiting for him. _

 

_ Hajime stood up and stomped out of his classroom, glower fully in place to scare away any potential suitors so Tooru and he could finally sit down and eat.  They were growing boys and volleyball practice took a lot out of them, they needed to eat proper meals.  Tooru knew this but he was too damn nice, and he enjoyed the attention a little too much, to shake off his admirers so it was up to Hajime to do it for him. _

 

_ Tooru was no where in the halls and peeking into Class 6 Hajime instantly knew why Tooru hadn’t come to Class 1 to eat with him.  Issei and Takahiro were sitting around Tooru’s desk, which was covered with food.  Tooru was laughing at something as he unwrapped a milk bread. _

 

_ Hajime ducked away from the classroom before he could be noticed and walked quickly down the hall.  He spent the remainder of lunch in a bathroom stall located in the boys bathroom that was hardly used because it was at the furthest end of the hall and was notorious for overflowing toilets. _

 

_ Hajime knew he was being ridiculous, which made him feel even worse but he promised himself that he would get over this feeling tomorrow, he just needed a day to properly wallow in self misery and tomorrow he would be better.  He knew it was stupid to feel like he was being abandoned, knew he was just feeling moody because the past couple months had been so rough on him but all the logic in the world wasn’t getting him out of that stall. _

 

_ Tooru had been Hajime’s best friend since they were 7 year olds and Hajime was the one who had been there when Tooru nearly hurt himself the previous year after hours upon hours of uninterrupted volleyball practice.  Hajime knew all of Tooru’s fears and hopes and dreams.  Hajime knew Tooru’s fake laugh from his real one, knew when he was hiding behind that big, cheesy grin.  Hajime was the only person that ever was allowed to see Tooru when he wasn’t his best, when he was lounging around after not showering for two days, glasses perched on his nose and forehead greasy. _

 

_ Hajime knew that the bond he had with Tooru wouldn’t easily break, that both of them would hogtie the other if it came to it.  The groups of admirers had never threatened Hajime, and Tooru had other friends before but Issei and Takahiro were obviously different.  Hajime could see the instant connection they had with Tooru, that they didn’t have with Hajime.  He could see how similar they all were, how it was only a matter of time before they all became starters. _

 

_ Head bent in shame, Hajime knew he was letting his feelings get the better of him but he promised himself he would be better. _

 

_ Tomorrow he wouldn’t let the darkness crawl into his skull like he was at that moment. _

 

_ Tomorrow he would fight harder. _

 

_ But today he let it take over.  Today he let himself be weak. _

  
  
  
  


\--------------

  
  
  
  


Hajime wakes up in pain.  It’s not the first time it has happened, but somehow this time feels different.  Being an adventuress kid then an athletic teenager and finally working at the Agency meant Hajime was no stranger to pain.  He’d broken a total of 13 different bones, had sprained and dislocated several other things, and was generally covered in different bruises and scrapes more often than not.  He was fairly use to waking up with sore muscles and aching bones, nothing a hot shower and proper stretching couldn’t fix.

 

Except Hajime knew instantly that he would not be getting up anytime soon.  His mind felt foggy, his head light while his body felt heavy.  The contrasting feelings made him want to empty the contents of his stomach, though he was fairly sure there was nothing in there.  It took him longer than he’d like to admit to force open his eyelids just the smallest bit.

 

It takes a long time, too long, for Hajime to recognize the medical unit located in Section Five of the Agency.  The lights are dimmed, to which he is eternally grateful, but Watari Shinji is nowhere in sight.  Shinji was a member of the Agency team Aoba Johsai, though it was in an unofficial capacity now since he mostly ran the medical unit of their Agency section.  He had been the Guardian of Aoba Johsai, a Guardian being a person with astronomical defensive ability but very little offensive magic.  Several years back he had been caught in a bad magic rebound that had left him in a wheelchair.  Shinji took it all in stride, as he did most things, and had put all his focus onto learning modern medicine.  He was the resident doctor and had patched up almost every single field member, no matter the team, at one point or another.

 

Hajime lets out a soft grunt that he strangles off before it turns into a whine because he  _ hurts _ and he is so damn confused as to what is happening.

 

“Iwaizumi.”  Shinji is by Hajime’s side within a split moment, carefully pushing his superior back down onto the bed.  “Please be careful- um- it’s just me so you are connected to quite a few IV’s and wires.”  The stumble surprises Hajime enough to not fight when he’s tucked back carefully under the covers.  Hajime pretends not to notice the empty space where his right arm should be, his memory slowly coming back to him.

 

“Just you?”  Hajime asks after a moment, catching onto the odd phrasing.  There are usually other people in the medical unit, a university is close by and they always have a handful of those going into the medical field that study under Shinji.  There had just been a major battle though, and that meant Koushi should be there too, helping Shinji with the injured.

 

Med-mages are few in numbers, Sugawara Koushi is the only one Hajime has ever known.  Becoming a med mage is as difficult as becoming a doctor, people study for years the ins and outs of human anatomy only to be turned away.  Med mages can do a hell of a lot of damage and have been known to kill hundreds if they go bad.  Extensive psychological reviews are presented to them during their training.  Koushi was the only med-mage in the building, though a handful of other people had the beginning grasp of medical magic.  Hajime knew Koushi had been teaching Kageyama Tobio a few things, mostly how to locate injuries and how to ease pain.

 

Then Hajime remembered the battle they had been in.  How many people had been injured?  Killed?

 

“How long have I been out?”  Hajime asked, his throat raw and dry.

 

“Three days.”  Shinji looked immensely relieved as he fiddled with a couple machines before bringing a straw up to Hajime’s mouth.  The water was cool and refreshing, it felt heavy in his empty stomach.

 

“Three-” Hajime’s arm twitched, as if he was about to rub his face with his hand but the blinding pain reminded him why exactly he was in that bed.

 

“There were some leftover toxins in your system, it was too risky to add any other drugs, I’m so sorry.”  Shinji apologized, letting go of his professional air and looking much more like the young energetic 20 year old Hajime had first met.  That had been over five years prior though.

 

“It’s fine.”  No drugs meant nothing to dull the pain, which was why he was feeling every bit of the battle he had fought.  “Is everyone- where-” Hajime couldn’t get the words out, caught in his throat because he had passed out after the battle.  Something could have happened- he briefly remembered shouting.

 

“Everyone from Aoba Johsai is fine.”  Shinji quickly assured him.  The relief lasted only a minute before he recognized Shinji’s carefully stated answer.  Clearly Shinji was spending too much time with Tooru.

 

“Cut the bullshit Watari, tell me what happened.”  Hajime ordered, watching as Shinji squirmed in his chair before slumping with defeat.  Hajime was partially proud that he could still have that effect even if he was at death's door flat on his back.

 

“There were a couple injuries but they were mostly minor,” Shinji took a deep breath.  “There were- casualties.”  Hajime knew that word probably tasted as sour on Shinji’s tongue as it sounded on his voice.  When Agents died in the field that is what they were, casualties.

 

There was a boy from Nekoma who had been killed.  Hajime could tell it bothered Shinji that he didn’t know the name of the boy, though it was understandable.  Nekoma was from Section One, and none of the Five sections had much cross over.  Nekoma had only been involved because their team leader, a tall man with a wicked smirk, had something going on with the leader of Karasuno, Sawamura Daichi.

 

Yamagata Hayato from Shiratorizawa had been killed too.  He had been the Guardian of his team and died protecting one of the younger members of his team.  Aoba Johsai had a fierce rivalry with Shiratorizawa, the two teams always battling it out for a number one spot amongst the Agency, but Hajime had always liked Hayato.  He never fed into the rivalry and had spent the majority of his time with the junior members of Shiratorizawa, even those who it was obvious weren’t going to make a field position.

 

Moniwa Kaname from Datekou was a name that hit Hajime hard.  Datekou was a team full of people with Giant blood in their lineages.  Kaname had been one of the few on the field team that didn’t have any Giant blood, noticeable by his small stature made even smaller when compared to the others on his team.  He was always trying to keep the peace between the members of his team and to stop the young troublemakers from challenging everyone they met.  He seemed timid and embarrassed easy but he was always encouraging his team.  A team most people feared because of their Giant blood, a team full of people use to being outcast despite their high scores amongst the Agency.  Hajime remembered the previous Christmas how Moniwa’s team had bought him truly atrocious santa sweater and Moniwa had cried in gratitude.

 

From Karasuno was the death of Kinoshita Hisashi.  Hajime knew that death hit Shinji hard, that the two men had been become close friends after Shinji’s accident.  Hajime knew Hisashi as an anxious man, but one who had a great amount of faith in his team.  He was a range fighter and Hajime knew Karasuno would struggle with the hole he left in their already small team.

 

Shinji hesitated for a long moment and Hajime knew he was saving the worst for last.

 

“Sawamura,” Shinji was staring down at his clenched fists in his lap as Hajime felt like the ground had opened up beneath him.

 

Sawamura Daichi was- had been, Hajime harshly corrected himself, the leader of Karasuno.  He had also been a good friend to Hajime.  They had met up often to eat food and share a few beers to go over all the troublemakers in their teams.  Daichi had been one of the most solid people Hajime had ever had the pleasure of knowing, he was the backbone to Karasuno- he was unflappable and Hajime couldn’t accept that he was gone.

 

“I don’t- the whole story isn’t- I heard he sacrificed himself.”  Shinji admitted quietly, not wanting to gossip but Hajime needed to know this because the last thing he remembered before waking up in the Agency building was Daichi standing strong and opposing above him, looking out for everyone so they could take their time to grieve.  So Issie, Takahiro, and Tooru could comfort Hajime.

 

“Sacrificed himself?”  Hajime repeated in confusion.  Magic didn’t need things like blood or sacrifices to be powerful, mostly those things just made magic turn black and black magic, death or blood magic was strictly forbidden in Japan.  Daichi himself had used death magic once, and a curse had been carved into his back for his usage.  He hadn’t had a choice, the spell had been weaved and cast by someone else and Daichi had taken it into himself and turned it against the caster.  The only reason he wasn’t thrown out of the Agency for his use of death magic was because he had friends in high places who protected him.

 

Daichi had been the one who placed the barrier around the ancient, dark creatures.  Trapping them inside, or at least that’s the last thing Hajime had remembered.

 

“He went into the barrier and he unleashed his curse.”  Death magic left signs on the user, Daichi had been marked with a curse on his back.  “The barrier is still up, it’s holding in the toxins left from the death curse but the reports are that nothing is alive inside the barrier.”

 

Death magic left an ugly mark where it was used, not just on the caster but on the Earth itself.  If left alone the area attracted dark creatures and became a petri dish of death and despair.  Those areas had to be routinely purified but even then nothing ever grew on them and nothing lived there.  The area where Daichi had let loose his death curse would be quarantined off and they would most likely be putting much extra barriers for when the one Daichi had put up failed.

 

“You should rest.”  Shinji recommended softly, but there was a hard undertone to his voice.  Hajime knew he was right, despite the aching pain through his body and the wash of grief threatening to drown him Hajime was exhausted, not just physically but mentally too.

 

Hajime fell into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

  
  
  
  


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_ “Iwaizumi Hajime?”  The counselor called, leaning out of the door frame as he looked over at the five boys lined up by the wall.  Hajime stepped forward and followed the short woman into her office. _

 

_ Honestly Hajime thought this meeting was a waste of time where he could be at practice with the rest of his team, but it was mandatory for all third years to meet with a counselor to discuss future plans and goals.  Hajime already knew what he was going to do with his future, and most of these meetings were for those students who were planning to go onto college after high school.  Hajime had no such plans, he was going to the Academy and was sticking with the volleyball club until then. _

 

_ Classes hadn’t gotten any easier but Hajime learned how to focus his energy properly, learned how to schedule his time better.  He had a stack of self-help books on studying shoved deep beneath his bed.  He would never admit to using them but they had been helpful and he even managed to get into Class 3 in his second year and then Class 5 in his third. _

 

_ Hajime even managed to become a starter in the middle of his second year, and was now the team's ace.  He knew that he owed a lot of that to Tooru, who had used his own special brand of persuasion to talk to the coaches into letting Hajime start the previous year, but Hajime worked hard.  He always stayed for extra practices and never complained about running extra laps, he helped his juniors in any way he could and he was proud of the title of ace and vice captain. _

 

_ Issei and Takahiro had even wormed their way under Hajime’s mental armor.  They were still sarcastic bastards who cared very little about school, which still ticked Hajime off since he continually had to work twice as hard to get the same grades as the other two, but they proved themselves to be good teammates and even better friends. _

 

_ “Iwaizumi, you wrote that you won’t be attending college?”  The counselor asked, looking down at the small survey they had made all the third years fill out. _

 

_ “No ma’am, I am going to be applying to the Academy in the summer.”  Hajime answered, though he had written that down also.  The Academy’s applications were due after they graduated high school, during summer and if they were accepted into the programme than they would start attending at the end of summer. _

 

_ “That’s very ambitious of you, I know that a lot of young people see the Academy as a shortcut to the Agency but they aren’t made aware that very few people actually graduate the Academy.  Less than 50%.”  The counselor stapled her fingers over the papers spread on her desk.  Hajime’s heartbeat a little faster, a familiar tingle of fear running through his system even though he had told himself to prepare for this. _

 

_ “I am aware of that.”  Hajime stopped himself from squirming under the intense stare of the older woman. _

 

_ “The Agency is much more likely to acceptance an applicant after they have gotten a degree from university.”  The counselor continued on, all of which Hajime was aware of but he didn’t interrupt.  “Your grades are very good Iwaizumi, and with your athletic abilities you could have an easy acceptance into many good colleges.  I have even heard that you were approached by several scouts from three different universities.”  Hajime swallowed down the lump in his throat, not sure how the councelor knew about that.  He hadn’t even told Tooru or his parents because his plans were set. _

 

_ “I understand I am very lucky for the offers, but if I go to university that’s two to six years until I graduate, depending on what degree I would like to obtain, which I haven’t given any thought to.  Then I have to apply to the Agency and would have to go through three interviews, which could take up to a year to process.  Two years of training if I get accepted and by then I’m in my mid to late twenties before I even make it onto a proper Agency team.  The Academy is only two years and then I would be placed into a small unit for no more than a year before becoming part of an Agency team.”  Hajime explained as calmly as he could but his hands felt clammy and his heartbeat wouldn’t slow down. _

 

_ “I understand all of that but- and I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, you applied for the extra magical training classes here and you weren’t accepted because your skill level is too low.”  The counselor looked at him with imploring eyes, trying to tell him what she was meaning without actually saying it. _

 

_ It was what Hajime had been waiting for.  Hajime didn’t have great magical abilities, he could barely project his power beyond himself.  Even that took a great deal of concentration. _

 

_ “Those who go to the Academy have a great deal of magical ability, with the research you’ve clearly done you must know that too.”  She looked down at her papers briefly before looking back up at Hajime.  “Many of the classes that are required demand that magic ability to be able to pass.  I see you’ve also marked down you wish to be a field agent, which is a very dangerous job.  Especially to someone with your caliber of magic.  To put it bluntly Iwaizumi, how are you suppose to protect civilians if you cannot protect yourself from magical threats?  The Agency is a wonderful career goal for some people, and if your desire is to help people then perhaps you should consider the police force or working at a fire station?” _

 

_ “I came to this school because I knew the Academy looked at graduates from here more closely than any other school.”  Hajime said, trying to find some sort of inner peace he had never had before.  He just felt crushed all over again. _

 

_ “Yes and as someone who has worked at this school for 15 years, I have to tell you that your chances of being accepted into the Academy, let alone graduating from it are very slim.”  The counselor shifted, sighing softly.  “It is clear how much of a hard worker you are from your files alone, but I have seen a couple of your games too and you have a clear focus and you don’t crumble in the face of three blockers with many centimeters on you so that is why I’m being perfectly honest right now.  If your goal is truly to be apart of the Agency then here is what I recommend.  You go to college and continue to play volleyball, you graduate and apply to the Agency and go through all the steps you’ve mentioned before.  If it fails then you will have a cushion to fall back on.” _

 

_ She handed over several brochures to colleges, explaining which one had the best in which programs and even mentioning things about their various athletic scholarships and abilities.  Hajime nodded along, no longer fighting back as he took the papers and left with his shoulders hunched. _

 

_ Hajime headed home instead of practice, skipping for the first time in over two years.  There was only half an hour left and he wasn’t in the mood to be drilled by any of his friends or teammates over what happened.  He could brush off most people but Tooru, Issei, and Takahiro would clearly read his face and posture.  He had never been good at hiding what he was feeling like Issei or lying with his motions and body like Tooru and Takahiro.  If he was upset it read in everything about him, and he was upset. _

 

_ Hajime tried to tell himself that he had faced adversity before.  His own parents hadn’t believed he would be able to survive this high school and he had not only survived but he had done well.  He would do it again, prove everyone wrong once again if he had too. _

 

_ But Hajime didn’t want to.  He wanted someone to be in his corner for once, blindly faithful in his abilities instead of trying to make him face a harsh possibility of future failures.    Tooru believed in him but it wasn’t what he needed right now. _

 

_ Despite Tooru’s disbelief in his own abilities he was powerful, in every sense of the word.  Tooru had been adopted when he was five and he had been born a demon with two demon parents that should never have been allowed to be parents.  Tooru didn’t mention them often but Hajime got the sense that they never abused their son, they just paid him no mind.  They lacked the inherent selflessness that parents should have when it came to their children.  The Oikawa’s, Tooru’s adoptive parents, were wonderful and loving but the damage done to Tooru in the first five years of his life had left an ugly mark on Tooru. _

 

_ It didn’t help that the Oikawa’s had no idea that they had adopted a demon child.  It wasn’t as bad as it sounded, inside and out Tooru appeared human.  Sometimes when he got extremely angry black covered the whites of his eyes but it had only happened a couple times in the many years Hajime had known the other boy.  The demon community seemed to be keeping completely quiet, staying far under the radar because they were well aware of the prejudices they would face if they were brought out publically. _

 

_ Tooru possessed a great deal of magical power and unlike regular humans whose magical ability presented itself around the same time as puberty, Tooru had his magic for as long as he could remember.  It grew with him, but it was always there.  It meant that Tooru was leaps and bounds ahead of Hajime in the magical department.  But Tooru was also naturally intelligent, almost to the same level of genius.  Of course he studied and paid attention in class but he easily maintained his Class 6 level while being the Captain and setter of the volleyball club and attending extra magical lessons the school offered to those with enough skill to get in. _

 

_ No one could say that Tooru did not work hard, but in most aspects he didn’t have to.  He wouldn’t understand the crushed feeling Hajime carried around with him. _

 

_ His parents were surprised when he came home early and he told them what the counselor had said.  They listened in silence before hesitantly adding their own comments, which boiled down to mostly agreeing with the counselor.  It was another crushing blow. _

 

_ Hajime knew that his parents were just trying to look out for him, that they wanted the best for him.  Mostly they did not want him to be a field agent, where the turnover rate due to death and injury was quick.  He knew they weren’t meaning to be cruel or unkind, but he couldn’t seem to pull himself out of the dark space he was in. _

 

_ The phone rang and Hajime knew it was Tooru but he feigned sleep when his mother came to tell him.  Tomorrow he would pull himself together and he would reassure Tooru and apologize to the coaches for missing out on practice.  Tomorrow he would continue with his studies and work harder to improve his magic.  Tomorrow would be better but today, under the comfort of his bedding and alone in his dark bedroom, he let himself fall apart. _

  
  
  
  


\-------------

  
  
  
  


“I am very sorry about this Iwaizumi,” Irihata began, arms crossed over his wide chest as he leaned back in his chair and stared at Hajime from across his desk.  Irihata was the head of the Aoba Johsai team, all their orders and missions came from him and all their reports went to him.  He was one of the more laidback people in his position, trusting and allowing his team to make their own decisions.  Hajime had always had a great deal of respect for him, for anyone in his position who had to continually watch as new field agents were brought in as old ones were brought out in body bags.

 

Hajime wasn’t in a body bag but he might as well be to the Agency because as he was, he was useless.

 

“It’s alright, I understand.”  Hajime forced himself not to shift awkwardly in his seat.

 

“The Agency will cover any cost for rehabilitation.”  They would not cover the cost for a new arm made in Europe, Hajime had looked into the prices and found them far beyond anything he could ever even hope to afford.  The magic and science behind them were too new, too experimental for the Agency to put any real hope behind.

 

“Thank you for everything.”  Hajime stood up and bowed, ending the meeting to avoid further awkwardness with his now-former superior.  Irihata stood up and bowed even deeper.

 

“It is us who should be thanking you Iwaizumi, you have always been an explimary agent and now-” Irihata looked heated for a moment, anger flashing vividly across his face.  It was a surprise to Hajime but really it shouldn’t have been.  Hajime had been on the Aoba Johsai team for nearly a decade and he had done everything the Agency had asked of him.  To Irihata, to Tooru and a few others, it seemed like the Agency was treating him like a child would treat a broken toy, tossing it out without much thought to it.

 

“Thank you.”  Hajime left quickly.  His throat felt tight and his eyes burned but he refused to allow himself to show such a reaction in front of Irihata who was clearly battling his own feelings on the matter.

 

Mizoguchi was waiting outside the office.  He was next in line to take over Irihata’s role and was only a couple years older than Hajime.  He was more on the serious side than Irihata, often times sitting in on their training or group meetings and scolding Tooru for being too flippant.  In one hand was several manilla folders, new jobs and missions to be doled out to the team.

 

Karasuno was inoperable at the moment, still dealing with the death of not only a team member but their leader had left them unable to work two weeks after their deaths.  Datekou was suffering the same, some of the older members of the team stepping down after the death of their own leader and leaving a hole in their wake.  It meant that the jobs that would have gone to Karasuno and Datekou now had to be picked up by the other teams.  Aoba Johsai was busier than ever.

 

Mizoguchi gave a tight squeeze to Hajime’s left shoulder, his light brown eyes piercing Hajime before he was striding into Irihata’s office to deliver the folders.  Hajime walked robotically down the hall and to the elevator.  He punched a higher number on the buttons instead of the ground floor, his intentions obvious to himself where he was going.

 

The smaller teams of Section Five shared the top two floors and Karasuno had the smallest corner on the very top floor.  They shared lockers and training rooms with many other teams while teams like Aoba Johsai, Shiratorizawa, and Datekou occupied their own floors with separate training rooms and lockers.  Hajime had never seen anyone from Karasuno gripe about the unfair treatment of their team.

 

Karasuno had been a dead team before it was resurrected a couple years prior and given to Sawamura Daichi as a punishment for how he handled a high profile case involving a very rich and powerful family.  Many people agreed with the way he handled it, which was why he was only punished instead of fired.  His team was the smallest one at the Agency in any of the Five Sections, his field team and his office team the same people.  Daichi was also given most of the troublemakers from the Academy, those who did not fit in anywhere else but whose scores were too good to not allow into the Agency.

 

Daichi had taken a team no one believed in and made it strong and a formidable opponent.  He had taken a group of misfits and troublemakers and made them real Agency members.  Daichi had made Karasuno what it was, had resurrected it from disgrace and death to be a real team.

 

Hajime stepped into Daichi’s old office, only a quarter of the size of Tooru’s and half the size of Hajime’s own- his old office that was.  They didn’t even have a proper meeting room where they could discuss their jobs and missions.  Hajime had seen them all pile into Daichi’s small office, occupying every spare inch of the room and eating meat buns or various sweets Daichi had brought in as they talked.

 

There were papers spread out on the floor and the desk, a blanket crumpled at the end of the small couch, and a jacket tossed over the back of the desk chair.  Besides the fine layer of dust that had settled over everything it appeared as if it’s occupant had rushed out in the middle of research, as if he would be right back and not gone forever.

 

Hajime wasn’t sure why he had come here, wasn’t sure what would happen to Karasuno now.

 

The door creaked behind Hajime and he turned around to see Tooru standing in the door frame, frowning around at the small office.

 

“It’s so cramped in here, it’s a wonder Sawamura got anything done.”  Tooru spoke up, voice sounding rusty as they both looked over at one of the bookcases.  Full of ancient tombs along with modern anatomy books.  There was several picture frames.  One of a young couple sitting on a couch, bent over a small baby that must have been Daichi’s parents.  Hajime didn’t know much about them except they had died with Daichi had been fairly young.  There was a black and white photo of a handsome couple, the man looking stern while the woman beamed happily up at him.  Hajime assumed that was Daichi’s grandparents who had taken care of him and had died around the time he had entered the Academy.

 

There was a group shot of Karasuno, a clearly candid picture as they were all resting in the corner of a training room, covered in workout gear and sweat.  Most were laughing and a couple looked exasperated.  Koushi was missing so it was most likely him taking the photo.  Daichi had his hands on his hips, his head tilted down as he tried to hide his smile.  The team was loosely gathered but it was clear they centered around their leader, bodies leaning unconsciously toward him, heads tilted in his direction.

 

Another must have been from his high school graduation.  Daichi, Koushi, and Asahi had all attended the same high school and they were wearing all black military uniforms would have made them look old and harsh if it weren’t for their big grins.

 

“Have you seen any of them?”  Hajime asked, turning fully to look over at Tooru.  The other man looked exhausted, which was understandable with his bigger workload and now he was out of a second in command.

 

“Yes, they- most of them are crashing at Suga’s.”  Hajime knew his best friend must be truly tired if he wasn’t attaching ridiculous nicknames to anyone, but something about the way he said Koushi’s name made the old warning bells go off in Hajime’s head.

 

“What is it?”  Hajime demanded.  Tooru gave him a half hearted smile but Hajime was wholly unamused.  “Spit it out Shittykawa.”

 

“You don’t-”

 

“Don’t make me say it twice.”  Hajime threatened and Tooru huffed out a laugh that was only half forced.

 

“He blames me for what happened to Sawamura.”  Tooru looked away which revealed that Tooru also blamed himself for what happened to the Karasuno leader.  Hajime hadn’t been awake for what happened, had only heard stories that were heard from various sources but no one seemed to blame anyone but Daichi for how things ended.

 

“How is that even possible?”  Hajime asked, his left arm falling short when he went to cross his arms across his chest.  Tooru didn’t miss the aborted motion and he stood up a little taller.

 

“That’s not really important-”

 

“Oikawa I swear to every god and spirit listening I will kick you through a wall if you don’t start speaking.”  Hajime was tired, exhausted down to his very soul and did not have the usual fight in himself that it took to pull information out of Tooru.  Too many people had been walking on eggshells around him lately, he couldn’t handle it if his best friend started treating him differently too.

 

“When Sawamura stepped through the barrier Karasuno tried to break it.”  This was new to Hajime, no one had mentioned that yet.  “Honestly it was one of his own barriers so we didn’t think they could break it but- but if they did it would have released the death curse and everyone would have been dead.  We all- the rest of the teams had to hold them back, hold them physically down.  I always thought their giant, the bearded Azumane was a weak excuse for a giant but it took three members of Datekou to hold him down and even then they were struggling with it.  Suga broke his hand trying to break through the barrier, I held him back and he- he warned me, he told me if I didn’t let him go he would never forgive me.”  Tooru shrugged weakly.

 

Tooru had dated a lot of people, he had even liked most of them but most people didn’t realize that a romantic relationship for Tooru would always come second to his work.  They believed they could change him but Tooru had no intention of ever changing and eventually, they all worked that out for themselves.

 

It wasn’t as if Tooru was unromantic or didn’t believe in love, quite the opposite really.  But Tooru’s number one focus would always be the Agency, he wouldn’t slow down until he made it to the top and even then he would still put all his attention into maintaining new goals of running the Agency.  Maybe it was unfair of Tooru to expect his partners to understand that, to be willing to come second.

 

Hajime thought it would always be like that, until Tooru had stumbled into feelings for Sugawara Koushi.  Tooru had tried all his old tricks to get into Koushi’s good graces, for over a year he had flirted and tried to impress the med-mage but nothing had worked.  Actually it seemed to do the opposite and only annoyed Koushi the longer it went on, especially when Tooru had tried to get Koushi to switch to Aoba Johsai.

 

It wasn’t until Daichi had stepped in to help that Tooru actually got somewhere.  It wasn’t very far but he had gotten a future date out of it.  Hajime didn’t know what possessed Daichi to help out Tooru.  Tooru who had a tendency to take out his romantic frustrations on the Karasuno leader at least once a month, unwilling to apologize but trying to make up for his blow up with food.  

 

It was obvious to everyone that Koushi had been in love with Daichi for a long time, most likely since high school.  Daichi had once told Hajime that he knew about his best friends feelings for him, that they had discussed it and Koushi had been fine that Daichi did not feel the same way.  A relationship between Daichi and Koushi was not in their future, but Tooru still believed that Daichi was standing in his way of getting to Koushi.  In reality it had been Tooru’s fake personality that had been in the way, his old way of flirting did not work with a person who saw right through it.

 

“He’s just looking for someone to blame and since Daichi- since Daichi’s not around, the blame has fallen on you.”  Hajime stumbled over the sentence a little.  It was hard to believe Daichi was really gone, even harder to admit out loud.  “He just needs some time, they were friends for a long time.”

 

Being a med-mage and being as intelligent as Koushi is there were several teams who would do almost anything to get him on their team.  Section One of the Agency, the one based in the middle of Tokyo and was composed of the top teams in the country, was always trying to win favor with Koushi.  He had his pick of any team in any section but he had chosen to follow Daichi to Karasuno.

 

“You didn’t hear what he said.”  Tooru admitted softly, staring hard at the ground.  Hajime straightened at that, frowning slightly.  Hajime had never heard a mean word from Koushi from the years of knowing the med-mage, but anyone was capable of great cruelty when wounded enough.  Knowing Tooru as Hajime did he knew the other man had a habit of pushing when he should back off, knew he had most likely tried to push his way into being there for Koushi and the usually kind man had gone on the defensive.  Knowing the reason didn’t make Hajime feel any less protective over his friend.

 

Tooru was strangely fragile for someone so strong and powerful.  Hajime had gotten into the habit of protecting him since they were small and the instinct was always there.  Mostly he let Tooru handle himself, they were fully grown adults now and Hajime couldn’t baby Tooru too much but Hajime wouldn’t add to Tooru’s problems.

 

It meant shoving down his own feelings of inadequacy and disappointment to put on a strong facade.  Hajime wasn’t a good liar, not with his words or his body and Tooru would be able to see through him the second he pulled himself out of his own little pity party.  It meant that Hajime had to leave because if Tooru realized how bad of a spot Hajime was in then he would stop caring for himself to care for Hajime.

 

“I’m going to my parents for a while.”  Hajime announced, causing Tooru’s head to snap up and stare at him.  “There’s a good rehabilitation center in Sendai that I want to check out, but my appointment isn’t for another two weeks.”

 

“What about the clay limb?”  Tooru asked, brow furrowed.

 

“That was just- I was only trying to make Hiro feel better, there’s no way I can afford that.”  Hajime shrugged, trying to pretend like it didn’t matter at all to him.  Losing his dominant arm affected every aspect of his life but the fact was he was still alive.  He felt like he couldn’t mourn over a lost limb when so many other people had lost their lives in the battle.

 

“I can-”

 

“Even if we pulled our money I still wouldn’t be able to afford it.”  The procedure itself was expensive, it would drain both of them of their savings and future paychecks but it took several months.  That would mean living in London for three to five months.  Hajime thought his English was decent enough, but there was no way he could get a job to support himself there.

 

“Have you asked Mattsun and Makki?”  Tooru asked, causing Hajime to frown deeply at him.

 

“I’m not going to ask the people I’ve been dating for two months for money.”  Hajime ground out between clenched teeth.  He didn’t even know why Tooru had suggested it.  Takahiro was well off with Issei being moreso, but how often had Hajime watched them both being used for their family names and their money?  It had caused them both to be closed off to most people, using sarcasm and unimpressed expressions to create a barrier between themselves and the world.  Hajime wouldn’t breach the trust he had gained from them, wouldn’t hit them up for money like the people he had so dispised.

 

“We have all been friends since high school.”  Tooru reminded him as if Hajime had forgotten.

 

“And that gives me the right to their money?”  This conversation was getting out of hand, Hajime could feel real anger boiling up inside of him and he wasn’t going to take it out on Tooru the same way Koushi had.

 

“You didn’t hesitate when I offered.”  Tooru’s arms were crossed and he had that look about him that said he wouldn’t stop until he got his way.  This was one fight Hajime wasn’t willing to back down from with Tooru.

 

“That’s different and you know it.”  Hajime had never been good at controlling his emotions.  If he was angry then he was angry, it showed all over his face and his body posture.

 

“How?  Mattsun and Makki aren’t going to think you’re only dating them for their money, they would want to help and-”

 

“No Oikawa!  Listen to me just this once, I said no and I mean it.  Do not talk about this with them, I’ve made up my mind.”  Hajime walked past Tooru into the hall, feeling disrespectful about having such an argument in Daichi’s office.  “You should go, I know you have a meeting.  Too many teams are out of commission right now and your workload has tripled.  I will be fine.”  Hajime didn’t turn around as he headed towards the elevator, feeling worse now than when he had with his conversation with Irihata.

 

Hajime called his parents when he got back to his apartment.  It was a mess, he had been spending most nights at Takahiro’s for the past couple months and had only really come back to grab clean clothes.  His parents hid their happiness about him coming back home poorly.  They were proud of him, of course they were, but they were also terrified of losing him.  They were happy the Agency had let him go, that he was no longer in danger of being a field agent.

  
Hajime rested on his bed and tried to ignore the heaviness in his heart and the phantom feeling of a missing limb.


	2. The Worst

_ The Academy was not going as well as Hajime had hoped.  The classes were a real struggle, which was not any real surprise.  His lack of magical ability had been made abundantly clear to him but many of the classes were on the more technical side, and he did well enough in those to make up for the applied magic classes.  The physical training was hard work too but years of volleyball club and extra practices had honed his body and reflexes.  He actually really enjoyed those classes, they pushed his body to its limit but he always felt accomplished after. _

 

_ Hajime and Tooru had been separated into different classes, which was really no surprise either.  Their magic ability being so vastly different it was no wonder, but Hajime barely saw his friend at all.  It was probably for the best, if Tooru found out what was going on then heads would roll. _

 

_ Hajime had never been bullied in his life.  His warm personality usually won over most people and those not won over from it took one look at him physically and realized it was best not to overstep their bounds.  So when he started to be bullied at the age of 18 he really didn’t understand what was going on at first. _

 

_ Honestly he thought it was pranks taken a little too far.  Issei and Takahiro were big on pranks so Hajime had gotten use to pulling out surprise condoms from his pockets or opening his locker to see it full to the brim of extremely cheesy valentine cards.  Harmless things that made Hajime’s face burn a little but everyone else laugh.  The only reason Hajime even got flustered was because he was more than a little in love with his friends, but that was a completely different story. _

 

_ Pranks Hajime knew all about.  He had even pulled a few.  Replacing Issei and Takahiro’s work out clothes with something just a size too small during a training camp when they had stolen his breakfast the morning before was one of his favorites.  Neither had been embarrassed by the too-short shorts and too-tight shirts, strutting around and baring more skin than was necessary.  That particular prank had backfired, causing Hajime’s heart to beat a bit frantically in his chest. _

 

_ Then things had gotten cruel.  An indistinguishable black-blue goo saturating his bed.  Itching powder in his clothes.  The water during his shower becoming so hot, so quickly he had a burn on his back he had to go to the infirmary for.  Missing homework he knew he had left on his desk.  Alarms that were turned off, making him late for classes. _

 

_ Hajime couldn’t understand why anyone would do these things.  It was only six months into the program and the bullying was wearing Hajime down.  The Academy didn’t allow anything electronic in.  A lot of magic messed with electronics and when there was a large group of teenagers running around, things tended to fizzle out or blow up.  It meant they were allotted only a couple minutes a week to use the school phones.  Somehow every time Hajime went to use his time, it was already out even though he hadn’t talked on the phone to anyone in two weeks.  Letters were acceptable, and every once and awhile he got one from his parents but from no one else.  Takahiro and Issei had gone off to college instead of taking the Academy route.  Hajime hadn’t expected them to write but- well, he guessed he had expected them to write a little.  At least for his birthday which came and went without a word from either of them. _

 

_ That really hurt, more so than any of the bullying really could.  Sometime during the end of Hajime’s first year he had acknowledged that he felt more than just pure friendship towards Takahiro.  The boy had successfully wormed himself under Hajime’s skin and directly into his heart, which was overly emotion and more cheesy than anything Hajime would ever willingly admit to.  During their third year Hajime had to admit that he was a little in love with Issei also. _

 

_ Hajime never said his feelings out loud, to anyone or even to himself.  He accepted them easily enough.  Takahiro and Issei were both good looking though in vastly different ways, Hajime wished he was taller or they were shorter but there was nothing he could do about that.  He had finally accepted the fact that he would be the shortest one in their group of friends.  They were sarcastic and closed off but they allowed Hajime to see past that.  They had let him close and Hajime found that he really liked who they were. _

 

_ Hajime hadn’t expected flowers or confessions or anything like that from them for his birthday but he had expected some sort of acknowledgement.  Letters weren’t as easy as sending a text and while the other two men had been lazy about school they had never seemed like the type to be bothered by writing. _

 

_ It hurt and the bullying on top of that didn’t help Hajime feel any better.  He was pretty positive one or all three of his roommates were involved in it.  Too many things went missing or were destroyed in their shared dorm room for it to be anyone outside the small group.  They also had a habit of not looking him in the eye and slipping out when he tried to talk to them. _

 

_ So when the holidays came up and everyone was granted a week and half of break, Hajime couldn’t help but feel a great sense of relief.  That was until he was denied permission to actually go home. _

 

_ Everyone who wished to leave the Academy had to submit a form, those who wanted to stay there had to submit a different form.  Apparently Hajime had submitted the form to stay at the Academy, even though he knows he submitted his leave form before the due date.  It meant he couldn’t leave, and if he tried they would take that as him wanting to permanently leave the Academy. _

 

_ Tooru had not been happy.  Hajime had told him the forms had gotten mixed up, which wasn’t a lie exactly.  The forms had been mixed up, he just left out that he believed they had been purposely done so.  But neither of them could do anything about it so Tooru went back home without Hajime. _

 

_ Hajime’s roommates all left too, so at least Hajime would have a week and a half free of them.  He really should have known better because by the time he got back from seeing Tooru off at the bus station he knew his first night was already ruined. _

 

_ The room was soaked, everything completely saturated with a clear liquid that smelled horribly.  Hajime was even forced to wash and clean his roommates part of the room and their beds just to get rid of the horrible smell. _

 

_ Hajime thought of tossing their beds out of the room or something else like that but sighed in defeat.  He couldn’t destroy Academy property, that would only get him in trouble so he continued scrubbing well into the night. _

 

_ The campus isn’t as empty as Hajime would have thought but the difference of a couple hundred missing students makes it seem like Hajime is alone.  He ends up in the library often enough, looking through several books and writing down protection runes.  Runes require magic to work but done correctly they don’t require as much magic as incantations or spells.  He figured if he put a couple runes on his things in his room then maybe his stuff would stay safe. _

 

_ Hajime spent a lot of time exploring.  He trained with a couple other students, trying to fight off his mental anguish with physical labor but he still felt lethargic.  He had been heading to a find an empty training room when he had stumbled upon one of the teachers Ukai with a student who was roughly Hajime’s own height with short brown hair and a muscular build. _

 

_ Ukai taught most of their weapons training classes.  He was loud, yelled a lot, and liked to toss whatever was in his hand at students who didn’t pay attention.  Hajime liked Ukai a lot but he had steadfastly refused any student who asked for extra training from him.  It certainly looked like Ukai was training the younger man. _

 

_ Daichi, Hajime thought his name was.  They shared a few classes and Hajime thought the other boy was strong in defensive magic.  They looked like they were training in long staves, Ukai’s movements assured and easy while Daichi copied the movements with graceful but hesitant motions.  Ukai smacked Daichi upside the head and had him run through the motions again. _

 

_ “I heard they are sleeping together.”  Hajime turned towards one of the other boys he had been regularly eating meals with since everyone else was gone.  Hajime looked back where Ukai was using his stave to nudge Daichi’s legs into the right position. _

 

_ They looked close to Hajime, closer than a student and teacher would be but Hajime didn’t get the feeling that they were in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship.  There was almost a fondness to Ukai’s brashness, it reminded Hajime of how Tooru’s older sister treated him.  There were a lot of years between Tooru and his older sister, it left them with a sibling-parental-friend relationship that was neither solely one thing but a combination of all of them.  The way Ukai and Daichi were looked a lot like that sort of relationship, a closeness of souls instead of bodies. _

 

_ Hajime didn’t say anything though, it was clear that the rumor was spit out from jealousy and bitterness of not having one-on-one time with a well respected teacher.  Hajime understood that, could feel the same emotions burning deep inside of him.  Ugly emotions he pretended he didn’t have, he didn’t want to be that petty.  It didn’t help that Daichi seemed to be a really good guy, even from afar.  He had a warm solid presence that pulled people in close.  Hajime couldn’t stop the bitter thought that probably no one bullied Daichi. _

 

_ “Oh hey, you have some mail waiting for you at the front office.”  The boy said as they both walked away.  Hajime was surprised, besides the handful of letters from his parents he hadn’t gotten anything int he mail.  He assumed they were presents from his parents but was happy to see there was a package from Tooru also.  He tried not to think too hard about not seeing anything from Issei or Takahiro.  Hajime had Tooru bring the gifts he bought for them with him back home. _

 

_ Hajime went back to his room, still smelling clean of disinfectant and put down his packages.  He knew the responsible thing to do was to go through the ones sent from his parents and call them right away, but his hands grabbed the box from Tooru and tore it open instead. _

 

_ There’s several presents packed together and a letting sitting neatly on top.  Hajime can guess that the nicely gift wrapped ones must be from Tooru’s mom, honestly they look like something you’d see in a catalogue of gift wrapped presents.  There’s ones with the ugliest reindeer on them and Hajime’s heart beats a little faster despite telling himself not to get his hopes up but who else would purposely buy such an ugly wrapping paper? _

 

_ The letter is hastily written and long-winded, Hajime can hear Tooru’s voice inside his mind as he reads through it quickly.  Hajime managed to crush not only his own parents but the Oikawa’s too.  Tooru laments that his parents wouldn’t even be half as upset if Tooru didn’t come home for the holidays as they were about Hajime missing them.  Issei and Takahiro are there, Issei has grown even taller and both Tooru and Hajime are equally as annoyed about that fact.  Issei and Takahiro are also dating. _

 

_ They wanted to surprise Hajime and Tooru with the news.  It’s not actually that much of a surprise really when all things considered.  Their colleges were only a short bus ride away from each other and they had always been close.  Issei hadn’t dated anyone in high school but Takahiro had gone on multiple dates, a couple times even double dating with Tooru and whoever he had been seeing at the time. _

 

_ Hajime can almost see the hesitancy that Tooru writes about the new relationship.  They never discussed Hajime’s crush on their friends, Hajime wasn’t sure if Tooru knew about one of the crushes or both of them.  Tooru had never pushed Hajime to talk about it because Hajime never had any interest in talking it through.  He loved his friends and he was in love with two of them and they were now dating each other. _

 

_ Hajime was happy for them.  Really he was, he already knew they made each other happy.  With how Issei’s family was, Takahiro was a good choice there too.  They were good for each other. _

 

_ Hajime went through the presents after that, trying to settle whatever odd, indescribable feeling was bubbling up inside of him.  His parents sent him all the essentials, socks and underwear with shirts and new workout clothes.  There was food and treats aplenty from both the Iwaizumi’s and Oikawa’s.  Tooru got him several books by his favorite murder-mystery author.  Takahiro got him two shirts.  The first had a T-Rex on it wearing a tophat and a monicole, holding a tea cup with ‘Tea-Rex’ written across it.  It made Hajime roll his eyes but smile fondly anyways.  The second was a vintage Godzilla shirt.  Issei got Hajime a book of Dad-Jokes which include jokes like ‘Two peanuts were walking down the street.  One was a salted’ and had Hajime laughing only because no one was around to hear him.  Issei also got him a book on protection runes and spells. _

 

_ Hajime flipped through it, shoulders hunched.  Issei always had an uncanny ability to know about things he really shouldn’t.  They hadn’t even talked since Hajime and Tooru left for the Academy. _

 

_ There was no reason for Hajime to feel the way he was feeling.  A couple more months and he would be able to go home.  He could see his family again, he could spend days with his friends.  He wouldn’t have to deal with being bullied constantly or have to prove anything to anyone. _

 

_ Hajime’s head felt a mess and he crawled on his bed, suddenly too tired to even pull down the covers.  He didn’t know what was wrong with him, he felt so heavy and his head and heart hurt.  The fact that he knew he had no reason to be feeling that way, that he should feel happy that his family and friends sent him anything at all, wasn’t helping. It just made him feel ashamed of himself, guilt pushing against him until he was curled into a tight ball on top of his bed, glad no one could see him fall to pieces. _

  
  
  
  


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Hajime waited in a small cafe in Tokyo.  It was a cafe he had frequented often when he still worked at the Agency because it was near to Section Five’s building that he could run out for a quick meal and be back within an hour.

 

It had been over a month since he had been near the Agency, any of their buildings in Tokyo.  A month since he had last been back in Tokyo at all.  He had moved back home with his parents at their insistence.  He could have afforded his own place near his physical therapy office, but his parents had wanted him close and he couldn’t really blame them.  He hadn’t told them exactly how close he had come to dying but they had connected the five deaths with the same day he had lost his arm.

 

They couldn’t quite contain their relief that he was back home and out of the Agency.  The Agency had even offered him a nice cushiony office job once he completed his therapy but Hajime never wanted to be an office worker.  He hadn’t worked his ass off for years upon years, pushing himself to the very limit to be part of the office team.

 

Hajime meant no disrespect towards those who did office work, they needed that.  They needed those who dedicated them to research to free up the field workers to actually be in the field.  But Hajime had worked so hard for so long to gain his position and he couldn’t reconcile with having to settle for anything less than what he had worked for.

 

It was hard to come back to Tokyo but he needed a break from his hovering parents and the forced cheer of his physical therapist.  Hajime needed to make sure his idiot best friend was properly taking care of himself now that Hajime wasn’t there everyday to make sure he slept and ate regularly.  Focusing on Tooru meant he didn’t have to focus on himself.

 

Plus he had missed his boyfriends desperately, not that he’d ever say that in so many words.  They had been so busy taking on more of the workload at the Agency and he had been getting resettled in Miyagi that they hadn’t really had time to discuss their futures.  It was a thought that terrified Hajime a little.

 

The majority of Karasuno was still out of commission.  Tooru wouldn’t talk about Koushi but Hajime had gotten some information out of Issei and Takahiro, and surprisingly enough Kyoutani Kentarou who messaged Hajime often.  Koushi refused to come back to the Agency and if he wasn’t a med-mage then Hajime was sure the Agency would have fired him, but he was now on extended leave.  The younger members could be seen at the Agency every once and awhile, helping out various other teams but from what Hajime understood, the death of their leader and one of their own was still settling heavily on all of their shoulders.

 

Datekou was still adjusting to a new leader so they still weren’t handling any bigger jobs than necessary.  It meant Aoba Johsai and the rest of the teams were still picking up the slack, and there was a lot of slack left over.

 

“Iwaizumi Hajime?”  A short reed-thin man asked as he stood by the booth Hajime occupied.  Hajime looked up at him, noting the sharp eyes behind wire-framed glasses.  The man sat down after Hajime nodded hesitantly.  “Hello, my name is Takahashi Haruto.  I am an associate of Matsukawa Industries.”  Hajime sat up straighter and felt his brows furrow.

 

“Issei isn’t here.”  Hajime felt the need to say something even if he regretted what he choose to say.

 

“I know, I’m here to discuss an issue with you.”  Hajime did not like where any of this was going.  Hajime had been dating Issei and Takahiro for a couple months by then and Iseei’s family had never shown an interest in knowing anything about him.  “In the interest of full disclosure I should tell you I’m what you might call a professional problem solver.”

 

“Is that so?”  Hajime asked, iron in his back and tone as he stared down at the other man across the table.  It was clear the problem Takahashi Haruto was paid to solve was Hajime.

 

“Yes, as I’m sure you know the Matsukawa’s have an imagine to maintain.”  Haruto continued and Hajime had to give it to him, the man did not seem bothered in the least to be stared down by Hajime, who had been told on multiple occasions that his looks alone could stop people in their tracks, and not in a good way.  “Issei is the fourth son so his- ah, shall we say proclivities aren’t looked at as closely as the eldest are, but he is being watched.”

 

Hajime couldn’t help but wonder if they had a problem with the gay thing, which was unlikely unless Takahiro also had to go through this little discussion.  Was it because he and his family were decidedly middle-class?  Perhaps it had to do with the fact that Hajime wasn’t very powerful, even less so now that he was out of a job and missing a limb.

 

“Get to the point.”  Hajime leaned back, not wanting to prolong this conversation any more than it had to be.

 

“The Matsukawa’s are willing to pay very well for you to leave this little relationship you have going on.”  An envelope was slid across the table.  So it was the three people in a relationship that the Matsukawa’s had a problem with.

 

It was utter horse shit and it was something Hajime had to deal with regularly ever since he had started taking Takahiro and Issei.  People always jumped to sex when they heard about it, not that Hajime went around discussing it with just anyone, but he also didn’t try to hide his relationship either.  It was ridiculous, Hajime had never been interested in sex before and he wasn’t interested in it now, though he knew Takahiro and Issei did have a sexual relationship.  That was beside the point though.  It seemed to be a rampant thought through a lot of people's minds that the only reason someone would enter into a relationship with more than one person would be for sex.

 

Hajime had no problem with sex, he personally just had no interest in it.  Not that he was going to explain it to Haruto or the Matsukawa’s.  They could eat shit for all he cared, his patience was wearing thin.

 

“I don’t want their money.”  Hajime barely managed to spit the words out.

 

“They have heard about your accident and your inability to afford a replacement.  Even if you somehow did scrape the money together there is a long list ahead of you.  It’s not just money they are offering but the chance to get a new arm within just a couple days.”  Haruto said, confident in his ability to buy Hajime’s loyalty which was not, and will never be, for sale.

 

Hajime would never admit it outloud but honestly the only thing holding him together for totally losing it was Issei and Takahiro.  Hajime also knew they were doing all they could to help Tooru from drowning in his expanded responsibilities.  The stupid texts and long messages left on his phone every day were just about the only reason he continued to get out of the morning.

 

Hajime felt pathetic admitting that even to himself, he knew he was just in a slump and he’d eventually pull himself out.  He always managed to pull himself out of these dark places he got into, but for right now he allowed himself to lean a little on his boyfriends.  He loved them and he would never betray them like that.

 

“Everyone has a price Iwaizumi, and it is my job to find out yours.”  Haruto could probably read the disgust and refusal on Hajime’s face.  He took back the envelope and stood up.  “Please don’t interpret this as an ending, it is only a small retreat.”  He walked away and Hajime fought down the urge to yell cusses at his back.

 

Several minutes later Hajime’s phone started to ring, Takahiro’s name and a picture with him making a scrunched up pug-face pops up on the screen.

 

“Hajime I’m so sorry.”  Takahiro said immediately even before Hajime could get out a greeting.  Hajime’s shoulders slumped.

 

“It’s okay, go do whatever you need to do.”  Hajime tried not to think about how a couple months ago he’d be there with them, rushing from place to place to help take care of the magical problems that arose.

 

“Do you have to go back today?”  Takahiro asked, voice hopeful and it was clear how upset he was by how much he wasn’t joking around.

 

“Yeah I have a doctors appointment tomorrow.”  Hajime shifted in his seat, trying not to let the disappointment he was feeling leak into his voice.  There was nothing any of them could do about this and Hajime definitely did not blame them.

 

“Who are you talking to?  Is it your boyfriend?”  Issei’s voice came through clearly, soft and teasing.

 

“It’s your boyfriend.”  Takahiro shot back triumphantly.

 

“What?  How could you?  I thought you loved me.”  They bickered back and forth until Hajime was laughing, his heart hurting a little from missing them so much.

 

“I should get to the train station, don’t forget to eat.”  They had been meeting up for lunch and this new emergency meant that they would be skipping a meal.  Hajime doubted any of them remembered to eat breakfast either.

 

“Hajime,” Takahiro’s voice went soft which meant that Issei was most likely the only person around to hear him.

 

“Take care of yourself.”  Issei’s voice was a little far off but he spoke in that uncanny way of his, except it wasn’t uncanny.  Issei was a clairvoyant, it had taken him years to build up enough trust with Hajime to be able to tell him that.  Issei hadn’t told Tooru, though Hajime was pretty sure Tooru had an idea of what Issei was.  Sometimes his ‘feelings’ were just a little too on the nose to be anything but someone having a picture of what a future outcome would be.  It was a well-kept secret amongst the Matsukawa’s, it was how they had amassed their fortune over several centuries and continued to have a seat of power.  Issei had pretended he didn’t have the family gift, and that was the real reason why his family left him to his own devices, despite what Takahashi Haruto had said about Issei being left alone because he was the youngest son.

 

The thing about the future though is that it is always changing.  During the fight over a month ago Issei had quietly suggested leaving the juniors out of it.  Issei didn’t offer advice often, but when he did people tended to listen.  Tooru had stared hard at Issei for several tense minutes before finally agreeing.  Hajime would be forever thankful for that suggestion.  He might be disappointed where his life was currently at but he would give up his other arm before he would sacrifice one of his juniors.

 

“You too.”  They hung up when Tooru started shouting in the background.  Hajime left a big tip on the table, an apology to the waitress for wasting an hour in a booth during the lunch rush when all he had was a tea.

 

Hajime stood up and started the walk back to the station, his feet dragging slightly.  Honestly he was getting a little sick of himself, tired of feeling this way.  It had only been a little over a month and it wasn’t as if they were purposely dodging him.  He knew this black mood was only temporary but it was hard to see the light when everything was so dark.

  
  
  
  


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_ “Maybe you should consider a different occupation, they are always looking for desk jockeys.”  The words were new but the meaning behind them was the same thing Hajime had heard on multiple occasions.  You’re not good enough, you should lower your expectations.  Hajime visibly brushed them off and he wished he could mentally do the same.  It was hard though, hearing those words from someone he admired and respected.  His own team leader didn’t believe in him and he had been a field agent longer than anyone else on the team. _

 

_ Hajime had made it past the Academy, graduated with Tooru and a dozen others while many more dropped out or were held back for another year.  He made it and he had hoped that would prove he deserved to be there.  That and the fact he was clearly a hard worker and listened to orders well. _

 

_ The current leader of Aoba Johsai didn’t seem to think so though.  Masuda Ayumu was the leader of Aoba Johsai.  A 32 year old veteran of the Agency with quick reflexes and powerful offensive magic.  He ran the team with military precision and he expected everyone to keep up to his high standards.  For the most part he had ignored Hajime, only barking orders or correcting his posture during training exercises. _

 

_ A week prior Ayumu had started to suggest that Hajime would fit better in with the office workers.  Hajime had taken that as a challenge to work harder, staying later to run through the training procedures they had been taught that day, working physically and magically to get better but it didn’t seem to impress Ayumu at all. _

 

_ “Yoohoo Iwa!  There you are.”  Tooru strode into the training room like he owned it.  Hajime couldn’t help but wonder if Ayumu felt Tooru breathing down his neck, gunning for his position.  Tooru had a habit of getting what he wanted and it wouldn’t be long before he got promoted to a lead position.  “You didn’t forget about our plans, did you?  How very irresponsible- Iwa! Don’t throw weights!”  It had only been an ankle weight and Tooru had dodged it anyways. _

 

_ “I didn’t forget.”  Hajime began cleaning up, unstrapping the second ankle weight and leaving everything precisely where he had found it.  Sweat made his work out clothes cling to his skin and he was attempting to regulate his heavy breathing.  He had pushed himself too far this time and he knew he’d be feeling it tomorrow. _

 

_ “Are you limping?”  Tooru asked in that same fake sing-song voice that he knew drove Hajime crazy, but there was a hard edge to it. _

 

_ “Yes, I didn’t stretch properly and now I’m facing the fucking consequences, get off my back.”  Hajime grunted out as he walked to the locker room.  It wasn’t a lie exactly, he hadn’t stretched properly before he begun the extra training.  He had hurt himself only minutes before Tooru came in but if he iced his thigh that night and left it elevated while he slept it’d be in working order the next day. _

 

_ Hajime knew all about pushing himself too hard.  He knew his limits and he had met them an hour before.  He knew he should have stopped but Ayumu’s words kept repeating in his head like a CD with just one song. _

 

_ Hajime showered quickly and changed into the spare clothes he kept in his locker.  An ingrained habit made him check his phone where there was a message from his mother reminding him about his father's birthday party in two weeks and then a message from Sagara Mitsuaki, his boyfriend.  Mitsuaki was tired and wouldn’t be able to make it to Hajime’s later that night, which was only a small relief to Hajime. _

 

_ Hajime really liked Mitsuaki but they had been dating for a little over a month and Mitsuaki was pushing for a more physical relationship.  Hajime sometimes wondered if putting all his concentration into school and volleyball then the Academy and now the Agency had somehow killed his libido because he had no interest in sex whatsoever.  He couldn’t tell that to Mitsuaki though without it coming out insulting.  The fact that he wasn’t interested in a physical relationship had ruined his last relationship.  They had dated for a total of five months before Hajime confided that he didn’t want to get intimate with her.  He had stumbled over his own words and he even admitted that he didn’t phrase everything too well, but she had gotten insulted and had believed Hajime was in love with Tooru and promptly broke up with him. _

 

_ It made Hajime think there was something wrong with him, this complete lack of interest in sex when he was a healthy 20 year old man.  He had been avoiding spending any extended period alone with Mitsuaki and over the past week, Mitsuaki had been increasingly busy so it worked out well.  Except that Hajime wanted to see his boyfriend, he just didn’t want to have sex with him. _

 

_ “Here,” Tooru is holding out a plain black beanie which Hajime takes hesitantly, looking at his friend warily.  “I didn’t curse it, Mattsun told me to grab it, we’re going to a different restaurant and it’ll take a couple minutes to walk there.”  It wasn’t the dead of winter yet but the nights were still cold and Hajime’s hair was wet from his shower.  Hajime pulled on the beanie gratefully, ignoring Tooru’s meaningful look towards it.  It was just another one of those well placed guesses that Issei was always making. _

 

_ “C’mon, don’t want to be late.”  Hajime began walking out of the locker room, tugging on his coat over his hoodie. _

 

_ “Apparently they have great agedashi tofu there.”  Tooru kept stride with Hajime easily, damn his long legs.  He gave Hajime another meaningful look. _

 

_ “I’m pretty sure they have other things to eat there too.”  Hajime relaxed a little bit at that information though.  Agedashi tofu was his favorite and he hadn’t been eating well the past couple days.  “Just say whatever you’re thinking and stop looking at me with that dumb look.” _

 

_ “Rude,” Tooru puffed up his cheeks, looking forward and pouting as they walked out of the Agency building together.  There was two minutes of blissful silence until Tooru started speaking again.  “Mattsun has very good intuition, don’t you think?” _

 

_ “Not this again, either ask him about it or let it go.”  Hajime snapped back but there really was no heat behind his words.  Issei did have good intuition and Hajime wasn’t quite stupid enough to believe it was just that, but he also didn’t have the overwhelming need to know everyone inside and out like Tooru did. _

 

_ “I have!  Mattsun is very good at dodging questions.”  Tooru’s shoulders went up defensively and Hajime hid his smirk by ducking his head into the collar of his hoodie, pretending he was cold.  Issei was good at dodging questions, even better at getting Tooru to completely forget what he was asking by simply being a little shit.  Takahiro would of course join in and then Tooru’s whole carefully laid plan would go to waste. _

 

_ “Then let it go, he’ll tell you when he wants.”  Hajime said for what felt like the hundredth time.  Tooru let out a long, dramatic sigh but his sharp eyes were carefully looking down at Hajime’s left leg, where his limp was originating from. _

 

_ “You’ve been spending a lot of time with extra training.”  Tooru said and Hajime knew he had to put a stop to that right away. _

 

_ “Oh look the restaurant.”  Hajime sped up and opened the door wide for a frowning Tooru.  “I don’t want to hear shit about extra training from someone who blew out their knee a month into high school.”  Tooru made that over exaggerated pouting face that he thought was adorable but Hajime found obnoxious. _

 

_ “That was five years ago!  I’ve grown as a person!”  Tooru argued as they walked into the restaurant together. _

 

_ “Very doubtful.”  Hajime snickered. _

 

_ “At least I grew taller, should I ask the waitress for a booster- oof!”  Tooru bent over from where Hajime had punched him in the gut. _

 

_ “Our former captain and vice captain making a scene in a public place.”  A deadpan voice breaks through their bickering and Tooru’s increasingly loud whining. _

 

_ “It’s like we’re still in high school.”  Another voice, just as impassive as the first, speaks up and draws their attention towards a booth close to the door.  Tooru continues his whining as he tries to garner sympathy from the expressionless duo occupying the booth.  Hajime slides into the seat next to Issei after pulling out his coat, making sure to slap Tooru’s back with the tail end of his jacket with a practiced flick of the wrist. _

 

_ “Rude!”  Tooru slumps down into the seat next to Takahiro. _

 

_ “It was an accident.”  Hajime said in a deeply unbelievable tone. _

 

_ “Yes Oikawa, clearly an accident.”  Takahiro spoke up, voice as impassive as before. _

 

_ “Our Iwaizumi is very clumsy like that.”  Issei agrees with a nod, eyes heavily lidded and face blank.  Hajime nods in agreement though he could never quite achieve the expressionless tones and faces his other two friends could. _

 

_ Several plates of food came mere moments after Hajime and Tooru had sat down.  A plate of agedashi tofu with a bowl of ramen was put down in front of Hajime, who grinned over at Issei. _

 

_ “Thanks for the hat.”  Hajime said, managing to keep his eyes from lingering on all the small changes in Issei that had happened the past couple months of not seeing each other.  Issei gave Hajime a nod, a small smile twisting the corners of his usually flat mouth upwards. _

 

_ “I brought the hat.”  Tooru spoke up but everyone mostly ignored him, to Tooru’s utter dismay.  “Makki- what is wrong with your hair?”  Takahiro makes a strangled noise, losing his edge of disinterest as he pats at his head.  Hajime had been trying to carefully not look at Takahiro or Issei for too long that he had missed a major change. _

 

_ “It looked good when Iwaizumi did it.”  Takahiro complained and Hajime had to hide his grin behind a steaming cup of tea.  During summer a Firebug had landed on Hajime’s hair and burned away a small section of it.  To compensate for the new bald pat, the hairdresser had given him an undercut.  It was mostly grown out now, but Hajime had sported it for a couple of the warmer months.  Firebugs were a lot like fireflies, small glowing insects, and it was hard to tell the difference except Firebugs tended to light things on fire when squished.  Hajime hadn’t meant to kill it, he hadn’t even realized it had landed on him and had reached up to run a hand through his hair. _

 

_ Takahiro looked like he had a severe bowl cut and then someone had razor cut the bottom half of his hair until soft pink skin was left over.  Takahiro was known for horrendously bad hair cuts so it was really nothing new.  It was also something that was hilarious between the small group. _

 

_ Takahiro’s head is bent over the table, letting various fingers poke at the newly revealed skin of his scalp as he worries over the hairdresser being a witch and maybe she spelled it so no hair would ever grow there again.  Issei shakes his head slightly when Hajime looks at him with questioning eyes, so it was unlikely Takahiro had been cursed by a hairdresser witch. _

 

_ The door opened and closed quickly, two figures walking in together.  Hajime looked up and quickly noticed them as being Sawamura Daichi and Azumane Asahi.  Most new arrivals to the Agency had a tendency to go from one team to another until they found a place they fit the best.  Asahi, being part Giant, was assigned to Datekou where mostly anyone with giant blood went.  Daichi was working on his second team now, or perhaps his third. _

 

_ Having fae-blood wasn’t an uncommon thing and in recent years it became more and more common to see those with mixed blood in the cities instead of hiding.  The Agency had just recently allowed those with fae-blood to join their workforce.  Some people tried to hide it, but a lot of the time it was obvious. _

 

_ Hajime had seen Asahi when they were all new in the Academy and he had looked like he was a 30 year old well-built man back then.  Those with Giant blood running through their system tended to be taller-than-average but sometimes they were all height and no weight.  Asahi was tall as well as broad, and after one hit during a training match Hajime knew the tall man had the power to back up his Giant-heritage. _

 

_ Takahiro had fae-blood, though it was only noticeable through his light pink hair but most people just assumed he dyed it.  Hajime wasn’t sure exactly what Takahiro was, though he knew the fae-part came from Europe where half of his family was from.  Takahiro had spent the first thirteen years of his life in California before his parents moved back to Japan when his mum got serious case of homesickness. _

 

_ Daichi and Asahi moved to a booth in the back, where a lone man with ash colored hair and soft gray eyes sat.  He beamed when he saw the two Agency members and they started launching into a conversation immediately. _

 

_ Hajime turned around before he got caught staring.  Maybe Hajime liked the breadth of Asahi’s shoulders a little too much and the bloke had really great hair, Hajime could never pull off long hair he’d look like a bum.  But Asahi seemed like a nervous wreck a majority of the time and judging from his previous and current relationships, not to mention his long time crush on two of his best friends, he tended to go for those with almost too-much confidence. _

 

_ Something caught Hajime’s eye over at the pick-up line.  Two people leant together, fingers entwined with the shorter of the two leaning over to whisper something into the other man's ear, a slight smirk and a flushed face. _

 

_ The Aoba Johsai leader, Ayumu, was prone to blushing and Mitsuaki always liked to rile people up. _

 

_ Hajime felt shame press hard at his shoulders, mouth pressing into a firm line as he stared down at the dredges left in his mug.  Mitsuaki had started to pull away, distance himself the same time as Ayumu started to try and nudge Hajime out of Aoba Johsai. _

 

_ “Iwaizumi?”  Takahiro questioned, voice sounding like it was coming far away.  The spot where he had twinged a muscle in his thigh beat in time with his accelerated heart rate.  He rubbed at his absently as his eyes flickered back up, unable to stop himself from watching the wreck of his love life. _

 

_ Mitsuaki was broad shouldered and tall with sharp eyes and a wicked grin.  Ayumu looked like a fighter, heavily muscled and rough around the edges.  Ayumu also had about a decade on Mitsuaki, gray hairs starting to creep into his temples. _

 

_ “Do you know them?”  Takahiro asked and of course they all noticed who he was looking at.  Tooru’s mouth was open, looking over at Hajime who immediately let his eyes slid to the side.  Hajime could still see the cold anger overtake Tooru and only fast reflexes had him reaching out to stop Tooru from making a scene. _

 

_ “What the fuck Hajime?”  Tooru spat out, though he did it quietly and that’s all Hajime really cared about.  Takahiro and Issei but leant in, recognizing the serious of the situation when Tooru dropped stupid nicknames and swore.  Despite being long time friends with Hajime, who mostly didn’t get through a sentence without sprinkling in some sort of cuss, Tooru hardly ever swore.  Hajime had no idea why he was concentrating on something so mundane and utterly unimportant. _

 

_ “Drop it.”  Hajime couldn’t quite meet Tooru, or anyone’s, eyes right at that moment.  How had he not noticed?  It seemed so obvious now that Hajime reflected back on it but he had been too consumed with studying and extra training to notice when it started. _

 

_ “But-” _

 

_ “Please.”  Hajime slid a little lower in his seat as his boyfriend and team leader walked out of the restaurant with the take away bag and their fingers entwined.  Tooru looked mutinous but he didn’t follow them out and that’s all that mattered to Hajime. _

 

_ Sometimes Hajime felt like he really couldn’t catch a break.  He had worked so hard to be where he was, to gain a position on the one Agency team he wanted to be apart of and now all that was going to be pulled away from him because of someone he dated. _

 

_ Mitsuaki’s betrayal hurt, Hajime couldn’t even pretend it didn’t, he felt more embarrassed and shamed that his friends had bared witness to it more than anything.  There was a hardness in his heart that hadn’t been there before but really, they had only dated for a couple months.  Hajime thought Mitsuaki was clever and handsome, but if Mitsuaki had decided to break up with Hajime he would have gotten over it. _

 

_ Except it wasn’t just a break up.  Mitsuaki was cheating on him with his team leader, who now clearly wanted him off the team.  Hajime could do everything right, could apply himself fully and pass every test but it really came down to Ayumu if he was going to be apart of the team or not. _

 

_ Hajime rubbed at his face, suddenly feeling the extra training and lack of sleep catch up with him all at once.  He felt tired down to his very core.  Hajime had worked so hard for this, for his future and now it seemed to be crumbling around him in a very public way. _

  
  
  
  


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Hajime walks back to his parents house instead of taking the bus from the train station.  Physical therapy is more about trying to relearn how to do everything with his left hand and getting his body back into healthy shape after too long of not taking proper care of himself.  His body aches and he’s unbelievably frustrated so he uses the 25 minute walk from the train station to his parents home to cool down and not let his parents know just how lost he feels.

 

Hajime’s phone vibrates from his kit bag and he fumbles a bit as he tries to open it up while continuing walking.  His movements are clumsy and awkward but he manages to pull out his phone with a bit more effort and seeing the name across the screen makes him smile.

 

Getting texts and calls from his former team mates was equal parts painful and heartening.  He wanted to be there with them, not just trying to work through Kentarou’s trust issues and anger problems through the phone.  He wanted to go on patrols with Issei, have a quick meal in the canteen with Takahiro, and train with Tooru.

 

Takahiro sent Hajime a picture, which could be really anything and Hajime has only learned not to open anything Takahiro sends him in public.  The street is empty so Hajime clicks on the picture and lets it download, smiling down when it comes into view.  Kentarou is holding a creature the size of a full grown Saint Bernard except the creature is pitch-black with a skin texture that resembles lava-rocks and two heads that resemble foxes with a nub for a tail.  The creature is drooling over Kentarou’s shoulder, curling closer to the man who is trying his best to keep his scowl in place but he looks too damn pleased to pull it off.

 

Kentarou’s the best at handling magical creatures, whether it has something to do with him personally or the fact he’s a werewolf doesn’t matter much to Hajime, just the fact that he can somehow communicate with them.  Kentarou once told him it was less to do with spoken language and more to do with body language.  The creature was native to the deserts of Africa and someone had smuggled him into Japan, not realizing that they grew to the size of a car.  The one Kentarou was holding was only a baby.

 

The next picture was Tooru covered in the gray-red drool and looking furious as Takahiro put himself in the frame, looking expressionless as he tossed up a peace sign.  Takahiro also mentioned helpfully that the drool smelled awful.

 

Hajime worried about his team because no matter that he wasn’t actually on it anymore, it was still his team, it would always be his team.  He was worried no one would be there to make sure Tooru didn’t work himself into the ground and that Issei and Takahiro would follow.  Too many people bought into Issei and Takahiro’s impassive facades, which Hajime thought was foolish.  Neither of them went to the Academy yet still were put on a top ranked Agency team.  They were regulars on a national volleyball team and even managed to get sports scholarships to universities.  They worked the same long, hard hours Tooru did so their leader would never be alone, never be forced to shoulder all of the responsibility.

 

Hajime also worried about their juniors.  Tooru was good at seeing the potential in people but he had a habit of dismissing those who didn’t show that potential.  Tooru had taken a high ranking Agency team and made it one of the best, there was no denying his leadership skills but he pushed people.  When it came to people like Yahaba Shigeru and Kunimi Akira, or even Hajime himself, that type of pushing worked rather well on them.  But for people like Kyoutani Kentarou and Kindaichi Yuutarou it sometimes backed them into corners.  Kentarou was prone to lashing out and Yuutarou would always withdraw into himself.  Hajime and Tooru had always balanced each other out.

 

Kentarou didn’t speak of it much, or at all really, but from the fragments he has grunted out and seeing his file, Hajime knew that Kentarou had an exceptionally happy childhood.  There are born werewolves and made werewolves, Kentarou was born and they tended to be far and few in-between, so he had been cherished when he was a child.  Born werewolves tended to be fiercely loyal and protective, there had been a fire at a factory near where Kentarou lived.  His parents had known most of the people in the factory, had run in repeatedly to pull their friends and neighbors out.  The building had collapsed on them and Kentarou had been shipped off to an uncle who did not see his nephew as a child but as a soldier in training.  Suffice to say, Kentarou did not respond well to Tooru’s constant meddling and orders.

 

Poor Yuutarou was just a rather nervous, anxious person.  Given time and encouragement he’ll become a great Agency member, but his confidence just wasn’t there yet.  Tooru was likely to put far too much pressure on their junior, tell Yuutarou of his potential greatness instead of letting him fall short sometimes.

 

“Hello  _ mon petit _ boyfriend.”  Takahiro answered on the first ring.  Takahiro knew about seven languages fluently.  Hajime wasn’t sure which one those words came from, his own English was spotty at best and he could swear quite well in Mandarin, but usually it was some kind of cutesy endearing thing.

 

“Gross,” Hajime was grinning as he said it.  “Make sure Asskawa showers, that stuff could be acidic or give him a bad reaction.”  He could hear Tooru whining in the background and the whine only increased in volume when Takahiro repeated Hajime’s orders.

 

“He said thank you.”  Takahiro said to which Hajime snorted.  Hajime couldn’t make out Tooru’s words but he was pretty sure ‘thank you’ was not present in any of the high-pitched whining.

 

“How did your session go?”  Issei’s voice, deeper and quieter than Takahiro’s, came over the phone.  Hajime could hear Takahiro directing their juniors in the background, reassuring Kentarou that he would call around to see if they could return the creature to its natural homeland.

 

“Good.”  Hajime answered though he wasn’t quite sure if that was right.  It was exhausting and left him feeling strangely hollow each time, but he pushed those feelings away.  “Is everything all set for this weekend?”  Hajime couldn’t help but ask, he was worried the plans would fall through.

 

Datekou was back as a team with their new leader Futakuchi Kenji, replacing Moniwa Kaname who had died in the same battle as Daichi.  Several of the field teams most senior members had retired, which had left a large gap of power in the team.  Hajime wasn’t sure how the ever sarcastic Futakuchi Kenji could replace Kaname, but the former leader had faith in his juniors.

 

Most of Karasuno had returned to the Agency also, all except for Sugawara Koushi.  Hajime wasn’t sure how well they were faring with Azumane Asahi as their stand-in leader, but from what he heard they were mostly handling all the smaller jobs and helping various other teams out with the bigger ones.

 

All that meant that the members of Aoba Johsai were finally allowed some time off.  Not all at once, of course, and they weren’t permitted to leave Tokyo so Hajime had to go to them.  Friday would be spent with Tooru while Saturday was with Issei and Takahiro.  All three Agency members had to be on-call Sunday, but they were going to hang out all together until they got called in.

 

Hajime was looking forward to it more than he would ever willingly admit.

 

“Hmm,” Issei’s voice was soft in his ear, and just the sound of it had Hajime releasing some of the tension he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.  “Tooru is going to pick you up from the station Friday at 8.”

 

“That’s unnecessary.”  Hajime said instantly though he couldn’t quite hide the underlying fondness in his voice.

 

“He has activities planned, like this is his first time having a friend over, it’s very adorable.”  Issei continued on, tone bland except for the small smile Hajime could detect.  “He has it all planned out to the hour.”

 

“I’m going to take a later train.”  Hajime grinned as Issei laughed.

 

“What did he say?”  Takahiro’s voice was in the background but close by.  Issei repeated what they had been talking about, causing Takahiro to laugh.  “That’s not very nice Hajime.”  Hajime felt ridiculously warm all over just from a short conversation and the use of his given name.

 

“We should go.”  Issei sounded hesitant, which wasn’t something Hajime was use to, so he cleared his throat and stared up at the cloudless sky, preparing to put himself out there to put Issei at ease from whatever he was feeling.

 

“I’ll see you this weekend, I love you.”  Hajime’s voice came out gruffer than he meant to but he really couldn’t help it.  He had always been better with actions than words, but right now all he had was words to comfort Issei.  They said their goodbyes, Takahiro pressing his mouth against the phone to make disgusting kissy-noises that had them all laughing before Hajime hung up.

 

Hajime enters his parents house a few minutes later, glancing through the kitchen door to see his mother and father sitting out on the back deck.  They look like they are having a serious discussion, and Hajime guesses it’s most likely about him, and they would immediately stop talking and force cheer the moment he called out to them so he opted out of that awkwardness and headed upstairs to take a shower.

 

Hajime showers quickly, not wanting to look at himself for too long.  He’s lost a bit of muscle, he knows it is because he’s not taking good care of himself.  He tells himself he’ll start running again the next day but he knows it for the lie it is.  He always seems to be so tired that just the thought of exercising has him curling up in bed and sleeping.  He doesn’t understand it, doesn’t fight too hard against it.  He’s always been an active person and it’s only been two months since the incident that took his arm, he’ll get back into the swing of things eventually.

 

“Mom?  Where’s dad?”  Hajime asks as he walks into the kitchen, pulling the towel he had been using to scrub at his wet hair down around his neck.  His mother startles badly and turns to him with a brittle-looking smile.

 

“He just went to pick up dinner.”  Her eyes are red and Hajime steps closer.

 

“What’s wrong?”  Hajime asks, trying to get his mother to meet his eyes.

 

“It’s nothing for you to worry about.”  She tries to brush it away but Hajime keeps at it, reaching out to rub her back.  “We’re- your father and I, we’re just having a couple problems, but it’s going to be fine.”

 

“Mom,” Hajime sounds a little exasperated, even to his own ears but having people, his own parents, walk on eggshells around him is getting old fast.

 

“New management has overtaken your father's company and they said- it’s so ridiculous, but they said they have found some negative information on your dad and he’s suspended without pay until they complete an investigate.”  His mother tries to use anger to cover up her real emotion, the same with Hajime does, but he can tell how scared she is.  “He’ll be cleared, of course he will but it’s just come at a very bad time.”

 

“Something else has happened?”  Hajime has noticed the slight strain on his parents but he thought it was his own doing.  He feels horribly selfish for assuming such a thing now.

 

“All our accounts with the bank- we think maybe someone's stolen our identity because most of the money is gone and the rest is frozen.”  Hajime’s mother takes a deep, calming breath before patting Hajime’s shoulder.  “We’ll get it all figured out, of course we will, but it’s a bit stressful right now.”

 

“If you need money-”

 

“Hajime no-”

 

“Mom, if you need money to pay for the house or anything else I have some saved up.”  Hajime says more forcefully.  His mother looks like she’s going to stubbornly reject it but they must be in a more dire situation than she’s letting on because she crumbles quickly.

 

“Thank you,” She pats his cheek softly, sighing at the scruff she finds there.  “Can you take the trash out for me?”  Hajime nods, grabbing the bag that she’s already tied up but something's niggling at the back of his mind and he turns to look at his mother again.

 

“Who is this new management?”  Hajime asks and watches his mother squirm for a moment, which is not something he’s seen her do.  “Mom.”

 

“Matsukawa Industries.”  Hajime stiffens at the name, at the reminder.  “Don’t worry about it, please Hajime.”

 

“How long have your accounts been frozen?”  Hajime asks, voice strained as fear grips his heart.

 

“About a month now, right before you came home.”  Hajime turns to take out the trash, feeling numb from the inside out.  His phone vibrates from within the pocket of his ratty sweatpants.

 

“Iwaizumi.”  Hajime answers automatically.

 

“Hello Iwaizumi Hajime, this is Takahashi Haruto, how are your parents doing?”  A deceptively soft voice asked as the trash bag slipped through Hajime’s suddenly loose grip.

  
  
  
  


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_ Iwaizumi Hajime is not used to feeling like a fool.  Feeling downtrodden, upset, angry, frustrated, and several other emotions along the same line, yes but foolish?  No.  It’s a new one and he’s not really enjoying the barrage of negative emotions that come along with it. _

 

_ It had been an ordinary Tuesday afternoon but a dark feeling had been chewing away at Hajime for a while now since the two month mark loomed in front of him.  If he was being perfectly honest with himself, which he tried always to be, he had been worrying about the two month mark since practically day one. _

 

_ Hajime did not have a lot of dating experience but the experience he did have was not exactly positive.  They all had one thing in common though, around the two month mark of the relationship everything tended to fall to pieces.  He felt it was his fault though he had no control over his libido, and he knew the logical thing, the adult thing to do was just to talk it out with his partners. _

 

_ Hajime was terrified, which was another new emotion he was not used to and therefore had no coping mechanisms to deal with it.  His previous relationships had ended poorly and that had hurt, especially since they all made it out to be his fault.  His fault for not being involved enough, not showing enough interest, not being sexually active, not liking them enough.  It had hurt but he had moved on but then he had always been half in-love with two other people. _

 

_ Hajime wasn’t sure if he could just move on if Takahiro and Issei decided they didn’t want anything to do with him, if they said the same things his previous significant others had said or implied about him.  He was already hopelessly in love with them, had been for years since they were teenagers.  Hajime was still having a hard time believing they wanted him the same way he wanted them. _

 

_ Issei and Takahiro were sexually active, Hajime knew that much.  They tossed around jokes about it but also Hajime had seen it with his own eyes, accidentally walking into their office almost two years back late at night.  They had been patient with Hajime, never pushing or asking for more than what Hajime was willing to give but past experience made Hajime realize it was only a matter of time. _

 

_ The growing dread and fear had gnawed on Hajime’s conscious until he was a mess.  Daichi had found him in the locker room, on the verge of a panic attack, and Hajime had spilled everything in the most embarrassing, terrifying way.  Daichi had listened with the same quiet intensity he did everything with, focusing on Hajime’s words though it had to be hard to understand since he had been reduced to rambling like the half-crazed person he was.  Daichi then had asked Hajime if he had any plans for dinner and that’s how Hajime ended up waiting for Daichi at their favorite ramen shop down the street from the Agency. _

 

_ Daichi had told Hajime he had to finish up some paperwork and he’d meet Hajime there, so Hajime sat alone nursing his drink and waiting for his friend feeling foolish and afraid. _

 

_ Hajime wanted the relationship with Issei and Takahiro to work out more than he had wanted almost anything else.  He had never even dared hoped that they would want him, never even allowed himself to daydream about it.  Friendship had always been enough to Hajime, he had been content that they were together and that they made each other happy.  But it felt like the relationship was like having sand in his hands, felt it slipping through the cracks and escaping from him as he fumbled with it. _

 

_ Hajime had just assumed that sexual attraction would follow after dating someone.  He knew how he felt about Issei and Takahiro, knew the love he had for them was completely different than the love he had for Tooru or his juniors on Aoba Johsai.  But he was starting to regret entering a relationship with them and that made him feel even worse.  Now that he knew what it felt like to be with them, to hold their hands and curl up on a too-small couch and go on stupid breakfast dates with them.  He now knew that Issei was a cuddler and Takahiro hoarded all pillows during the night.  Hajime knew now that Takahiro kissed with his whole being, enthusiastic and a little aggressive, pressing close and hands anchoring to shoulders and hips.  He knew Issei kissed slowly, barely there press of the lips that built into something warm and achingly lovely, fingers caressing skin lightly and burying in hair. _

 

_ Hajime didn’t know how he would go back after learning all of that plus so much more but he was terrified he would soon have to. _

  
  
  
  


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Hajime sat on the edge of the stiff bed feeling like shit.  He had been feeling that way since he arrived to this forsaken city.  Logically he knew that assessment wasn’t fair, at any other time he would have jumped at the opportunity to come to London but he could see no good in it now.  It was loud all the time, never stopping, never letting him rest.  The air was thick and suffocating.  Hajime had thought he had a good grasp on English but the people here spoke so quickly and angered when he asked them to repeat themselves that he finally stopped trying to communicate.

 

Hajime felt even worse because he knew,  _ he knew _ that so many other people would give anything for the same opportunity he had and he hated himself for that.

 

Everything had been set up for him.  Hajime hadn’t explained anything to his former teammates, just left like a bandit in the middle of the night, like the coward he always claimed not to be.  He had left his phone behind like a true coward too, opting to email his parents roughly every other week.  Not being able to figure out how to switch the computers at the library over to Japanese meant he could keep the emails short in English, full of lies about how well he was doing.

 

Hajime wasn’t doing well.  The English Med Mages had stopped trying to communicate with him after the first week, using the translator provided for him who’s Japanese wasn’t much better than Hajime’s English.  They had to shave off the newly formed skin and bone on his arm, needing an open wound to adhere the clay limb too.  They had to remove it three times before it bonded properly to his bicep.  The translator had told Hajime he wasn’t allowed any type of medication or magic to take away the pain for it could interfere with the new arm itself.

 

It meant Hajime was in constant, near-screaming pain.  He barely slept and when he did it was a restless sleep, full of tossing and turning and waking up constantly.  His body could not decide if it was blistering hot or freezing cold, sweat constantly was covering every inch of his now pallid skin.

 

The flat was miniscule, the walls dingy and the carpets stained.  The stove never worked and the shower only ran hot water for a total of three minutes a day.  Not that it mattered, Hajime hardly ate, never really had an appetite and he wasn’t allowed to get the new arm wet.  It was too difficult to shower, too tiring so Hajime stopped doing that.

 

Hajime kept telling himself that the next day would be better.  The pain would be less, the city wouldn’t feel like it was suffocating him anymore, he would be able to sleep and eat again.  That day never came though, a month- perhaps more or less, Hajime had stopped paying attention to anything like that, and he just felt worse every day.

 

There was one reprieve he allowed himself.  He fumbled with the off-white phone, accepting the overseas payment as the phone rang and rang.  Whenever he was feeling worse than the day before, which was getting more frequently now, he called that same number, waiting for the voicemail to click on.  The person never picked up.

 

Hajime spilled everything.  How much pain he was in, the hated dreary weather of the city, how he was a coward, and more.  How, deep down inside, he was horribly saddened that his best friend never came for him.  Hajime had always been there for him, and Hajime knew he had messed up this time, hurt so many people but it had always been Hajime and Tooru against the world.  Hajime always forgave Tooru when he lashed out, so why hadn’t Tooru hunted him down?  Forced him to explain himself?

 

“I’m sorry Sawamura,” Hajime breathed out, sinking down to the floor, huddled into himself.  “Can’t even get any peace when you die.”  He felt horribly selfish, using Daichi’s number like that, knowing that the man was no longer around to listen to the messages.  That no one would ever hear the dozen or so messages Hajime has half-sobbed out.

 

Hajime had made his choice.  He had chosen his parents over Issei and he wouldn’t put Takahiro or Tooru in the middle of that.  Issei deserved Takahiro and Tooru, and Hajime felt like he didn’t deserve any of them, not after what he had done.  Accepted the Matsukawa’s deal of breaking things off with Issei and Takahiro in order to save his father's job, his parents house.  They hadn’t wanted him to simply break up with them though, they wanted the relationship destroyed.  So Hajime had destroyed it and now he had to live with the consequences.

 

Hajime hung up the phone and curled up on the floor, too exhausted and in too much pain to crawl back up onto the lumpy, hard and lonely bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much f!or the support on this story!! I can't really tell you all how much it really means to me!
> 
> Also it's super hard to write angst for a whole two chapters?? I'm much more a fluffy writer with tiny bits of angst thrown in every once and a while. I just want everyone to be happy!


	3. The Good

_ Hajime walks home from a game of streetball.  A couple local kids get together every Tuesday during the summer to play and it’s far too hot to play for long but they all recognize that their time is running short together, all of them separating to different high schools where they will make new friends and Tuesday games will fall short to homework, after school clubs and activities, and various parties or get togethers.  They are all stuck in the strange limbo of being not middle schoolers anymore but not yet high schoolers and they are holding onto the last vestiges of childhood. _

 

_ Hajime bounces the basketball and thinks of the nice cool shower he is going to take the second he gets home.  There’s freshly made juice cooling in the refrigerator too and his mom had promised a BBQ for dinner.  All in all it was a good day, stifling hot but good. _

 

_ Tooru is sitting on the bottom step leading up to Hajime’s front porch, he has a hand full of letters and a dejected look on his face.  Hajime weighs the basketball in his hand, debating throwing it to wipe the dumb look off his best friend's face but ultimately decides against it.  A basketball could do a lot of damage and his mom would ground him for a year if he broke a window or Tooru’s nose. _

 

_ “Got some more confession letters?”  Hajime calls out as he opens the gate leading into his parents front lawn.  He knows they aren’t confession letters, they are too plain looking.  Hajime has always, silently, admired people who plucked up the courage to write someone a confession letter, especially to someone as shitty as Oikawa Tooru. _

 

_ “No.”  Tooru’s eyes met Hajime’s, far too much intensity for a regular 14 year old to have brimming within the dark brown irises.  Something flickers, something black and a little ancient and mostly unknown to both of them before Tooru quickly drops his gaze and takes a couple deep breaths.  It’s been happening more often, Tooru losing control to his demon part.  They’ve tried to do research on their own but most of it is baseless information, not helpful in the least.  Tooru is learning to hide himself behind too wide smiles and false cheer, which worries Hajime more than the glimpses of something  _ other _ peeking out from behind his friends eyes. _

 

_ Hajime bounces the basketball off the top of Tooru’s head once he see’s that brittle smile slip into place.  Tooru whines, rubbing his head but Hajime hadn’t dropped it from that far and a punch would have felt the same. _

 

_ “Why do those letters have my name on them Trashykawa?”  Hajime asks though he knows why.  Tooru has been stealing all his high school letters since the beginning of summer, he’s just not sure exactly the motive behind the actions. _

 

_ “You never told me you were applying to other high schools.”  Tooru evades, fingers tightening on the letters, all of them opened.  Hajime can see a couple acceptances on them, feels a swell of pride for it though it’s not like it matters much. _

 

_ “It would be stupid to just apply to one place.”  Hajime strides into his house, kicking off his shoes and stretching out his toes, noting how his parents aren’t going to be happy that he has already outgrown the shoes they bought him just two months ago.  His parents had urged him to apply to a couple other schools and Hajime had done to it appease them, not that he was going to tell the snoop Oikawa Tooru about that. _

 

_ “I thought you did well on the test.”  Tooru hounds Hajime’s steps to the kitchen, where Hajime grabs two glasses to pour juice into. _

 

_ “I did.”  Hajime slides a glass over to Tooru before downing his own.  “Still doesn’t explain why you have my mail.” _

 

_ “My parents wanted to throw me a party for being accepted, but I wanted to- I thought it’d be funny if you came to the party thinking it was just for me but it really would be for both of us, I wanted to get the letter before you did but all I got was these!”  Tooru waved the letters in Hajime’s face, as if this was someone all Hajime’s fault.  Which Hajime guessed it sort of was, Tooru had tried to mess with him and Hajime had, for once, been one step ahead. _

 

_ “All those schools wanted me?  That’s pretty cool.”  Hajime grabs the letters, flipping through them as he makes his way upstairs.  He was glad the aircon was on but the sweat had dried on his skin and was making him itchy, he needed a shower but Tooru wouldn’t leave him in peace until he got what he wanted. _

 

_ “They aren’t our school!”  Tooru yelled, voice cracking and Hajime threw an amused look over his shoulder.  Tooru had given Hajime such shit when Hajime had gone through puberty, it was only karma that Tooru was having a hard time of it now.  “And you didn’t tell me about them, I could have- I would have done research or applied to them, do you not even want to go to the Academy anymore?” _

 

_ “What are you going on about?”  Hajime tossed down the letters on his desk. _

 

_ “Our plan- what is that?”  Tooru stopped his rampage as he stared at a spot right behind Hajime, who had stopped in front of his closet with his arms crossed purposefully. _

 

_ “Looks like a school uniform Trashykawa.”  Hajime smirked, feeling far more satisfied than he should. _

 

_ “But that’s- that’s our- you got in?”  Tooru’s arms hung loose by his side, mouth slack as he stared at the uniform behind Hajime.  It was not great, though Tooru had said it’d look great on himself but Hajime was too much of a brute to pull it off.  His mother lamented about how difficult it was going to be to keep the white jacket clean. _

 

_ “You doubted me?”  Hajime launched himself forward, pulling his surprised best friend into a headlock.  They tussled for a moment, Tooru crying out about how Hajime smelled bad so Hajime pulled his sweaty shirt over his friend's head. _

 

_ “I can’t breath!”  Tooru yelled, clawing for freedom. _

 

_ “Admit defeat!” _

 

_ “You’re the worst!” _

 

_ “I’m going to rub my armpit on your hair!” _

 

_ “No Iwa!  I’m sorry!  I’ll never get the smell out!” _

 

_ They get scolded for roughhousing and for the foot-sized dent in Hajime’s wall.  Tooru apologizes and then promptly tells on Hajime for the ‘mean prank’ he had pulled on him.  Hajime punches Tooru solidly in the space between his shoulder blades once his mom leaves his room, Tooru flushes the toilet while Hajime is in the shower, and Hajime tells Tooru he better sleep with one eye open. _

 

_ All in all it’s a good day.  Hajime’s mom ends up framing the foot-dent in the wall, labeling it underneath Hajime’s acceptance into a top tier high school.  His parents think they are hilarious and Hajime can’t help the proud grin whenever he glances at the framed dent. _

 

 

 

 

\------------------

 

 

 

 

Treatment days are the worst for Hajime.  They are horribly painful, like having his arm broken and cut off repeatedly through a three hour sessions every Thursday at ten in the morning.  He’s not allowed to eat anything eight hours beforehand, which is for the best because he’s pretty sure the only thing keeping him from vomiting is the fact that there’s nothing in his rebelling stomach to toss back up to him.  Hajime is also sure that if he did throw up the heaviness in his head would finally overtake him and he’d pass out.

 

None of that sounds like anything Hajime would want to experience so he leans against the hallway, right before the bend that takes him to his room, and tries to quell his stomach.  He feels awful but Hajime has gone through this before.  The sickness will edge away and make way for the burning ache that originates in his bicep and spreads to his shoulder and chest.  He can look forward to cold sweats, dry heaving, and-

 

Hallucinations?  No, that’s a new one.  But there’s no other excuse for Hajime to be seeing Oikawa Tooru leaning against his apartment door with two large suitcases next to him, tapping away angrily at his phone.

 

“Tooru?”  Hajime asked because he had to be sure, his voice was raspy with disuse.  Tooru’s head snapped up, his thick framed glasses having slid down the length of his nose as he peered over the frames at Hajime.  There were dark circles under Tooru’s eyes and the gray oversized sweater was something Hajime hadn’t seen since their Academy days.

 

Tooru was looking Hajime up and down, his mouth pressing into a thin line as he straightened up to his full height.

 

“Does your shower not work Iwa?”  Tooru asked, eyebrows raised regally as he pressed his glasses further up his nose and slipped his phone into his pocket.

 

“Not really.”  Hajime answered honestly, suddenly feeling the layer of sweat and grime on himself.  There’s no time for more quips as Hajime presses his hand to his mouth, leans over, and orders himself not to throw up.  His stomach clenches painfully tight and Hajime gasps, biting into the soft part of his palm to stop the whimper from coming out.

 

Tooru manages to get Hajime’s keys out of his pocket and has them inside the flat within a minute.

 

“You shouldn’t leave your stuff in the hall.”  Hajime almost smiles at the exasperated noise Tooru makes, can’t help mothering his friend a little even though he physically feels like shit because it feels like a heavy burden has been lifted off his shoulders.  His mind feels a bit clearer and even though he’s embarrassed about his appearance and lackluster flat, he feels a sense of elation at just having Oikawa Tooru there, with him.

 

“This is not a very nice neighborhood Hajime.”  Tooru complains as he locks the door that has a long crack down the middle.

 

“No it’s not.”  Hajime agrees as he settles down on the hard bed, right arm immobilized against his chest in a sling.

 

“Good thing we’re not very nice people, hmm?”  Tooru puts his hands on his hips, looking for all the world despite the baggy clothes and dark circles under his eyes, like a model on their free-day.  There’s something sharp in his gaze though, a darkness that edges around the too wide smile.  “You look like you’re going to pass out.”

 

“I might.”  Hajime answers honestly once more, too shocked at actually having Tooru here with him, in London to snark back at the other man.  “You caught me on an off day.”  Okay, maybe he’s not too shocked to snark a little.

 

“Looks like it’s been more than just one day.”  Tooru’s brows furrow.

 

“How did you manage to get time off from the Agency?”  Hajime asks, edging away from the conversation he knew they had to have, but he was too vulnerable right then to have it.

 

“Fuck the Agency.”  Tooru growled out, surprising Hajime not just by the words but the fact that Tooru really doesn’t swear all that often.  “They’ll give me my days off and hold my spot for me until I get back.”  He says with the sort of confident attitude that usually has Hajime hitting him for, even if they both know it’s true.  Oikawa Tooru might not be the genius that Ushijima Wakatoshi or Kageyama Tobio are, but he’s clawed his way to where he is through hard work and absolute dedication.  The Agency knew that, recognized it, and they would probably go to great lengths to keep him with them, even if that meant an extended vacation.

 

Hajime does pass out after that.  It’s only for a couple minutes, long enough to wake up mostly undressed with Tooru wiping him down with quick efficiency.  Hajime tries to swipe at Tooru but gives it up as the lost cause he knows it is.  He probably should be embarrassed, this is the lowest Hajime has ever fallen, but it’s been over 20 years since they met for the first time and there’s really not much either of them hasn’t seen of the other.

 

“Your shower really doesn’t work.”  Tooru grunts as he helps Hajime into some of the clothes he had brought, since he deems Hajime’s clothes disgusting and dirty, which they admittedly are.

 

“Why the fuck would I lie about something like that?”  Hajime growls out, feeling a little more like a person as Tooru scrubs hard at his hair in retaliation.  “Your bedside manner is shit.”

 

“You can shut up at anytime now.”  Tooru grimaces at the bed before standing up to look around the apartment, which is bare boned, dim, and nothing really much to look at.  “What is that?”

 

“I don’t know but it’s growing.”  They both stared up at the dark, wet-looking stain in the corner of the flat.  “Don’t look directly at it, you’ll anger it.”

 

“Hajime.”  Tooru tries to glare at him but ends up laughing, it’s a slightly choked sounding laugh but a laugh all the same.  “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”  Hajime shakes his head but Tooru is crawling over him to lay down on the uncomfortable bed next to him, like they are little kids again instead of the nearly 30 year olds they are.

 

“How?”  Hajime asked, not knowing how to voice the real question but Tooru understood.

 

“I overheard them talking about clearing out Sawamura’s office, the others refused to do it.”  Tooru flips over onto his back, staring up at the dim ceiling.  “I knew they’d just toss the stuff out, so I thought I’d box everything up, let them go through it when they were ready.”  Hajime knows ‘them’ meant Sugawara Koushi but neither of them point that out.

 

“What does- oh- the answering machine.”  Hajime feels shame burn deep in his gut.

 

“I didn’t listen to all of it!”  Tooru turns back towards Hajime.  “Just enough- just a minute or  so, I thought you wanted time.  If I had known-”

 

“It’s not like I told anyone, not like you had anyway of knowing.”  Hajime feels guilt added onto the shame.

 

“I missed you.”  Tooru admitted after the silence had stretched on for several moments, both of them lost inside their own heads.  Hajime felt like he could actually sleep, despite the pain and the aches.  Hajime grunted in agreement, not able to say the words out loud but they both knew what he meant.

 

“Sappy,” Hajime mumbled as he slowly began to fall asleep, listening to Tooru’s soft breathing and feeling the heat of his body so close.

 

“Mean.”  Tooru said quietly but there was no real heat behind the word, there never was, not between the two of them.

 

 

 

 

\-----------------------

 

 

 

 

_ Hajime sat on the roof of the school, his notebook open in his lap, book perched on his knee and unopened bento by his side.  Technically students weren’t allowed up on the roof and technically they locked the door to keep the more adventurous students away, but also technically the lock seemed to be broken and if a person, say one harassed Iwaizumi Hajime, shook the knob a little the lock would slide out of place. _

 

_ Hajime told himself it was alright if he broke this one single rule just to be able to have a quiet space to work during lunch.  He had made friends with several of the guys on the volleyball club and he had been running short on excuses not to spend lunch practicing in the free gym.  He couldn’t very well tell them he was close to flunking out of school, hanging on by a thread.  So Hajime thought if they couldn’t find him then they couldn’t ask him. _

 

_ It didn’t help that Hajime wanted to practice with them, it was much better than trying to shove several hundred years worth of political and economical history into his mind.  It had taken months but Hajime had finally found his stride amongst the volleyball club.  He wasn’t close to starting, but he had found his way into one day being on the starting roster.  He had admitted it was unlikely he was to grow much taller, but he still had strength and speed on his side, and he was working on his endurance.  He was also getting along a lot better with the guys on B-team. _

 

_ Hajime’s knee jerks as he flips through the workbook to realize he’s gotten the answer wrong, again.  It pisses him off and he bites out a couple swear words he’s learned from the older boys on the team. _

 

_ “Imaginative, but I’m not sure how you would do that with a book.  I guess you could cut a hole in it.”  Hajime’s head snaps up making him cringe at the sharp crack.  He rolls his shoulders as he glares over at Issei, leaning against the door with the broken lock as he surveys the empty rooftop. _

 

_ “Oikawa isn’t here.”  Hajime grunts out, trying to ignore how his back aches from being bent over his work for so long, but now that he’s acknowledged the discomfort he can’t shove it to the back of his mind anymore.  He shifts, working himself through a couple stretches as he eyes Issei warily. _

 

_ “I know that, our fearless leader has been dumped again and he’s whining for you and your bara arms to-” Hajime throws his pencil at Issei, who catches it with a sly smirk before strolling his way over to Hajime.  Honestly Hajime thinks it’s a little unfair that Matsukawa Issei doesn’t seem to suffer from the awkwardness that mostly everyone in their year does.  That odd spot of growing bodies and explosive hormones.  Hajime is starting to grow hair everywhere and even perfect Oikawa Tooru suffers from breakouts on his forehead. _

 

_ “Unbelievable.”  Hajime just shakes his head and goes back to his work, snatching his pencil back from Issei without looking.  He knew it was only a matter of time before his little sanctuary was invaded, but he hadn’t thought it would be overtaken by Matsukawa freaking Issei. _

 

_ “You’re confusing centuries.”  Hajime looks down at what he’s written and sure enough, Issei is right and he’s forced to erase his answer yet again.  “This is from Qin Dynasty which is-” _

 

_ “Fucking history, what the fuck-” Hajime wants to toss his school work off the side of the roof, which is maybe why the roof is off-limits to students.  “Is it too late to become a vagabond?” _

 

_ “It’s never too late to become a vagabond.”  Issei answers stoically but with a sharp glance at him, Hajime can tell the other boy is amused.  It’s something in the soft curve of his mouth, though he looks as passive as ever.  “Where is your first destination?” _

 

_ “Off this rooftop.”  Hajime snapped back, hunching further over his homework so he won’t have to see the barest hint of a smile on Issei’s, admittedly handsome, face. _

 

_ “Bit extreme but I’ve never been one to get in the way of someone’s dream.”  Issei stretched out his stupidly long legs before leaning over a bit, towards Hajime.  He wasn’t in Hajime’s space, but he was closer than Hajime could ever recall the other boy being.  “Want some advice?” _

 

_ “If that advice involves the proper landing technique after jumping off a three story building than you can fuck right off.”  Hajime is almost surprised that there’s no real bite in his tone and a single glance at Issei reveals that the other boy had noticed it too.  “Go ahead, can’t make anything worse than it is.” _

 

_ “Is that a challenge?”  Issei asks, eyebrow quirked upwards in an impressive display of facial muscle movement.  Hajime makes a grand motion towards the edge of the roof and a slow smile overtakes Issei’s face.  It’s the first time Hajime’s seen Issei smile, not smirk or grin, but an actual real smile.  It makes Issei look boyish of all things, makes something twist uncomfortably in Hajime’s gut.  “You’re spreading yourself too thin, you’re trying to memorize everything at once instead of taking it one era at a time.” _

 

_ “That’s how the workbook is laid out.”  Hajime says, sharp tone gone with surprise at how close Issei had hit to Hajime’s real problem. _

 

_ “If you answer the questions like this-” Issei slides the pencil out of Hajime’s suddenly loose grip and re-numbers the questions.  “It goes in chronological order.  The entire workbook is set up like that, if you see the pattern it makes it easier.”  Issei shrugs, handing the pencil back over.  Hajime stares down at the questions, going over them in the new order. _

 

_ It doesn’t mean Hajime instantly understands everything.  He struggles for a couple minutes while Issei leans back against the wall  and stretches out beside him.  Hajime is surprised that Issei is such a restful companion, quiet when Hajime needs to concentrate and willing to prod and joke when Hajime grumbles out curses. _

 

_ The next day Hajime comes up to the roof to finish his maths homework that he struggled with for two hours the previous night and made zero progress.  He knows he should ask his mom, she’s brilliant at math, but something close to shame and pride mix within his body and he’s not quite willing to risk asking.  Not just yet. _

 

_ Hajime frowns over at Issei leaning against the same spot he occupied the previous day, he’s not really surprised Issei is there, though he hadn’t expected it either.  Hajime sits down, leaving space enough for another person to sit between them.  He doesn’t dislike Issei as much as he did a day ago, but it’s not as if he really likes the other boy either.  Even if Hajime thought a little too much about that one genuine smile. _

 

_ “Got any helpful tips about maths?”  Hajime asks but Issei shakes his head no.  Hajime just shrugs it off and starts in on the impossible-looking problems. _

 

_ “Here.”  Issei is holding out a bento and Hajime raises an eyebrow at the other boy.  “You don’t have a lunch.”  A girl had knocked Hajime’s own bento off the corner of his desk just minutes prior to him coming up to the roof.  The lid hadn’t been put on all the way and his messily made lunch had met with the floor.  The girl had looked close to tears as she apologized and offered to buy him lunch, but Hajime could see she only had enough for her own lunch and he wasn’t about to let her skip out for an accident so he turned down her offer and they cleaned up the mess together. _

 

_ “You just had an extra lunch?”  Hajime took the bento carefully, opening it as if something might jump out from it.  But it’s just a regular lunch, meat and rice and vegetables, but Hajime’s hungry enough to dig in without much fuss. _

 

_ “Haven’t you ever accidentally made two lunches?”  Issei asked, opening his own lunch which has fish instead of meat. _

 

_ “Uh- no.”  Hajime also notes there’s quite a bit of broccoli in his own bento, while Issei’s has none.  Hajime’s favorite vegetable is broccoli. _

 

_ “Weird.”  Issei deadpans as he eats a bite of fish. _

 

_ “How is it that you accidentally make two lunches and I’m the weird one?”  Hajime questions, though he’s mostly sure he’s never going to get a straight answer from Issei. _

 

_ “Haven’t you ever accidentally-” _

 

_ “Fuck off.”  Hajime snaps but he’s trying to bite down a laugh.  He guesses that Matsukawa Issei isn’t the worst person he’s ever met, even if he invaded Hajime’s quiet spot and seems to enjoy messing with Hajime.  Hajime guesses that Issei might even be a good person, but then again his parents always say that the quickest way to win Hajime over is through his stomach. _

 

_ “Am I interrupting?”  Takahiro bursts onto the scene like a sudden cold downpour.  Hajime rolls his eyes before going back to his homework. _

 

_ “Iwaizumi is bad at maths.”  Issei speaks up after he and Takahiro snark back and forth while Hajime struggles with his work.  He makes a disgruntled sound, narrowing his eyes over at Issei who tilts his head, unimpressed. _

 

_ “I’m great at maths,” Takahiro squeezes into the purposely left space between Issei and Hajime.  Hajime is a little glad to see that the lanky boy is all awkward elbows and knees, almost taking out Issei’s eye as he settles and looms over Hajime.  “You could call me the Maths Master.” _

 

_ “Was that suppose to be a joke?”  Hajime asks, nudging Takahiro’s knee away from his bento. _

 

_ “You could call me it, if you want my help.”  Takahiro is grinning, face pressed closed to Hajime’s, eyes serious. _

 

_ “I could but it’s more likely that I’d throw you off this roof.”  Hajime nudges Takahiro’s knee away from his bento again, but it’s as if the other boy has no control over his limbs. _

 

_ “Like you could lift me.”  Takahiro snickered and it sounded like a challenge to Hajime.  Hajime thought he was pretty responsible and mature for his age, but he was still a 15 year old boy who was being challenged by a long limbed spider of a boy. _

 

_ Hajime proves that he can, indeed, lift Takahiro.  It’s a little awkward because the pink-haired boy is so long and doesn’t seem to have any control over even an inch of his body but Hajime picks him up and threatens to toss him off the roof.  Hajime wouldn’t, he doesn’t even get close the edge and Takahiro does not seem threatened at all, if his loud laughter is anything to judge it by.  Takahiro does prove himself to be great at maths though, easily going over each problem several times until Hajime understands them fully. _

 

_ Issei and Hajime let Takahiro eat from their bentos.  Takahiro still sits too close, Issei still acts far too cool for a 15 year old boy, and Hajime still isn’t sure if he likes either of them or their shitty personalities.  But Hajime has to admit it finally feels like he can keep his head above water.  That partly sunny Wednesday afternoon felt like the first breath of fresh air Hajime has had in awhile, but he’s not willing to admit the two boys sitting next to him have anything to do with it. _

 

_ Honestly Hajime isn’t even the least bit surprised when he goes up to the roof and see’s not just Issei and Takahiro there, but Tooru as well.  There wasn’t the slightest doubt in his mind that they would all be up there, sitting against the same wall Hajime had been sitting alone against for the past month.  As he had been gathering his stuff for lunch Hajime had the thought that he should go to the library or maybe behind one of the gyms for a new spot.  But he hadn’t. _

 

_ Hajime tells himself it’s because he’s feeling guilty for not spending enough time with Tooru, who looks tired and drawn and is using a dramatic pout to cover up real hurt.  They are in different classes and Tooru practices with A-team while Hajime practices with B-team.  Hajime had even been spending most lunches alone and he didn’t stay late for extra practices because he always had several hours worth of homework to wade through. _

 

_ There’s a very obvious spot left for Hajime, as if there had been not question that he would show up, no question of his place with them.  It’s between Tooru and Takahiro, with Issei on Takahiro’s far side. _

 

_ Tooru’s collapsed in on himself, knees pulled up to his chest, eyes faraway.  Hajime thinks of the girl Tooru had been dating, nameless and faceless but he thinks she was a starter in the soccer club.  Tooru had believed he found a girl who would understand that a relationship couldn’t come first, but that hadn’t been the case. _

 

_ Hajime sits on Tooru’s free side, purposely not sitting in the spot between Tooru and Takahiro though he’s not even sure what statement he’s making, if he’s making one at all.  Hajime reaches out, wrapping his arm around Tooru’s bony shoulders and pulling him until Tooru’s more or less collapsed against Hajime’s side, face buried in Hajime’s blazer.  Hajime carefully runs his fingers through Tooru’s hair, knowing that it’s a great comfort to the boy who spends hours on his hair. _

 

_ Hajime knows all about rejection, but this is a completely different kind.  There’s a boy in Hajime’s class, tall and lanky who is sarcastic more often than not.  Hajime likes the sharp edge of the boy's smirk and the long curve of his back but if that boy never looked twice at Hajime, he didn’t think it’d matter much to him. _

 

_ Not knowing what to say, how to comfort his best friend, Hajime keeps running his fingers through the soft length of Tooru’s hair.  Hajime catches Issei and Takahiro watching, eyes too curious and too sharp for Hajime’s taste so he narrows his own eyes, a silent threat.  Yet once again Issei and Takahiro don’t do the expected and shift closer to Tooru. _

 

_ “Think about how your fans will react,” Issei doesn’t reach over to touch Tooru like Takahiro does, but his voice alone makes Tooru’s shoulders soften just a fraction. _

 

_ “Yes!  The people at this school are far too polite, you never get any sweets while you’re dating someone and I’ve been forced to buy store bought candies.”  Takahiro whines, rubbing a hand down Tooru’s hunched back. _

 

_ “Mm, think about ‘hiro.”  Issei deadpans. _

 

_ “My delicate growing body needs the love put into homemade sweets by your fans.”  Takahiro agreed. _

 

_ Hajime thinks about smacking them away but Tooru is slowly unfolding himself, allowing the other two to snark and cajole him out of his dark mood.  It turns out Issei also brought along homemade milk bread that day, which finally gets Tooru to sit up fully and hold out his hand expectantly. _

 

_ “Why did you make milk bread?  You don’t even like sweets.”  Tooru munched on the oversweet bread but his eyes were sharp.  The corner of Issei’s mouth ticked up as he leaned back against the wall. _

 

_ “Haven’t you ever accidentally made milk bread before?”  Hajime asked with a huff, pulling out his homework and pretending he doesn’t see the genuine smile Issei shoots him. _

 

_ “That doesn’t make any sense, you’re suppose to get smarter as you get older Iwa, not stupider.”  Hajime smacks Tooru with his notebook without looking.  “Ow!  I’m in a delicate state!” _

 

_ “You’re fine.”  Hajime huffed out before glancing over at his oldest friend to make sure he was fine.  Tooru was pouting but shoving his face full of milkbread, lamenting to Takahiro about the woes of being friends with such a brute. _

 

 

 

 

\----------------------------

 

 

 

 

Hajime wakes to a familiar ache and the sound of a clicking keyboard.  The sound is comforting, the ache less so but he feels like he should complain just for old times sake.

 

“Why?”  Hajime grunts out, remembering at the last moment to only use his left arm to push himself into a sitting position.  The wipe down and clean clothes make him feel marginally better, though nothing can really take away the pain throbbing through his right side but he’s grown use to that so he shoves it away to deal with later.

 

“This place is so depressing,” Tooru answers, glasses perched low on a nose gone shiny with grease.  Hajime thinks that Tooru won’t be able to live without a working shower like Hajime has.  “You don’t even have internet!”

 

“Yeah, that’s the real issue here.”  Hajime glances at the growing dark spot before leaning against the pillow Tooru had propped against the wall.  He cringes when he is forced to readjust his arm in the sling before sliding sideways to lean against Tooru’s side, peering at the screen of Tooru’s laptop.

 

“It is a manageable problem,” Tooru corrects, knocking his head lightly against Hajime’s before clicking through a couple of the open tabs, all of them various flats.  “I’m not about to mess with some English mold that could possibly be alive.”  Hajime thinks that’s for the best though he doesn’t say so.

 

“I can’t afford any of these places.”  Hajime points out, though he knows it's a lesson in futility.  Tokyo had been expensive but Hajime had worked full time, most of the time he worked overtime with holiday pay so he could afford a decent flat.  Hajime didn’t point out the fact that he felt as if he deserved this dank living space, for what he had done to people he loved.

 

“I’m thinking this one, look at the exposed brick.”  Tooru clicks to a nice looking flat with purposely exposed brick, unlike the grungy brick in Hajime’s current flat.  “It has a lot of natural lighting and it’s close to your clinic.”  Hajime doesn’t ask how Tooru knows where his clinic is when just a couple days ago Tooru didn’t even know where Hajime was.

 

“Oikawa-”

 

“It’s a year lease but there’s always a way to break a lease if you need too.”  Tooru scrolls through the listing.  “The move in date is not ideal either, but I’m sure we could fix that.  But what’s important is getting us out of this place, immediately.”

 

“Oikawa your English is no better than mine, everyone talks so fast and they use slang and phrases that don’t even translate- how are you going to get a flat?”  Hajime asked, sitting up straight as Tooru stood up from the bed, surveying the small flat around him.

 

“I’ll ask them to speak slowly and if that doesn’t work I’ll call- we know people who speak better English.”  Tooru shrugs as Hajime feels his stomach drop.  Takahiro is fluent in English but Tooru was avoiding saying his name.  “Don’t argue with me on this.  I’m getting you a new apartment and we’re staying in a hotel in the meantime.”

 

“I can’t-”

 

“Stop!”  Tooru yelled, voice cutting clear across Hajime’s weak protest.  Tooru’s pale hands were clenched into tight fists, knuckles bleached of all color.  “You don’t get to do this Hajime, you don’t get to punish yourself for something that was out of your control! Don’t give me that look, all of us could easily figure out what happened even if Issei’s family hadn’t told him.  Friendships don’t end just because you don’t trust us enough to help you and you don’t get to play judge, jury, and executioner for yourself.”

 

“I didn’t want to put you in the position where you had to choose.”  Hajime thought the words sounded weak even to himself but he had to voice it.

 

“For the record, no one is picking any sides, you’ve just gone and decided that you’ve done this horrible, unforgiving act like every single one of us hasn’t been complete selfish assholes at one point or another in our friendship.”  Tooru ran a hand through his hair, yanking slightly when his fingers caught on tangles.  “But say down the line I do have to pick sides it’s you, it’s always going to be you without question or fail Iwaizumi Hajime, I will always choose you.”

 

“Sappy,” Hajime cleared his throat and ducked his head, feeling heat in his eyes caused by a sudden rush of sheer relief.

 

“Also while we’re at it, trying to save your family from destitution and ruin by sacrificing your own happiness is so unbelievably selfless it makes me sick, did you not learn anything from what happened to Sawamura?”  Tooru was kneeling in front of Hajime, refusing to let Hajime look away from him.  “We are a team, you don’t get to go off and sacrifice yourself okay?  That makes no one happy.”

 

“You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.”  Hajime rubbed at his nose, feeling suddenly exhausted again.

 

“We’re going to a hotel and getting you a proper shower and then you’re going to lay down in a bed that doesn’t feel like plywood and you’re going to get some real sleep.”  Tooru leant up, pressing his forehead to Hajime’s with a soft sigh.  “I missed you Hajime, you’re not allowed to go this long without speaking with me again.”

 

“So needy.”  Hajime pressed his forehead a little harder against his oldest friends, feeling a sting in his eyes that wouldn’t go away.

 

“Promise.”

 

“What are you, five?”

 

“Promise!”  Hajime laughed for the first time in what seemed like ages before solemnly promising Tooru.  Honestly Tooru probably could have asked for anything and Hajime would have given it to him in that moment.

 

 

 

 

\----------------------

 

 

 

 

_ “Iwaizumi!  Could you please take this to the classroom?  Apparently the light went out over there and everyone is scared to go there now that night has fallen.” Aoi, the class president and person in charge of the spring festival, looked like she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to be amused or annoyed.  “I’d go myself but I put the chess club and astronomy club booths next to each other not realizing there is a feud between them, and if I don’t stand near them they start throwing wet napkins at each other.” _

 

_ “Gross.”  Hajime laughed as he took the little lockbox of money.  Hajime didn’t make it a habit of getting to know who Tooru was dating for that month.  It’s not that Hajime didn’t like the people Oikawa dated, usually quite the opposite, and that was the problem because once they broke up Hajime was suppose to pick sides and of course he would pick Tooru’s side, no matter how in the wrong his best friend was.  Aoi refused to be shut out though, and she had lasted a lot longer than anyone before her.  She was their faithful class president, the top in their year, and practically guaranteed for great things in her future.  Aoi didn’t particularly understand Tooru’s dedication to volleyball or the Agency, but she did understand putting your all into your future.  She never minded when Tooru stayed late for extra practice or spent his weekends studying up his history of magic. _

 

_ “You’re my favorite person,” Aoi smiled, deep dimples showing in her round cheeks as she pulled out a coupon.  “A voucher for food, I know you’ve been watching the booth this whole time.” Hajime took the voucher gratefully, his so-called teammates had fucked off early in the beginning and he’d been left watching their juniors at their booth. _

 

_ “Thanks Aoi.”  Hajime waved as Aoi stormed over to the chess clubs booth, where they were making their own spit guns. _

 

_ The school was a bit eery after dark, especially with the lights off but Hajime had spent enough of his time doing extra practices with Tooru, Takahiro, and Issei to have gotten use to the empty-feeling.  The third years had left the club, leaving the four of them as the senior members in charge.  It had only been natural for Tooru to be named captain, but Hajime had been a little surprised when he made co-captain.  He had only been promoted to starting member when the third years left, he hadn’t even been in an official match yet. _

 

_ Hajime put the lockbox into the office, locking it up behind him and slipping the key into his pocket.  Aoi would most likely hunt him down for the key later so he didn’t have to worry about finding her to give it back, now he just needed to figure out where he wanted to eat. _

 

_ As Hajime rounded the corner outside of the school building, listening to the distant hum of the spring festival he heard something else.  A soft thud that had him stopping and tilting his head in the direction it came from.  Hajime figured he had a duty to check it out, anyone sneaking around in the dark outside a school during a festival was up to no good.  If he was lucky it’d just be a couple he could scare back into joining the festivities. _

 

_ “Oi, who’s-” Hajime rounded the corner and found something much worse than a couple trying to get some alone time during a school event. _

 

_ “You should just walk away, this has nothing to do with you.”  A reed-thin guy looped forward, but he really was far too skinny to hide what was going on behind him.  Hajime had never seen a beat down, they lived in rural Miyagi after all and their school had a zero-tolerance policy.  Despite that Hajime couldn’t deny what his eyes were obviously telling him, that three guys were ganging up on another guy crumbled up near the wall. _

 

_ “What do you think you’re doing?”  Hajime knew what they were doing but he wasn’t really all that prepared for this situation.  Tooru and Hajime might play-fight sometimes and Hajime was known as the school's reigning arm wrestling king, but he had never been in a real fight before. _

 

_ “Iwaizumi, go.”  Hajime straightened at that voice, that very familiar voice. _

 

_ “Oh are you two friends then?”  The thin guy asked, looking slimier than ever.  Hajime pulled his hands out of his jacket pocket and rolled his shoulders.  He felt strangely calm, which was an odd feeling when just prior he had been hit with disgust and anger so strong it had nearly knocked him sideways.  But right then, he felt calm. _

 

_ “You should leave.”  Hajime warned, fingers loose by his side. _

 

_ “Hah?  Tough guy?”  The thin guy shifted closer and his friends stood up from holding Issei, Hajime’s Issei, down to the ground. _

 

_ Matsukawa Issei had been a difficult guy to befriend.  He was eternally disinterested in the world around him, hardly caring about anything at all.  Or at least that’s what Hajime initially thought, but he admits he tends to make snap decisions about people.  Issei came from an old family that was equal parts wealthy and powerful.  It meant that a lot was expected from Issei, and a lot of people wanted things from him.  His passive attitude was as much of a shield as Tooru’s too-big smiles. _

 

_ Hajime had seen people want to befriend Issei, get close to him for his money or some sort of prestige.  It was an annoyance at first, but Hajime could see how uncomfortable it made Issei.  Hajime became good at recognizing people who wanted to get close to Issei vs the people who wanted to get close to a Matsukawa, and he got even better at scaring away that second group of people.  Hajime was well aware that Issei could handle himself, but he also knew the tall dumbass would never verbally ask for help either. _

 

_ Hajime had seen a lot of people love Issei for his family name, but he hadn’t seen the other side.  Those who hated him for it. _

 

_ The guy stepped forward, fist raised.  Hajime had never been punched before, briefly found himself wondering what it would feel like before realizing he didn’t want to have that life experience at that moment so he took his natural athleticism and years of volleyball training and dodged the hit.  Hajime didn’t let him get another hit in. _

 

_ Something shifted underneath Hajime’s skin, nothing physical or painful, but a feeling all the same, moving throughout his entire body before drifting down to his right arm.  Pressure built as Hajime pulled his fist back, arched it through the air and then at the last moment he opened hand and hit the guy with an open palm dead center of his chest. _

 

_ The guy went flying backwards, knocking right into one of his friends and pushing them both off their feet. _

 

_ “That’s enough of that!”  Hajime jumped in surprise as the principal pushed past him, barrelling down on the three guys, two of which were sprawled out on the ground.  The feeling slid out from beneath his skin, leaving Hajime feeling slightly disorientated.  He stumbled to the side, vaguely making out the sound of his high school principal scolding the other guys. _

 

_ “Easy.”  Someone propped Hajime up, pushing at his shoulder until Hajime was standing up straight once more.  Hajime hadn’t even noticed that he was leaning heavily to the side.  “What’s your name?” _

 

_ “Iwaizumi Hajime,” Hajime answered automatically as he looked over at the older man.  Hajime had seen him at the festival with the principal several times.  “I’m sorry-” _

 

_ “You were just defending yourself, we saw that much.”  Hajime couldn’t make out his eye color in the dark, though he knew the blonde haired man was studying him.  “How’s he doing there?” _

 

_ “Winded but fine, I understand you were just defending yourself Iwaizumi, but you will still have to be punished.”  The principal was pulling and pushing the three boys towards the building.  Issei was still on the ground, leaning against the wall and watching everything with disinterest.  “You’ll help clean up the festival tomorrow.”  Hajime had already been roped into doing so but he nodded and bowed, surprised when he suddenly felt lightheaded. _

 

_ “Sadayuki?”  The principal questioned. _

 

_ “I’ll be right behind you.”  The man named Sadayuki answered, helping Hajime stand up straight once more.  “He’s very lucky you opened your hand at the last moment, why did you do that?” _

 

_ “I- I don’t know, sir.”  Hajime shrugged helplessly, glancing over at Issei worriedly but his manners wouldn’t let him dismiss an elder. _

 

_ “My name is Mizoguchi Sadayuki and those are quite the instincts you have.”  Sadayuki pulled out a flyer.  “You should consider coming Iwaizumi.”  He didn’t smile but there was amusement in his voice as he pat Hajime’s shoulder before walking off.  Hajime didn’t have much time to worry over it as he shoved the flyer into his jacket pocket before making his way over quickly to Issei. _

 

_ “Totally understand why princesses are always getting rescued, very hot, you could take me right now.”  Issei was joking but there was something off about his voice, as if he was a very bad actor reading from a poorly written script. _

 

_ “Take you where?”  Hajime asked distractedly as he knelt down to try and get a better look.  Blood was dripping down Issei’s face, from his nose Hajime thought but his lip looked swollen too.  The lighting was too dim to actually make out anything definitively. _

 

_ “Take me- wait, are you serious?”  Issei tilted his head, a little more actual emotion coming back to his voice, warming it to its usual deep tone.  “I meant sex you adorable innocent knight.” _

 

_ “For fucks sake Mattsun.”  Hajime grunted out, more out of habit than anything.  “Come on, can’t see shit out here.”  There would be light and a fully stocked first aid kit in the club room. _

 

_ “I’m fine.”  Issei tried to wave Hajime’s concern away as he stumbled to his feet but Hajime was in no mood for that. _

 

_ “Either you can walk to the club room on your own or I carry you there.”  Hajime knew it was bad when Issei didn’t even attempt to snark back and he uselessly hovered by Issei’s side as they slowly made their way to the club room.  Hajime sent off a quick text to Takahiro, the other man was always patching up various members of their team and would be a lot more helpful than Hajime. _

 

_ Hajime wasn’t good with words, he was good with actions, with showing people he cared and loved them but words?  His most used word was probably ‘dumbass’ followed closely by ‘fuck’.  Hajime didn’t make speeches, he couldn’t say things to make people feel better, and he had never really minded much before.  When Tooru got upset Hajime let him get snot all over his shirt and carded his hands through Tooru’s hair, or sometimes Hajime headbutted him and that worked just as well.  Hajime was good with actions, but he desperately wanted to be good with words at that moment. _

 

_ “You look like shit.”  Hajime said as he helped Issei sit down on the bench before moving away to grab the first aid kit. _

 

_ “You always know what just to say.”  Issei deadpans but there’s a softness about his mouth even as he leans back and closes his eyes.  “Go on, flatter me more.” _

 

_ “You’re getting blood everywhere.”  Hajime wants to sew his own mouth shut.  No wonder Tooru always calls him a brute, he’s not wrong. _

 

_ “Sweet talker.”  Issei doesn’t seem to mind at all though, tension leaking out of his shoulders as he actually relaxes when Hajime sets the first aid kit beside him on the bench.  Hajime isn’t quite sure what to do next so he uselessly flips through the kit.  Do they have face bandaids? _

 

_ “Fuck off.”  Hajime grumbles, though it’s mostly to himself. _

 

_ “I’m blushing,” Issei answers quickly and Hajime can’t help it, he laughs and nudges Issei’s knee with his own, hoping that there’s nothing wrong with the others leg.  “Why are you just standing there?”  Hajime swears because Issei looks like he knows exactly how incompetent Hajime is at patching wounds up but he’s just being an ass and making Hajime admit to it outloud. _

 

_ “I don’t know what to do.”  Hajime admits with a shrug, staring down at the kit before him.  “I’ve never-” He motioned uselessly to his own face. _

 

_ “I’ve seen you get hit in the face with a volleyball before.”  Issei smirks, dropey eyes lighting up as Hajime huffs out in aggravation.  Hajime has been hit in the face with a volleyball or five, everyone who plays has at one point or another but they’ve surprisingly never done any damage.  Tooru had his nose broken once in middle school and a second time in their first year of high school by taking a spike to the face.   _

 

_ “What’s going on?”  Takahiro pops in before Hajime could embarrass himself further, Tooru is close behind.  They both press close when they see what state Issei is in, and Hajime gratefully lets Takahiro take over. _

 

_ “Iwaizumi said Buttercup was the best Powerpuff Girl and when I said it was Bubbles he attacked me.”  Issei explained, not even wincing as Takahiro cleaned his face. _

 

_ “Ridiculous, everyone knows Blossom is the best, that’s why she’s the leader after all.”  Takahiro joked back as he continued to wipe and press against Issei’s face.  Despite his light tone, his eyebrows were pinched tightly together, his usual atrocious posture was ramrod straight. _

 

_ Tooru pressed lightly into Hajime’s side, eyebrows raised in a silent question.  Hajime lifted his shoulders the barest amount, knowing that Tooru could tell just by looking at him that Hajime knew just as much as anyone else did.  It was unlikely that anyone would get any information out of Issei, he would joke about it until his last breath.  Hajime tried not to take it personally, he knew that Issei had a hard time trusting people and an even tougher time sharing anything important about himself.  It wasn’t personal, it was just Issei trying to guard himself. _

 

_ “I think we should all discuss how the leader of Aoba Johsai hit on Iwaizumi.”  Issei easily redirected the conversation.  Hajime had no idea what Issei was talking about.  “He gave you his phone number didn’t he?” _

 

_ “Oh- that guy?”  Hajime went through his pockets until he found the flyer and pulled it out.  “He wasn’t hitting on me, he gave me some flyer to an event he thought I should go to.  What’s Aoba Johsai?” _

 

_ “They’re one of the top teams for the Agency.”  Tooru quickly took the flyer, looking it over critically.  “You said the leader gave you this?  Mizoguchi Sadayuki?  He had a speech during opening ceremony but you were helping the photography club set up.”   _

 

_ “Only we are allowed access to Iwaizumi’s muscles for our own personal use!”  Takahiro shouted, mock outraged. _

 

_ “We must set this atrocity right.”  Issei agreed, pulling back when Takahiro was done patching him up. _

 

_ “No- just no.”  Hajime strode over to them.  “If I hear about you pranking the photography club I will seek retribution for them.”  Takahiro and Issei stared at him in horror.  Hajime didn’t fuck around when it came to pranking, which was why they had quickly learned to not involve him in it. _

 

_ “Are you going to go?”  Tooru asked, pulling them all out of their small fight.  He waved the flyer when all he got was a look in confusion. _

 

_ “Aoba Johsai was never one of the teams you mentioned.”  Tooru had done hours of research on every team the Agency had to offer, deep diving on which one would be best for them to join after their time at the Academy.  Hajime had always silently worried about that, Tooru would obviously have his pick of teams but Hajime barely had any magical power. _

 

_ “He sent a guy flying back by just pushing against his chest.”  Issei intimiated the move Hajime had done, hand splayed out mid air.  Tooru’s eyebrows raised.  “If the volleyball association finds out you have that ability they’ll kick you out.” _

 

_ “Have what ability?”  Hajime asked, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.  Sports were a difficult thing to do when it came to magic.  A lot of schools had rules about those with extra strength or speed not being able to join, magic was strictly forbidden.  Hajime didn’t want anyone thinking that he used some sort of hidden ability to help win games when he had worked his ass off for six years to become as good a player as he was. _

 

_ “I think we should go, it’s a good team and if the leader acknowledges you then he’s obviously got his head on right.”  Tooru half mumbled, staring down at the flyer with great concentration. _

 

_ “That’s the nicest thing Oikawa’s ever said to Iwaizumi.”  Issei deadpanned. _

 

_ “I might cry, I want to be complemented by our captain.”  Takahiro whined. _

 

_ “Why did you say we are going?”  Hajime asked, ignoring the other two. _

 

_ “I want to check out their training regimen, Aoba Johsai is good and they have a lot of potential but they get beat out by a couple other teams fairly often.”  Tooru explained as he pulled out his phone to type something into it, probably marking in his calendar the day of the event. _

 

_ “And we have to go to safe guard Iwaizumi, just incase this guy really is hitting on him.”  Issei leaned against Takahiro, dropping his voice low even though they were all close enough to hear him.  “I said he could take me earlier and he said take you where?” _

 

_ “Oh my, that’s adorable.  We definitely have to protect him at all costs.”  Takahiro said quickly, looking over at Hajime with a grin. _

 

_ “Fuck both of you.”  Hajime snatched the flyer out of Tooru’s hand and stormed out of the club room.  “I’m going to get some food.”  He called out, knowing they would all follow him. _

 

 

 

\--------------------

 

 

 

Hajime groaned as he sprawled out on the hotel bed.  He had showered, Tooru had cast a small spell to keep his arm dry, and changed into clean clothes.  He almost felt like a person again, though he could feel the dark thoughts and emotions edging in on him, waiting for the opportunity to crash into him and consume him once more.  But at that moment the bed was soft, the room smelled clean, and he was warm.

 

“When do you have to go back?”  Hajime asked, pulling himself back from the edge of sleep.

 

“Whenever I want to.”  Tooru answered from the small kitchen.  Hajime wasn’t sure what he was making but it smelled good.

 

“Tooru.”  Hajime said in warning, knowing that it wasn’t the full truth.

 

“I’m at least staying until you get that new flat.”  Tooru said as he walked over to the bed with two plates.  It was a simple meal, but Hajime sat up feeling famished and for the first time in a while he actually felt hungry.  They had settled on one of the cheaper flats, or more like Tooru had decided for Hajime but that was fine.  Hajime had complained about not being able to afford it while Tooru continued to ignore that until he was forced to give up.

 

“You’ve been here over a week already.”  Hajime fumbled slightly with his fork, his nondominant hand still clumsy.

 

“The treatments are really hard on you, aren’t they?”  Hajime hadn’t allowed Tooru to come to the clinic during his last appointment, but Tooru had seen the aftermath.

 

“It’s complicated magic.”  Hajime deflected with a shrug.  It wasn’t easy, having the clay arm attached to him felt completely unnatural and it hurt constantly but he felt he was in no position to complain.  He had made this decision and now he had to live with it.

 

“Suga blames me for what happened to Sawamura.”  Tooru said after a long stretch of silence where he was probably hoping Hajime would open up about what was going on.  Hajime had broken down on the first night Tooru had showed up, but he wasn’t prepared just yet to crack himself open to show his bleeding soul to his friend.  Not just then, not when the wounds were still fresh.

 

“You’ve never been good at giving people space.”  Hajime tries not to smile, he knows his friend is hurting but he also told Tooru, several times, to leave Koushi alone.  If Koushi was truly by himself, if he had no friends or family Hajime would agree that Tooru should have pushed closer, but Koushi was well loved by many people.

 

“You’re not going to give me any sympathy, are you?”  Tooru pouted, exaggerated and only partially true.  Tooru was well aware that none of the blame for what happened to Daichi was his fault, but Koushi needed someone to blame and Tooru had made himself a big neon target when he pushed too far.

 

“You’ve gone about everything with Sugawara in the wrong way.”  Hajime shrugs.  It’s not as if he doesn’t sympathize with Tooru, he feels bad that his friend is taking the blame for something that was out of his control but all of his suave confidence goes down the drain when it comes to Koushi.  Hajime honestly thought that they were good together, Tooru and Koushi, but sometimes that wasn’t enough.

 

Hajime also thought he was good together with Issei and Takahiro, but he had gone and messed that up.

 

“So what do I do?”  Tooru asked, poking at his food dejectedly.

 

“Give him space, let him go.”  Hajime shrugged when Tooru looked over at him in surprise.  “Sometimes you have to know when to fight for something and when to let it go.  You know how important Daichi was to Suga, you know how long they knew each other, that Suga gave up a promising career as a Med Mage to follow Daichi and he lost a junior member of his team too.”

 

“But what if he needs-”

 

“Love?  Support?  Comfort?  Someone to talk to?”  Hajime asked, eyebrows raised.  “He has tons of friends, Azumane was just as close to Daichi as Suga, they all practically grew up together.  You and I both know that the whole of Karasuno is built like a family.  He needs support but not from you, not right now.  What he needs from you is space and time.  I bet he knows what he said to you was wrong, that you’re not to blame because you wouldn’t let him break his hand beating on a barrier he couldn’t break even if he punched it for days, but he needs to come to that realization in his own time.”

 

“Is that what you’re doing?  Letting go of them?”  Tooru asked and it should have felt like a punch to Hajime’s gut, but he knew his friend didn’t say it maliciously.

 

“I have no right to fight for them, not after what I’ve done.  I made my choice and they haven’t given me any sign that they want me-” Hajime shrugged, clearing his suddenly tight throat as Tooru gave him a long, considering look.

 

“And if they gave you a sign?  Would you fight?”  Tooru asked.

 

“The Matsukawa’s would go after my family again.”  Hajime shook his head.

 

“Would you fight?”  Tooru asked again, voice like steel.  Hajime wanted to push him off the bed.

 

“You know I would.”  Hajime snapped out.  “You know I would give up anything for them but my parents didn’t make that same choice, they don’t deserve to be punished because of me.”  Tooru stood up suddenly, taking their plates and heading off to the kitchen.  Hajime was well aware that wasn’t the end of that topic, that Tooru would use the time to plan a counter argument.

 

Hajime laid back down, glad that Tooru was still there.  He knew Tooru would have to go back eventually, probably wouldn’t be able to stay longer than another week, but he was glad to have him for the short time.  He drove away the darkness that was threatening to swallow Hajime whole, gave him some of his strength back so he could fight better when Tooru left.  Hajime was glad for Tooru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally chapter 3 is done! Hope you enjoyed it!!


	4. The Better

_ Hajime is glad to be going home soon.  The first year at the Academy had been more difficult than anything he had faced before.  The grind of classes and the push of physical activity he could deal with, but the bullying hadn’t let up.  At least he was pretty solid in protection runes at that point.  The past two weeks had been grueling with the end of the term finals.  Papers, practical magic assessments, verbal explanations- everything they had learned in the previous year they had to execute perfectly.  Hajime had done exceedingly well in some classes and barely managed to pull through in others but all he had was one more paper to turn in and he’d be done. _

 

_ Takeda’s class was probably one of the most difficult, but it was also one of the most rewarding when you finally had a breakthrough, when you actually understood what the teacher was talking about.  Two nights ago Hajime had that breakthrough, and he spent the next two days buried in library, writing out a complicated sigil on several transparent pieces of paper.  When all the papers were put together a complete sigil would appear, and he had written out a 10 page paper explaining how the sigil worked and every line and dot within the complicated drawing. _

 

_ Hajime had left it untouched for nearly a full day, getting some much needed rest and packing up the rest of his stuff.  He was going to review it one last time before dropping it off at Takeda’s office a day early so the next day he could participate in the last day BBQ, which might have been the only thing keeping some students going. _

 

_ It was odd to see all his roommates in the dorm room together, and as usual all talking stopped the minute Hajime stepped into the room.  He had gotten use to it, was glad that he would moved to the upperclassmen dorms after the summer break and he’d only have to share with one person then.  The upperclassmen class was always a lot smaller than the lowerclassmen, Hajime had seen several people drop out.  Some left in the middle of the night, shame and guilt riding heavy on their shoulders. _

 

_ Hajime reached out to grab the several papers on his bedside table, he wouldn’t mind studying in the library again, better than all the judgemental looks he got in his own dorm.  There was a small chunk of zircon on it, a small stone that was brown and green and meant to protect worldly possessions.  Hajime’s picked up the papers and then watched in shock as they turned to ashes in his hands.  The stone cracked down the middle and dulled to a gray. _

 

_ Hajime stared down at the pile of ashes, his brain not comprehending what had happened.  He had used that stone several times, knew protection stones couldn’t do that kind of damage anyways.  The sigil written on several papers wouldn’t have activated unless all the components were drawn together.  That left only one option. _

 

_ Hajime turned to his roommates, who were staring at him with varying emotions on their face.  Anger, guilt, shame, panic- panic, probably because Hajime was storming over to the one showing no signs of guilt. _

 

_ “What the fuck did you do?”  Hajime had the guy up against the wall before he had even realized he had grabbed him.  The other two jumped up, hands uselessly hovering before them.  Using magic on another student outside the classroom was strictly forbidden, lucky for Hajime he didn’t need magic to beat this scumball into a broken pile of garbage.  It wouldn’t even matter if he was kicked out for the violent act because he would surely fail Takeda’s class now.  There was no coming back from this, no way to make a whole new sigil in the time he had left. _

 

_ “You should have just left!”  Akira shouted.  He was tall but skinny, and Hajime had seen him in their more physical classes.  It was no contest between the two of them who would win in a fight. _

 

_ “What did I ever do to you?”  Hajime yelled, emphasizing his point by slamming Akira against the wall even as his anger was slowly leaking out of him.  Tooru had always said Hajime was quick to anger but even quicker to forgive.  Hajime definitely did not forgive any of them, but the momentary anger that had kept him standing was leaving his body at a rapid pace and he just felt  _ empty.

 

_ “Me?  You think this is about me?”  Akira let out a hysterical sounding laugh.  “You hurt Etsuko!  You made her cry, she almost dropped out because of you!”  Hajime let go of Akira, taking a step back and tried to get past the  _ what the absolute fuck _ running through his mind to match a name to a face. _

 

_ Etsuko? _

 

_ Etsuko. _

 

_ Etsuko! _

 

_ “You’ve got to be fuck-” Hajime bit off his string of swear words, stepping back and releasing Akira.  The other man tried to punch him but Hajime easily side stepped, hitting him on the back and sending him face first onto the mattress.  “You three don’t move.”   _

 

_ It takes Hajime some time to do what needs to be done, it probably would have gone faster if he hadn’t been wearing a face full of rage but the end results are all the same. _

 

_ “Etsuko!”  Akira shouts as he scrambles up from his spot on the bed.  Hajime nearly laughs because they hadn’t actually moved from the spots he had left them in.   _

 

_ “What’s going on Akira?  What have you done?”  Standing next to each other Hajime can see the similarities and guesses they must be twins.  Akira is a little taller and the willowy frame looks better on Etsuko but they have the same light brown eyes, dimples, and even the same posture. _

 

_ “What have I done?  He’s the one-” Hajime steps closer and Akira immediately shuts up. _

 

_ “Can you please tell them what happened on the first day?  The one where I met you?”  Hajime asks, patience wearing thin.  Etsuko pales a bit and Hajime momentarily feels guilty for bringing her into this but it’s her dumbass brother torturing Hajime so things need to be set straight. _

 

_ “A guy cornered me, he wouldn’t leave me alone and I froze up.”  Etsuko twists her long fingers together and Akira steps closer, concern and anger written on his thin features.  The other two boys look uncomfortable and outraged.  “Iwaizumi scared him off.” _

 

_ “What?”  Akira asks, shock coloring his voice. _

 

_ “I went to go get her friend afterwards because I figured the last thing she wanted was for another strange guy to be near her.”  Hajime crosses his arms over his chest, annoyed a little with himself for letting this go on for so long when it could have been settled easily.  He had thought confronting them would have made it worse, he had thought it would die down eventually.  “When I came back someone was already with her so I left.” _

 

_ “I thought it was him who had hurt you!”  Akira shouted. _

 

_ “You never listen Akira!”  Etsuko shouted back, jabbing her finger into his chest.  “Now what have you done?”  Akira suddenly looked crestfallen, the other two boys looked like they were ready to bolt. _

 

_ “I’m so sorry,” Akira looked at him with wide eyes.  Hajime had two choices, he could accept the failing grade and also flunk out of the Academy or he could tell Takeda what had happened and most likely Akira would get kicked out.  If they believed Hajime that was, if Akira told the truth. _

 

_ “Please tell me this wasn’t some final project.”  Etsuko pleaded after Hajime had motioned to the pile of ashes. _

 

_ “I’m sorry!”  Akira shouted again, joined in by the other two boys.  Etsuko crossed her arms over her chest, giving them a good glare. _

 

_ “Does anyone have a baggy?”  Etsuko takes one of the small plastic bags that are presented to her and then begins to carefully put the ashes into the bag.  “We’re going to Professor Takeda.” _

 

_ “What?  Etsuko,” Akira whined but she was already shaking her head and storming out of the room. _

 

_ “This is the Academy, full of intelligent and powerful teachers and you think they haven’t had to fix someone's project that caught on fire or blew up because teenagers are ridiculous?”  Etsuko asked as she strode down the hall.  Hajime had limited interaction with the girl but he was liking her more every minute. _

 

_ “Do you really think Takeda can fix it?”  Hajime asked. _

 

_ “If he can’t then no one can, and then my brother and his idiot friends will have to fess up.”  Etsuko frowned slightly as they walked out of the dorm buildings and to the staff building, where all the teachers offices and rooms were.  “I’m really sorry about this Iwaizumi, I know this can’t have been the first thing they did to you.”  Hajime shrugged because what else was there to say?  Things could have gone a lot differently if Akira had confronted him or if he had listened to Etsuko in the first place, or even if Hajime had confronted Akira earlier. _

 

_ Takeda was in his office, with Ukai.  It was a bit of a surprise to see the enthusiastic but timid professor with the sarcastic and disinterested teacher.  But they were sitting around Takeda’s desk, eating lunch together. _

 

_ “Pardon the intrusion.”  They all bowed and Ukai raised an expressive eyebrow as he continued to eat his lunch, though Takeda stood up and smiled at them. _

 

_ “Ah- yes, come in, sorry for the mess.”  Takeda moved around his desk, tripping over a book on the ground but Ukai reached out an arm and steadied the other man easier, like he had done it dozens of times before.  “Sorry sorry.  How can I help you?” _

 

_ “There was an accident with Iwaizumi’s last project.”  Etsuko held up the ash-filled baggy.  Hajime thought it was a hopeless cause, how could anyone fix that? _

 

_ “Oh no, well let’s see what we can do.”  Takeda took the bag.  “How many papers did you use Iwaizumi?” _

 

_ “Five translucent ones and 10 lined ones.”  Hajime stepped forward, watching as Takeda took out the corresponding pieces of paper, laying them all together and then dumping the bag of ash out onto it.  “Does this happen often, sir?”  Hajime couldn’t help but ask because Takeda’s movements were practiced and he didn’t look at all surprised when Etsuko presented the bag. _

 

_ “More often than you think.”  Ukai answered instead.  “Some think they can do something like this and get out of handing in their last assignment.” _

 

_ “But I’m sure that’s not what you’re doing!”  Takeda insisted, shooting Ukai a warning look to which the other man gave him a toothy grin in reply.  Hajime wondered why people were so invested in the Sawamura-Ukai rumors when it was completely obvious to anyone with eyes and half a brain that there was something going on between the two professors. _

 

_ Takeda wrote several runes in the air, pushing them gently into place around the paper.  He hummed a chant that sounded more like a song than any spell Hajime had heard before the ash started to glow from within, like embers were lighting up inside it.  Hajime could feel the other students leaning close behind him, trying to get a good look at what exactly what Takeda was doing.  The man constantly told his students he wasn’t powerful by any means but Hajime was beginning to suspect there was power in knowledge, and there wasn’t anyone more knowledgeable at the school than Takeda. _

 

_ Takeda pressed a final rune into the ash, spreading it so it covered the complete surface of the paper before the magic dissipated from the air completely. _

 

_ “Now lets see what we have to work with.”  Takeda carefully picked up the papers before tilting them towards the trashcan, letting the ash fall off in one thin sheet before revealing the work underneath. _

 

_ “That’s my sigil.”  Hajime could help but exclaim as his writing, his own writing, was revealed on the papers beneath.  Hajime could see bits and pieces of it were missing, like he had erased it. _

 

_ “Good, most of it seemed to have transferred just fine.”  Takeda beamed happily, flipping through the papers.  “Now if you’ll excuse us, I have to talk to Iwaizumi alone.”  Hajime stood up straight, watched the three boys leave with fear in their eyes before Etsuko squeezed Hajime’s arm softly and followed them out. _

 

_ “Sir?”  Hajime asked warily. _

 

_ “From our meeting two weeks ago I knew your work would be well above average, you won’t have to re-do anything, I can just take this from here.”  Takeda smiled warmly, adjusting his glasses slightly as he put the papers back down on his desk.  “But this isn’t the first time something like this has happened, is there anything you want to talk about?” _

 

_ “Oh,” Hajime blinked in surprised, relief hit him so hard he nearly lost his footing but his teacher had asked him a question.  “No sir, there’s nothing.  Next year will be better, I promise.”  Takeda seemed to search his face, frowning slightly. _

 

_ “You heard him Ittetsu, come on kid, walk with me.”  Ukai pushed himself into a standing position, tossing his empty carton out in the trash before walking out the door.  Takeda gave him an encouraging smile and Hajime had no choice but to follow the older man.  “So Mizoguchi told me to keep an eye on you when you got into the Academy and honestly I was really hoping you would be a dud, that guy is a real pain in the ass when he’s right about something.” _

 

_ Hajime wasn’t sure what to say to that, or if he was suppose to say anything at all.  So he made a noncommittal sound and continued walking next to the older man. _

 

_ “Next year will be even more difficult than this one, but it’ll be a hell of a lot funner.”  Ukai grinned before nudging him into the direction of one of the gyms.  Walking in Hajime could immediately assess that the arrange of people in the gym were those with fae-blood.  Giants and Ogres intermixed as they played a fast-paced game of volleyball.  Ukai went up to the second floor balcony, leant against the rail and watched the game with intelligent eyes. _

 

_ “Sir?”  Hajime asked hesitantly though he didn’t mind watching the game.  He hadn’t gotten to play much but he was pretty sure the small group in the gym would slaughter him.  Even as he thought that he still wanted to play. _

 

_ “The government likes putting names on things, makes civilians feel better if you have a name and there’s a neat little description next to it.”  Ukai continued to watch the game, his eyes tracking the ball as it slammed down on the hardwood floor with a boom that echoed throughout the gym.  “Priest are good, blood-mages are bad.  Giants are big and dumb but strong, Yokai will trick you out of house and home.” _

 

_ “I’ve heard some of that.”  Hajime confirmed, studying the older man and wondering where he was going. _

 

_ “World doesn’t work like that kid, nothing fits into neat little boxes.”  Ukai turned to face Hajime, a big toothy grin covering his face.  “They got a couple names for people like you but truth is, most people with your type of magic get wrote off pretty quickly.” _

 

_ “I don’t have much magic.”  Hajime tried to keep the bitterness out of his tone, he really did but it was still there. _

 

_ “Bullshit.”  Ukai laughed at Hajime’s incredulous face.  “Next year you’ll be placed in classes with that lot.”  He motioned to the group playing volleyball, though they had stopped to start yelling at each other, arguing whether or not the last spike was in or not. _

 

_ “Really?”  Hajime eyed them warily.  Maybe no one fit into neat little boxes but he had seen most of those people in action, they were stronger than humans.  Most of them were a lot bigger too and some even had the added ability of quicker speed and faster healing abilities. _

 

_ “Worried Iwaizumi?”  Ukai gave him a shark-like grin.  “You shouldn’t be.  I mean, a little yes because they are going to see you as a weak link until you prove yourself but something tells me you’ve been proving yourself your whole life.” _

 

_ “I still don’t understand, no amount of strength training is going to make me as strong as even the weakest one of them.”  Hajime wondered briefly if anything would be easy in his life or if he’d have to keep fighting his entire life. _

 

_ “Well that would be true if it wasn’t for your magic.”  Ukai turned his back on the gym, staring Hajime down.  “The thing with your magic isn’t that it’s weak or there isn’t a lot of it, it’s just that you can’t project it farther than a couple centimeters from your body.  That’s why sigils work but spells are difficult for you.  With the right training Iwaizumi you’ll be heavily sought after when you graduate because you will have the ability to put forth defensive and offensive magic at the same time.” _

 

_ “How?”  Hajime didn’t let himself question it, Ukai was the teacher after all and he had said Mizoguchi had saw something in him.  Maybe this was it, maybe life was finally turning around for him. _

 

_ “Strength training.”  Ukai grinned widely.  “But for your magic as well as your body.  Giants, Ogres, Trolls, Werewolves- the whole lot of them don’t have much magic to expend but they are damn near repellant of magical attacks.  Ever notice that you don’t get as hurt as you should during training?  Maybe bruises fade a little quicker than those around you?  Ever thought why those kids had to hex your items instead of you?” _

 

_ Hajime remembers a night at a high school festival years ago.  Hajime had tried to patch up Issei but he had no idea what to do with anything in the first aid kit.  Hajime just thought he had been particularly lucky growing up but there were times when he had fallen or tripped, when he should have had scraped knees and palms but hadn’t.  The few times he’d taken a volleyball to the face but had walked away with nothing more than a slight sting. _

 

_ “You’re saying I actually have magic?”  Hajime asked, just to be sure. _

 

_ “A shit ton of it kid.”  Ukai rubbed his jaw as he looked over Hajime.  “Don’t get cocky, someone with greater power can still come along and knock you on your ass but you train hard enough and that person will have to be exceptionally powerful to do so.” _

 

_ Hajime looked back down at the first floor of the gym where a tall girl had managed to get herself tangled up in the net and he felt a wave of excitement go through him at the prospect of next year. _

 

 

 

 

\---------------------

 

 

 

 

 

“I just don’t understand, I thought Yahaba had better sense than that!”  Tooru cried out while Hajime resisted the urge to take the scissors away from his friend.  Hajime had needed a haircut pretty badly but he was beginning to reject the decision to let Tooru give him a trim.  They were set up in the bathroom tub, Hajime sitting on a chair with a towel wrapped around his shoulders and Tooru flitted around him.

 

“Why are we gossiping about our juniors?”  Hajime asked, reaching up to itch at his nose and knocking some clippings off his face.

 

“I’m cutting your hair, this is a time-honored tradition!”  Tooru ducked down into Hajime’s line of sight.  He had pulled his own wavy hair back with a headband.  “You would know this if you actually saw a real hair dresser.”  Hajime wasn’t sure if sharing gossip was part of getting your haircut because mostly he just let whoever owned sharp scissors give him a trim.

 

“Kentarou is Yahaba’s type though.”  Hajime said with resignation.

 

“What?”  Tooru squawked.  “No, not my little innocent Yahaba!  He has much better taste than that, like me.”  Hajime snorted at that because they both knew how full of shit that sentence was.  Only people who did not actually know Tooru or Shigeru thought they were similar in anyway besides their looks.

 

“Yahaba use to flirt with Tanaka all the time.”  Tooru stood off to the side, head tilted as he tried to remember who that was before letting out a surprised noise.  Tanaka Ryuunosuke and Kentarou had a lot in common, except Ryuunosuke was a lot more sociable with people he meets for the first time.  It takes a very short amount of time for Ryuunosuke to like someone, while Kentarou is more like a stray dog, slow to warm to someone but loyal to the death when he does.

 

“I didn’t know he liked him.”  Tooru gave Hajime the stink eye, like it was his fault that Tooru missed something like that.

 

“I just think he liked flirting with him is all.”  Hajime shrugged, not really comfortable discussing these types of things.  Ryuunosuke was a big teddy bear who was in a happy relationship, which meant it was safe for Shigeru to flirt with him without anything getting overly complicated.  Shigeru, from what Hajime had seen, liked to flirt with various people.  It didn’t matter to Hajime much, Tooru was much the same way.

 

Hajime wasn’t much for flirting, mostly because he was horrible at it.  He had tried it a handful of times and it never worked out in his favor.  One time Takahiro had laughed so hard he nearly wet himself and another Issei had put a hand against his forehead and, dead serious, asked if he was coming down with something.  Flirting was not in Iwaizumi Hajime’s skillset.

 

“You’re staring because you fucked up.”  Hajime deadpanned but Tooru vehemently denied it as he helped Hajime take the towel off and pulled the chair out of the shower so he could wash the hair down the drain.

 

Hajime ran a calloused hand through his hair as he thought about Takahiro hovering around him, eyes narrowed in serious concentration for once as he trimmed Hajime’s hair.  Long fingers tilting his chin up, brushing against the back of his neck, running along the shell of his ear.  Issei watching from his spot on the bathroom counter, one long leg pulled up as he catches Hajime’s eye and smiles, small and barely there but soft and caring all the same.

 

Hajime rubs at his eyes, feels his heavy heart and forces himself not to ask about either of them.  It was still a touchy subject between Tooru and Hajime, neither of them willing to give up any ground in their argument.

 

Hajime misses them, misses Takahiro and Issei like he misses his right arm.  Except more so.  He misses the few lazy mornings they managed to have together and the way Takahiro snorted when he laughed too hard.  He missed laying on the couch with Issei, his too long legs hanging off the end, his muscles slowly relaxing as Hajime traced the curve of his spine and ran his fingers through his curly hair.  He missed finding random sweets hidden around the house, Takahiro’s adamant denial that he had any sort of problem with confections.

 

Home.  Hajime missed home, which use to be the big flat that had originally belonged to Issei and Takahiro but Hajime had slowly been moving into.  He missed Japan, Tokyo and Miyagi.  He missed his team and the Agency.  He missed the cherry blossoms and the forest spirits dodging between trees.

 

He missed it all.

 

“What time does your flight leave tomorrow?”  Hajime asked, trying to shake off any negative thoughts.

 

“Early,” Tooru answered as he looked around the already spotless bathroom for something else to clean.  Hajime narrowed his eyes because Tooru had been acting a bit off ever since he had helped Hajime move into his new flat.

 

It was a tiny thing.  The kitchen, bedroom, and living room were basically all the same space but it was warm and cozy.  It was also only a fifteen minute walk and a two minute cab ride to his clinic.

 

Tooru had said he would stay until Hajime was moved into his new place and that had been two days ago.  Every time Hajime brought up Tooru leaving he started acting off.  At first Hajime thought Tooru was worried about leaving Hajime alone again, that he would slip right back into that dark place and stop taking care of himself.  Hajime had tried to reassure Tooru that he would do better but his friend had waved that off.

 

“You’re coming to see me off, right?”  Tooru asked, for what had to be the tenth time in two days.  Hajime massaged his shoulder, trying to work out a kink while also figuring out what was making Tooru act so oddly.

 

“Of course.”  The flight was early enough that Hajime would be able to see his friend off and be in time for his treatment later in the day.

 

“Good, good.”  Tooru shuffled over to the kitchen and began to wipe down the already clean counter.  Hajime watched him from the bathroom doorway with worry.

 

 

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

 

 

_ “They are so bad,” Hajime cringes as Takahiro tries to hit a high note and fails spectacularly.  He’s too drunk to notice but Hajime isn’t, and neither is Issei who’s sitting next to him laughing even as he rubs at one ear.  “I keep thinking this is the worst song they could have chosen and then they start in on an even worse one.” _

 

_ “I’m going to record it and then show it as an advertisement to join Aoba Johsai.”  Issei deadpans, though his lips are curved slightly upwards.  Despite his threats his phone stays face down on the table and his eyes stay glued to the stage where Takahiro and Tooru continue their karaoke duet. _

 

_ Tooru had been made leader of Aoba Johsai and they were celebrating that, with a side celebration of Takahiro and Issei becoming official members of the Agency, and their newly formed team.  Of course Takahiro and Issei had joined the Agency nearly five months prior and Tooru had been leader for a good two weeks by that point, but it was hard to get all their schedules lined up to be able to meet up. _

 

_ They had let Tooru pick where they would go, which honestly was the first mistake of the night.  Hajime hadn’t even thought the possibility of karaoke would happen.  Mostly he assumed they’d go out for a few drinks, maybe some food and then separate to go to their own homes by at least midnight.  Hajime did not expect for Tooru to demand them all to drink copious amounts of alcohol, which none of them had done in years to be honest. _

 

_ It was nearing two in the morning and Hajime was beginning to think that their little booth was just a great place to take a nap.  While he considered putting his head down on the slightly sticky surface he caught Issei wince as he wrapped his bandaged hand around his mug. _

 

_ “Is it still bothering you?”  Hajime asked, pushing his own empty mug out of the way and motioning for Issei to present his hand to him.  A couple days ago they had busted up an illegal magical creatures market.  Most of the creatures weren’t native to Japan so when Issei ended up with a nasty burn on his left hand it wasn’t all that surprising. _

 

_ “It’s healing.”  Issei said with a shrug but he placed his bandaged hand in Hajime’s outstretched palms.  Hajime wasn’t sure what to do now, he didn’t think undoing the white bandage would help much of anything since Hajime only knew the bare amount of first aid.  He was good with stabbings, though that was a story for a different time, but his knowledge on burns, on magical burns was limited. _

 

_ Hajime ran his thumb softly over Issei’s exposed wrist as he tried to get his booze-addled brain to work a bit quicker.  Hajime could handle his liquor, but he was also exhausted and hungry and it was making his mind feel like mush. _

 

_ “I’ll talk to Sugawara tomorrow, see if he has time to look at it.”  Hajime finally said, feeling quite brilliant for thinking of it.  He felt a little guilty for it.  Sugawara Koushi was a med-mage, one of two in their section of the Agency, and therefore people were always asking favors of him.  But Hajime had helped out the newly formed Karasuno a few times so he felt comfortable asking for the favor. _

 

_ Hajime looked up to give Issei a cheesy little grin, feeling exhaustion and alcohol fight for a spot in his heavy body.  He was thinking about offering an escape plan, the two of them could go get some food.  Takahiro and Tooru probably wouldn’t notice for at least an hour.  But then Hajime saw the look in Issei’s eyes and all coherent thoughts flew out the window. _

 

_ “Mattsun?”  Hajime asked, heart in his throat as Issei’s long fingers slowly closed over Hajime’s hand.  The hold was loose, the fabric of the bandage caught on the callouses on Hajime’s palm but it was there. _

 

_ “Time to go home!”  Hajime jumps at the sound of Tooru’s shrill voice.  He pulls his hands back, feeling guilt riding his shoulders as he avoids looking at Takahiro.  It had started off innocently enough but it hadn’t been platonic handholding by the end, at least not for Hajime.  “Everyone remember to drink lots of water before they go to bed, I have plans for tomorrow.”  The look Tooru shot them all was positively evil.  They had just gotten new recruits for the team and Tooru was going to weed out the weak ones. _

 

_ Which meant Hajime would spend most of the day comforting people and trying to corral his three friends into behaving themselves. _

 

_ “I’m going to challenge them all to arm wrestling!”  Takahiro proudly announced. _

 

_ “No you’re not.”  Hajime said automatically though he knew it was futile really. _

 

_ “They can’t join the team unless they beat me!”  Takahiro continued as Issei helped him into his jacket.  “Right Issei?” _

 

_ “You’re very strong ‘Hiro.”  Issei said with a nod.  Takahiro grinned, big and a little lopsided, before turning a look on Hajime. _

 

_ “No, I’m tired.”  Hajime started to walk out of the bar. _

 

_ “Fight me.”  Takahiro insisted from behind him. _

 

_ “No Makki, you cried last time we fought while drunk.”  Hajime still felt guilty for that, though mostly Takahiro is just an emotional drunk. _

 

_ “I’ve been training!”  Takahiro shouted, wrapping his arms around Hajime’s as if that would convince him to fight the other, and didn’t just make Hajime’s stomach buzz with warmth and butterflies. _

 

_ “Makki, Iwa has been training for years.”  Tooru spoke up from close behind them.  “He’s literally been training how to break people with nothing but his body.” _

 

_ “That’s hot.”  Takahiro tugged on Hajime’s arm.  “Fight me a little.”  Hajime laughed and allowed himself to be pulled along even as he shook his head. _

 

_ “Maybe tomorrow.”  Hajime was weak but he couldn’t help but smile as Takahiro cheered loudly next to him. _

 

_ They walk Tooru to his apartment building, it’s only a block away from the karaoke bar and Tooru gives them a big wave before making his way inside.  Hajime starts to walk in the direction of his own apartment, not looking forward to the long walk now that the stations have closed, but he’s corralled from both sides to walk in the opposite direction. _

 

_ “What are you doing?”  Hajime asks though he has a pretty good idea. _

 

_ “It’ll take you forever to walk home.”  Issei said with a shrug. _

 

_ “And you’re drunk so who knows if you’d even make it home!”  Takahiro mock-whispered dramatically, leaning in close to Hajime.  “You come with us then you can actually get a proper couple hours of sleep before our fearless leader has us doing drills until we puke.” _

 

_ “Are we back in highschool?”  Issei mumbled quietly.  Hajime had no good excuse to say no so he followed beside them and listened to Takahiro recount the events of the night, even though Hajime and Issei had been right there with him. _

 

_ They made it to Takahiro and Issei’s place without incident.  Hajime was offered sleep clothes, he took the shirt and faked strangled Takahiro with the pants when he made fun of Hajime’s ‘tiny baby legs’. _

 

_ “I’m a perfectly normal size!”  Hajime shouted as he curled up in bed.  The shirt is old and worn with the name of a band or musical or perhaps even a show that Hajime has never heard of.  It’s long and a little too tight across the shoulders but it’ll have to do. _

 

_ Hajime realized it was actually Issei and Takahiro’s bed he had crashed in and he only has a moment to feel bad about that before he’s falling fast asleep. _

 

_ Hajime woke up feeling like he had just closed his eyes but the light filling up the room told a different story.  A room that was definitely not his, which was disorientating for a few moments but the warm body wrapped around his own told him what he needed to know. _

 

_ Takahiro was a cuddler, which was something Hajime always took care not to think about but now it was information he knew for sure.  Why exactly Takahiro was clinging to him in his sleep was a matter of some concern because Hajime was pretty positive he had gone to bed alone.  The biggest problem was moving, or the fact that Hajime didn’t want to move. _

 

_ The added heat of another body in the bed was a slight discomfort, Hajime always slept hot and he hadn’t actually slept with another person in years, but despite the heat Hajime was surprised at how comfortable he was.  Takahiro and Hajime shouldn’t fit so well together, shouldn’t be able to sleep an entire night pressed into each others personal space and not have it become an issue. _

 

_ Hajime allowed himself just one small moment, a tiny speck in his lifetime to enjoy the press of Hanamaki Takahiro’s body against his.  Their legs were slotted together but Takahiro somehow managed to curl himself right under Hajime’s chin.  His fingers were cold were they pressed against the small of Hajime’s back and his hair was soft against Hajime’s throat. _

 

_ Hajime forced himself away, his body already mourning the loss of something he had no real right in enjoying.  Takahiro had probably figured it was no big deal that they shared a bed, they’d done it in the past.  During training camps in high school they had slept on futons pushed next to each other.  They were adults and Takahiro clearly trusted Hajime.  It made a flush of shame come over Hajime at betraying that trust.  He guiltily locked that memory away as he shuffled out of the bedroom.  Out of Issei and Takahiro’s bedroom. _

 

_ “Mornin’.”  Issei said with a soft sleepy smile, eyes half lidded as he stood near the stove with a spatula.  Issei wasn’t really a morning person, neither was he a night person.  Mostly he was just a person with insomnia who lived off of catnaps.  “Foods going to be done in about fifteen minutes if you want to shower.”  Hajime took him up on that offer, taking the time in the shower to pull himself back under control. _

 

_ Loneliness, that’s what it had to be.  Hajime was lonely.  He hadn’t had a relationship since his last boyfriend cheated on him with his old team leader.  Hajime wasn’t a chronic dater like Tooru, he didn’t feel the need to chase one relationship after another but he did enjoy being in relationships.  Dating was difficult with a job like the one he had at the Agency.  His hours were long and he was never sure when he would be called in.  Most people didn’t like being second best to a job, and then there was the whole sexual part of relationships that most people expected to happen sooner or later. _

 

_ Maybe Hajime needed a pet.  He didn’t have time for a dog or cat though.  Perhaps a fish?  Or a turtle. _

 

_ “Are lizards hard to take care of?”  Hajime asked the two sleepy men in the kitchen once he was done with his shower.  If he got a lizard he could call him Godzilla, or Chibizilla. _

 

_ “‘jime it’s too early for this.”  Takahiro complained as a plate full of food was placed in front of him.  Issei put another plate down on the table and motioned Hajime to it.  Hajime sat down, ignoring the warm feeling in his stomach at Takahiro’s mumbled nickname, and started to eat.  Issei was a poor cook, he never had to do anything like that growing up since it was always done for him.  He also had a couple bad experiences with laundry too.  The eggs were overcooked, the bread hardly toasted with far too much jam on them, and the coffee was so strong it made Hajime’s eyes water but he was going to clear his plate because he could feel Issei watching him.  Issei might play off everything as a joke but Hajime knew when he put real effort into doing something. _

 

_ “So we need to have a talk.”  Hajime hummed as he continued eating.  If he put the eggs on top of the toast and made a sort of sandwich it didn’t taste so bad. _

 

_ “A serious talk.”  Issei added on and Hajime raised an eyebrow as he licked some jam off his thumb.  Takahiro and Issei were known for their ‘serious talks’.  The last one, which had been around the time they had joined the Agency, was to sit down Hajime and tell him they had taken a team vote and it was decided he should wear more tank tops.  They had tried to tell him it was for team morale, that his “guns” boosted the team's fighting spirit. _

 

_ “We think you should date us.”  Takahiro said as Hajime contemplated taking another drink of his coffee.  Hajime wasn’t much of a coffee drinker, too many jokes about coffee stunting his height every time he had even so much as looked at it but he had a full day of work ahead, of training the new recruits- _

 

_ “What did you just say?”  Hajime asked sharply, head snapping up as Takahiro’s words finally penetrated his brain.  Takahiro had crossed his arms on the table and he hadn’t even touched anything on his plate, which should have been Hajime’s first sign that something was different.  Takahiro’s appetite was even bigger than Hajime’s, especially since he had begun training to build up muscle. _

 

_ “We want to date you.”  Takahiro tapped his finger against his bicep as he glanced over at Issei before leaning forward a little.  “We’ve tried to be subtle about it but we discussed it and figured the direct way would produce better results.”  Hajime’s mind was blank, he could process any of this. _

 

_ “Are you-” Joking was going to be the end of that question but he bit back the word.  Hajime knew when Takahiro and Issei were joking, they were doing it about 98% of the time but he also knew when they were serious, and asking if they were fucking with him would definitely hurt them.  Hajime would never do that, not even when his mind was reeling because this couldn’t be happening. _

 

_ “You don’t have to answer now.”  Issei spoke up, his soft voice an octave lower than usual.  It was a small tell, something Hajime had picked up only after years of knowing Issei.  His voice went just a little bit lower when he was feeling emotional about something.  Which meant he was feeling emotional about this conversation.  About Hajime? _

 

_ “When-” Hajime cleared his throat and sat up a bit straighter.  “When did all of this- why?”  Hajime scrubbed his hand through his still wet hair, feeling the short strands stick straight up. _

 

_ “We probably got serious about it when, do you remember that super classy guy you last dated?  When we all went out and got drunk afterwards?”  Takahiro asked. _

 

_ “That was years ago.”  That was the last time Hajime had gotten drunk, the first time he had gotten blackout drunk.  He worried about what he had said, or did, but everyone assured him he was fine.  Which made him even more worried because if it truly was fine they would have made fun of him for it. _

 

_ “Well you were getting over him so it wasn’t right when it happened, probably a couple months later.”  Takahiro shrugged and Hajime noticed that he wasn’t making any jokes, wasn’t using a dramatically deadpanned tone or smirking at all. _

 

_ They were serious.  They actually wanted to be with Hajime. _

 

_ “Subtle?”  Hajime asked because it wasn’t a word he would use with either Takahiro or Issei. _

 

_ “We literally just cuddled all night.”  Takahiro put his head down on the table and Issei reached over to rub at the back of his head. _

 

_ “I just thought-” Hajime cut himself off once more and turned his eyes up to the ceiling.  They must have noticed how he felt, he gave himself away when he was drunk and they took inventory of how he acted around them.  They were both scarily observant, though they hid the ability much better than Tooru. _

 

_ “Like I said you don’t have to answer now.”  Issei said with a shrug, eyes a bit distant, voice low.  It was the same tone and look he took when he spoke with his parents and Hajime hated that he was using it to keep Hajime at a distance. _

 

_ “Yes.”  Hajime said, throwing all his insecurities and doubt into a room in his mind to be dealt with later.  Why would he question it?  He never had allowed himself to believe something like this could happen, he was happy just to be around them, to be a close friend and someone they trusted.  He knew they would never throw out that suggestion to be in a relationship without really considering it.  He knew they would no more willingly hurt Hajime than he would hurt them. _

 

_ “What?”  Takahiro’s head popped back up and even Issei looked surprised. _

 

_ “I said yes.”  Hajime crossed his arms over his chest and gave them both a hard look.  “Or are you already taking it back?” _

 

_ “Taking it back?”  Takahiro asked.  “Issei, is he- is he sassing us?” _

 

_ “I believe he is ‘hiro, wherever would he get such an attitude?”  Issei questioned back but there was a real smile on both of their faces.  Takahiro’s consumed his face, a big lopsided grin that revealed a chipped incisor and was all the more charming for the imperfection.  Issei’s was smaller, more subdued but no less blinding in showcasing his genuine happiness. _

 

_ “I can’t believe you tried to woo me.”  Hajime grinned as he leaned forward.  “The thing with the flowers?” _

 

_ “How were we supposed to know they were cursed?”  Takahiro whined. _

 

_ “The sweets?”  Hajime couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it sooner but they had always done small kindnesses where he was concerned. _

 

_ “We didn’t know you were allergic to that.”  Issei defended. _

 

_ “The fish?”  Hajime deadpanned. _

 

_ “That-” Takahiro and Issei shared a look before sighing in union.  “That was a mistake, we admit that.”  Takahiro drummed his fingers against the table before he was up and out of his seat within an instant and in Hajime’s lap, hugging him. _

 

_ Hajime’s breath stuttered out of him as he slowly wrapped his arms around Takahiro because he was allowed to.  He was allowed to touch and stand close to them, he no longer had to hid his feelings and it was a staggering release.  It felt as if his world had tilted suddenly, leaving him stumbling but it was also like he could breath for the first time in years.  So Hajime buried his nose in Takahiro’s neck and curled his arms around him, letting himself just be in the moment. _

 

 

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

 

 

 

Hajime told himself he would let go of Tooru in one moment.  Just one more minute of holding his friend close, of not being separated by oceans and thousands of miles.  Tooru was careful not to push too hard against Hajime’s arm cradled in a sling against his chest, but Hajime wanted to pull him close until it was nearly painful.  He hoped a bit of physical pain would take away some of the emotional agony.

 

Feeling more than a little ridiculous Hajime forced himself to let go.  Neither of them were dying, Tooru was just going home and Hajime would follow him in a couple months time.  Tooru had already taken over two weeks of time off from the Agency and despite what he said, Hajime wouldn’t let his friend damage the reputation he had spent years building from the ground up.  Hajime would take better care of himself, if only never to see the look of hurt in his friend's eyes when he looked at Hajime for the first time in months.

 

“Hajime I need you to do something for me.”  Tooru fixed Hajime’s hair before smoothing out a wrinkle in his sweater.

 

“What is it?”  Hajime asked, letting his friend mother him a bit.  Tooru would most likely ask Hajime to take better care of himself or something like that.  Shower regularly if he was feeling like an ass.

 

“Wait here for like ten minutes.”  Hajime had not been expecting that.  “Promise.”

 

“Okay, okay I promise.”  Hajime gently pushed Tooru’s hands away before taking a step back.  “You really need to go, my English isn’t great but I heard them call boarding for your flight and you still have to go through security.”  A part of Hajime, the selfish dark part he kept hidden to himself, wished that Tooru would miss his flight.

 

“Ten minutes, you promised!”  Tooru called out like they were 7 years old again and not the almost 30 year olds they were.  Hajime sighed and nodded as he waved and watched his friend disappear from view.

 

Hajime waited twenty-three minutes and he probably would have waited even longer if security wasn’t multiplying in numbers around him.  He is about to turn around and head home before his appointment at his clinic when something catches his attention.

 

The height was the first thing that caught Hajime’s attention.  Even slouching he stood over most people, a seafoam green beanie that Hajime knew all too well.  He knew it because he had the exact same beanie, made as a gift from Watari Shinji when he picked up knitting.  He made everyone on the team the same beanie.

 

“Hanamaki?”  Hajime called out, surprised his voice was so even when he felt so off-kilter.  Then it hit him, Tooru, of course it was Tooru.  Tooru who had made such a big deal of having Hajime wait right in that spot after he had left.

 

“Hajime.”  Takahiro made his way over, easily winding through people and coming to stop right in front of him.  He had on a white mask, which he pulled down below his chin as he stared down at Hajime.  He was wearing an oversized sweater that was truly a masterpiece in the fact that it was so ugly, mustard yellows mixed in with puke greens, sleeves different colors and it was about two sizes too big.  His jeans had a hole in the left knee and he was wearing dirty white high-tops.

 

He was the most beautiful thing Hajime had seen in months.

 

“What are you doing here?”  Hajime asked, even though it was obvious.

 

“Thought I’d take in the sights, have myself a mini vacation, no idea you were here.”  Takahiro said with only half his usual amount of sass.  Mostly he looked tired, worried, and a little happy.

 

“I’m glad you’re here.”  Hajime said, honesty pouring out of him before he could control himself because he was glad Takahiro was there.  He was glad he was there and he didn’t look like he hated Hajime.  Takahiro pressed his mask up back over his nose and mouth but Hajime could see the spread of blush along his cheeks before he covered half his face.

 

“You’re so embarrassing ‘jime.”  Takahiro said, though he sounded pleased. 

 

“We should go.”  Hajime motioned Takahiro to follow him as the security guards moved closer.  Takahiro, as observant as always, glanced around at them.  “I don’t know what they think I’m doing.”  Hajime grumbled defensively.

 

“Have you looked in a mirror lately?”  Hajime hid a flinch at that question because he knew Takahiro hadn’t meant it in a cruel way.  “All the weight you lost makes you look like you belong in the yakuza.”  He knew what Takahiro meant.  There hadn’t been much softness about Hajime to begin with but the sudden weight loss made him all sharp and harsh angles with tough looking muscles on his bones with not much else.

 

“Do they know about the yakuza?”  Hajime asked with interest, almost surprised at how easy it was to fall into a conversation with Takahiro.

 

“Americans love stories about gangs but they don’t like to admit they have more than their fair share so they make movies about everyone else's problem children.”  Takahiro was smiling beneath his mask and Hajime felt an answering grin tug at his own lips.  Some of the top teams at the Agency, their main job was keeping the yakuza under control.  There were a lot of disgruntled magic-users and the gangs tended to snatch them up, promising family or money, whatever they wanted.  There hadn’t been a large scale fight between the Agency and Yakuza for about five years, and Hajime was a little glad he had been low on the totem pole and wasn’t even considered to put on the front line.  It had been a rather nasty ordeal.

 

“I can give you the address for my place,” Hajime said as they slid into a cab together.  “That’s if you don’t have a hotel, you can stay at my flat, it’s small but-” Hajime cleared his throat and tried to start again, this time without the rambling.  “I have an appointment at the clinic.”  Hajime thought that Tooru had probably purposely chosen the day Hajime’s appointments were scheduled, so that Takahiro would be there to see the aftermath.  Hajime didn’t appreciate that.

 

“I’ll just go with you.”  Takahiro eased back into the seat, a studied air of nonchalance.  If Hajime hadn’t known him for so long he would have fallen for the act, but he knew Takahiro was digging his heels in for this.

 

“It takes several hours and it’s not as if you can be in the room with me, you’d just be in the waiting room.  You probably want to rest or shower.”  Hajime knew it was a losing argument.  Takahiro wasn’t a stubborn person, in their group of four he was the one to most likely go along with anyone else's plans.  That’s why when he put his foot down on something, the others tended not to argue with him.

 

Hajime didn’t want Takahiro to come with him, he didn’t want anyone really to see him in the state his treatments left him in.  But if Hajime was being completely honest with himself, he’d do just about anything to get Takahiro to stay with him.

 

“That sounds great, I downloaded a bunch of free-mystery books on my phone and was only able to get through about half on the plane.”  Takahiro said, to which Hajime snorted.

 

“Mystery?”  Hajime asked doubtfully.

 

“I suppose some of them could be romance mystery novels, why do you feel the need to label everything?”  Takahiro asked in a deadpan voice which had Hajime laughing.  Takahiro exclusively read romance novels, and he was in deep denial about the genre he loved so much.

 

Hajime mentally went back and forth on giving Takahiro some kind of warning about the after effects of the treatment.  He settled on saying it drained him and made him a bit sick, which was almost so far from the truth that it was a lie, but not quite.  It did drain him and it did make him sick, the extent of which he just edged around.

 

Hajime left Takahiro chatting up the surprised nurse, Hajime himself had barely said three words to her in all the time he had been coming there, and went into the backroom.  Mostly when they needed information they left Tooru to it, but Takahiro was able to reign in his personality a bit when it was needed.  He was a bit more caustic and sarcastic than Tooru, but a lot of people tended to gravitate towards that sort of roughness.  Hajime definitely did.

 

 

 

 

\-------------------

 

 

 

 

_ Hajime wanted nothing more than to get up and leave but manners instilled in him from a young age wouldn’t allow him to.  He couldn’t believe he had unloaded himself verbally and mentally on Daichi like that.  They were friends, they sparred together often and Hajime assisted the newly formed Karasuno from time to time but they weren’t that close.  They were grab some ramen during lunch and gripe about their respective teams close not let me bare my soul to you close. _

 

_ There was something steady and completely non judgemental about Daichi though and before Hajime had formed any coherent thought, he was word vomiting all over.  Mostly he just wanted to apologize and ask if Daichi could forget about everything.  Daichi was kind enough to agree to it if that was really what Hajime wanted.  But that wasn’t really what he wanted, what he wanted was help and some answers. _

 

_ Hajime had been in love with Issei and Takahiro for years and he had barely been in a relationship with them a couple months before the crushing doubts and worries came crashing into him.  He didn’t think it would be so horribly bad if all his past relationships hadn’t ended on such spectacularly terrible notes.  His last relationship had ended with his boyfriend cheating on him with his team leader, who tried to get him off of the team.  That had been unpleasant and had scared Hajime away from dating just about anyone else after that. _

 

_ All of Hajime’s relationships had ended before the half year mark.  He didn’t want that for this one though, he wanted it to work out more than he had wanted anything before.  Perhaps even more than he had wanted to join the Agency. _

 

_ Hajime had thought eventually he would become sexually attracted to Issei and Takahiro.  He loved them and it was the natural progression of most romantic relationships, or at least that’s what he had been lead to believe.  He also knew that they were sexually active together, and had been with other people in the past. _

 

_ “Iwaizumi, hey sorry I’m late.”  Daichi walked over to the table with a warm smile and a tall shadow behind him.  “Ah sorry, this is Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Tanaka this is Iwaizumi Hajime.  I think you two should talk, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.  I’ll be over there.”  Daichi gave a hard slap to Ryuunosuke’s back before walking over to the counter. _

 

_ Tooru always complained that Hajime looked like a brute, like someone who was itching for a fight.  Hajime couldn’t help it, it was his resting face that scared quite a few people.  Tanaka Ryuunosuke had that same aura.  He was muscular but on the lean side, though Hajime knew he was a fierce hand-to-hand combat fighter.  He was tall with a shaved head and a smile like a shark's, full of sharp teeth and willing to bite. _

 

_ “Yo.”  Ryuunosuke sat down, eyes narrowing slightly as if he was working something over.  “Sawamura’s never asked me for a favor before.”  Hajime was surprised to see the look of pride in the other mans face, and something loosened inside him.  Daichi had spoken of Ryuunosuke several times.  The younger man was loud, quick to anger, and rambunctious but he was also fiercely loyal and had a huge heart.  Hajime might not know the man sitting across from him but he knew Daichi well enough to know that he wouldn’t throw Hajime to the wolves.  If Daichi thought Ryuunosuke could help than it was worth a try. _

 

_ “I don’t really know-” Hajime waved his hand a little, trying to find the words to describe the depths of things he didn’t know.  Hajime was a private person, he didn’t go around discussing his relationship with anyone let alone a stranger but desperate times call for desperate measures. _

 

_ “Maybe just spit it out?”  Ryuunosuke said, not unkindly and his tensed shoulders seemed to relax a bit as Hajime nodded. _

 

_ “I uh- I’m dating two people.”  Hajime was surprised when Ryuunosuke sat up straighter at this, leaning forward.  It wasn’t like he was interested in knowing gossip, but like he was truly listening.  “And I have a small problem.”  Hajime could feel his face grow hot because how was he suppose to to explain this? _

 

_ “Hold on, I think I might know why Sawamura wanted you to talk to me.”  Ryuunosuke pulled out a battered looking phone, shooting Hajime an apologetic look before he started to type something into it.  Hajime was half surprised when he got a text only seconds later.  “I’ve got the okay, I don’t really talk about my relationship but they said it was alright.  I’ve got two girlfriends, which I don’t keep private because they are just the most amazing people, but in the beginning it was kind of difficult for us. _

 

_ You don’t want to push anyone too far and I always wanted to respect their boundaries.  One of them, she’s one of the strongest people I know but she’s had it real tough in the past and I didn’t want to add to that, ya know?  But it’s hard to talk about stuff, especially in the beginning when it’s new and you’re just so happy to be there.  But you worry, which sounds so stupid because you’ve got this great relationship but here you are, worrying.”  Hajime nodded along and was surprised to think that Ryuunosuke might actually know what Hajime was going through. _

 

_ “I don’t-” Hajime looked around and cleared his throat once more, fingers curling into fists against his thighs.  “I love them, I know that, but there are certain expectations that come with a relationship, especially the longer you are in that relationship.” _

 

_ “And you can’t fulfill those expectations?”  Ryuunosuke asked to which Hajime nodded.  Ryuunosuke grinned, big and wide and a little goofy.  It made his tough guy appearance melt away.  “One of my girlfriends, she doesn’t do that either.  She said she’s asexual, and it’s different for everyone the same way sexuality is different for everyone.”  Ryuunosuke’s cheeks were pink but he continued on despite his embarrassment.  “Some people just don’t get those feelings.” _

 

_ Asexual.  Hajime wasn’t dumb, he had heard that before but he had just never given it any thought when it came to himself.  He was always positive that it would happen when he met the right person, when the timing was right, when he was in love but part of him always knew it for the lie it was.  It somehow felt equal parts freeing and constraining finding out what he was, what was apart of him.  Freeing because he knew other people experienced the same thing as him, constraining because now he couldn’t fool himself into thinking that it would happen eventually. _

 

_ “And you- you and your other girlfriend are okay with that?”  Hajime asked hesitantly. _

 

_ “Of course, we’re not assholes.”  Ryuunosuke leaned on the table.  “There’s nothing wrong with having a relationship that’s all about, you know, that but only when all parties involved are consenting to it.  I would never push Shimizu into anything she didn’t want to do, neither would Hitoka.  I love her, I love just being around her and I’m grateful when she willingly holds my hand or kisses my cheek.  I love that she’s smart, like crazy intelligent, but she’s really shy and a bit awkward sometimes.  I love that she’s got this big heart and she’s so kind, and yeah I love that she’s beautiful too.  I love her no matter what.  That doesn’t change just because she doesn’t want to sleep with me.” _

 

_ Something shook loose in Hajime’s chest, allowing him to take what felt like his first breath of fresh air in several months. _

 

_ “You just got to talk it out and they have to respect it, even if they get those feelings that you don’t.  If they can’t accept that then honestly man, fuck them.  I mean don’t- don’t literally, you know, fuck them because that would be the opposite of the point you’re trying to make but like, fuck them right?  They can fuck right off.”  Hajime was laughing at the end of Ryuunosuke’s speech, who was grinning widely once more before a hand clamped down on his shoulder. _

 

_ “Please stop swearing, you’re drawing attention.”  Daichi spoke in an almost scarily pleasant tone.  Ryuunosuke sat up straighter, eyes going wide and Hajime thought he wouldn’t be able to see Ryuunosuke as scary anymore.  “Here, take this back to the team, it’s my treat.”  Daichi placed two full bags onto the table before rubbing Ryuunosuke’s head. _

 

_ “Thank you.”  Hajime called out as Ryuunosuke took off running, a prideful look in his eyes.  “He should join Aoba Johsai.” _

 

_ “You’re hilarious.”  Daichi slid into the chair Ryuunosuke had previously occupied.  “Did it help?  It sounded like you and Tanaka had gone through similar problems and he would be better suited to help.” _

 

_ “Yeah, I owe you one.”  Hajime said honestly. _

 

_ “Good, you can pay for lunch because I just spent my last paycheck on feeding my team.”  Daichi grabbed the menu, though he always got the same thing every time they went there.  “Stop laughing, they are eating me out of house and home.” _

 

_ “Like you’re one to talk.”  Hajime grumbled as he took a sip of his, now cold, tea. _

 

_ “Are you calling me fat?”  Daichi asked, partially serious which just made Hajime laugh harder. _

 

_ Hajime has to wait the rest of the day to be able to speak to Takahiro and Issei.  It makes him impatient but he knows it’s a conversation they have to have in relative privacy and without the fear of being interrupted.  So he waits until Issei and him are off work, and are sitting down to eat dinner in Tooru’s confiscated office with Takahiro, who has the night shift. _

 

_ “Hey I have something to talk to you two about.”  Hajime said after most of the food had been consumed.  He had been running through different ways to phrase what he needed to say but it all sounded equally bad in his head, so he figured he should just come out and say it.  Takahiro and Issei look at him expectantly.  “I uh- have been putting this off for a while.”  Because he was afraid of this ending.  He didn’t want his relationship with them to be over before it’s really begun.  “But I don’t really feel sexually attraction, to anyone and the chances of me having sex are kind of slim.” _

 

_ If Hajime hadn’t been watching their body posture so closely, a coward's way of avoiding their eyes, he wouldn’t have noticed how both of them suddenly relaxed.  That was not the reaction he had been expecting so he looked up towards their faces and saw the tail-end of a look they were sharing. _

 

_ “You already knew, how did you- when?”  Hajime put his mostly empty plate down to rub at his head.  He suddenly felt exhausted, having been so tense and on edge for such a long time and now that it was over he just wanted to sleep. _

 

_ “We kind of guessed it back in high school.”  Takahiro said, sounding slightly apologetic.  Hajime let out a soft laugh as he settled back in his seat.  “Is that why you’ve been acting so weird the past couple days?” _

 

_ “All my past relationships have ended around this same time when I tried to tell them what I told you.”  Hajime tried to shrug it off, like it hadn’t hurt or bruised him in any way.  It’s not as if it shaped the person he was, he wouldn’t give them that sort of power of him, but he did have low moments where he wondered if there was something wrong with him. _

 

_ “They’re idiots.”  Issei spoke up, uncharastically harsh and serious. _

 

_ “They are, who gets to date you and then breaks up over something so trivial as sex?”  Takahiro agreed and Hajime felt his face grow hot, but the pink haired man wasn’t done just yet.  “Have we been doing anything to make you feel like we’re pressuring you?”  He asked, tone worried and eyes concerned.  Hajime could honestly say they hadn’t.  Anything physical had been left up to Hajime to initiate or push further and once he realized that he felt like a fool. _

 

_ “No, I guess I was just overthinking things.”  Hajime smiled, relief making him relax.  “You really don’t mind?” _

 

_ “We don’t care if you want to have sex with us, as long as you want to be with us.”  Issei shrugged and Hajime rubbed at his face, wishing away a blush he knew was rising to his cheeks. _

 

_ “Anything more than kissing we’ll leave up to you.”  Takahiro reached over to pile more food onto his empty plate.  “If you want to go beyond that we’ll be happy to assist, but if not then we’re still happy.” _

 

_ Hajime leaned forward and laid a soft kiss on the corner of Takahiro’s smiling mouth.  The other man looked at him with surprise. _

 

_ “How scandalous.”  Issei’s flat voice spoke up. _

 

_ “Hajime I am working, this is unacceptable behavior, I need to talk to your manager right now.”  Takahiro said, though he leaned forward for another kiss, which Hajime dodged before standing up. _

 

_ “Well if that’s how you feel then I guess I should go home.”  Hajime tossed his trash away. _

 

_ “What?  Mattsun you too?”  Takahiro sputtered as Issei stood up to follow Hajime out. _

 

_ “A bed with my boyfriend who does not hog all the pillows is calling my name, don’t you hear it Makki?”  Issei asked, sliding his palm against Hajime’s before lacing their fingers together. _

 

_ “Rude!”  Takahiro called out. “And you’ve left me with the clean up!”  They heard him shout as they walked down the hall together, laughing. _

 

 

 

 

\-----------------------

 

 

 

 

Hajime woke up to a wave of nausea he fought down.  He was pretty sure there was nothing left in his stomach to throw up anymore and honestly, he was pretty sick of throwing up all together.  It took him a moment to sort out a soft but angry voice from the buzzing in his pounding skull.

 

Takahiro.  Hajime had almost forgotten the other man was there, in his flat with him.  Hajime barely remembered even getting home but he did remember leaning heavily against Takahiro, the man a solid weight beside him.

 

“-don’t understand!”  Takahiro hissed out from the kitchen.  It was the furthest spot away from the bed, since it was an open floor plan and it wasn’t very large to begin with Hajime could hear everything Takahiro said without straining.  The shades were tightly closed and all the lights had been turned off except for a single one above the stove.

 

“They didn’t even try and talk to him!  His English is fine as long as they slowed down but apparently that’s too much to ask.”  Takahiro was bent over on the counter, his back towards Hajime as he pressed a phone to his ear.  Hajime didn’t know who he was talking to, most likely Tooru or Issei, but he did know Takahiro was talking about him.  “The translator, and I’m using that term very loosely, was a complete joke.  They’ve been doing this procedure, this extremely invasive and painful procedure, for months now Issei because they were too  _ fucking stupid to ask him the questions themselves _ .”

 

There was a long pause where most likely Issei was attempting to calm Takahiro down.

 

“They are siphoning his magic for the treatment and they’ve been doing it for months, once a week for months and no one bothered to tell him that!”  Takahiro stood up straight and looked over at Hajime.  It must be too dark near the bed for Takahiro to realize that Hajime was already awake because he continued on, in a much quieter tone.  “They are using all his magic to try and get the arm to attach to him and they are doing this once a week Issei.  The receptionist said the most they had done it before Hajime was four times.  He had his twelve appointment today and they just keep doing it and he’s- Tooru was downplaying how he looks.  He’s lost so much weight and he just looks as if he’s given up and you can tell he thinks everything is his fault, he doesn’t even consider that it’s this damn treatment.”

 

Hajime closed his eyes against another wave of nausea as he tried to work out what Takahiro was saying.  He did remember the other man yelling at the translator but he had been trying his hardest not to pass out, and they had been talking quickly in English so he hadn’t gotten what the argument was about.

 

“I know,” Takahiro sighed, bending over as he listened to Issei on the other line, nodding despite the fact that the other man couldn’t see him.  “I understand.  I will, I love you.”  There were a few more words shared before Takahiro hung up.

 

Hajime kept his eyes closed while he tried to get his mind to think through what he had just heard but he couldn’t quite understand it fully.  Important information was still missing and he was too tired and hurt to get up and ask Takahiro to explain the bits he had missed.  Apparently he had missed a lot while feeling sorry for himself.

 

The bed dipped down under additional weight and Hajime could feel the height radiating off of Takahiro as he carefully slid closer.  Hajime wanted to tell the other man he could come closer if he wanted, but he wasn’t sure if he had that right anymore so he stayed silent instead.

 

“How much of that did you hear?”  Takahiro’s voice was quiet in the dark flat.  Hajime wasn’t sure what time it really was but he could hear the familiar noises from outside.  Cars and people, a dog barking down the street.

 

“Just the tail end I think.”  Hajime would have rolled over onto his back if he thought he could make that move without passing out.  Takahiro slid a little closer and Hajime finally made an impatient noise.  Takahiro laughed under his breath before slotting his body behind Hajime’s, careful of the injured arm as he curled a long arm around Hajime.  Hajime relaxed against the familiar body behind him, long and lean with a surprising amount of muscle.  People were always so surprised at how strong Takahiro was.  It was a combination of baggy clothes and allowing people to belief the misconception, Takahiro enjoyed being underestimated.

 

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.”  Takahiro said, breath warm against Hajime’s neck.

 

“It’s just part of the procedure right?”  Hajime asked in confusion.

 

“Not that many times.”  Takahiro’s fingers curled against Hajime’s stomach but he continued on before Hajime could question him.  “Most people can only afford one or two treatments, and it usually sticks after that.  You get movement and feeling back but since they have an open tab for you and you didn’t show any progress they decided to see how much money they could-” Takahiro did his best impression of a human growl, a low throat noise that would have worried Hajime if he hadn’t been stuck on what Takahiro had said.

 

“But I can move and I do have feeling.”  Hajime spoke up before Takahiro could work himself into a real rage.

 

“What?”  Takahiro propped himself up to look down at Hajime.

 

“Look.”  Hajime looked down at his fingers and a moment later they twitched and curled.  “It’s kind of like they are on a delay but I can move most of my hand.  I think I can move my elbow too but it hurts too much to experiment with it.  I have feeling too, not much, it’s really distant but it’s there.”  Hajime looked up at Takahiro whose eyes were blown wide.

 

“Since when?”

 

“The third treatment I think.”  Hajime answered.  “What does that mean?”

 

“It means they’ve been putting you through hell for nothing!  Hajime, the treatment worked!  They shouldn’t have kept doing it, didn’t someone ask you anything?”  Takahiro was up and pacing.

 

“They did the first time but it was painful and it was hard to understand what they were saying.  They just talked to the translator after that.  He didn’t ask me much.”  Hajime forced himself to sit up and fought a wave of nausea.

 

“I’ll kill him.”  Takahiro swore.

 

“What?”  Hajime laughed despite the fact that he was pretty positive that Takahiro wasn’t joking at all.

 

“They are paying him but if the treatment is successful, he stops getting paid.”  Hajime wasn’t laughing anymore.  “You should be going through therapy not this- this medieval torture!”  Takahiro went through all the swear words he knew, then added a few from the various languages he also knew.  It was a long list and didn’t seem to calm him down in the least.

 

“I could have come home?”  Hajime asked, disgusted by how broken his voice was.  Takahiro stopped his cursing and pacing to look over at Hajime before walking over to him swiftly.  His fingers shook slightly as he reached out to cup Hajime’s face, hesitating just briefly before contact and that broke Hajime’s heart a little.  Takahiro had never hesitated to initiate contact before, even during the beginning stages of their relationship.  “Takahiro, how do you not hate me?  Why are you here?”

 

“Hate you?”  Takahiro pressed his fingers into Hajime’s temples, just a quick pressure before releasing him to smooth his thumbs over Hajime’s stubbled cheeks.  “Where ever I have gone I never had to make friends myself, people just approached me.  Some with good intentions, some not so much but I never had to make the effort.  Even with Issei and Tooru it was simple, but you, you Iwaizumi Hajime made me put actual thought and energy into befriending someone.  I couldn’t understand it then because I was 15 and stupid but I do now, because even back then I knew you were someone I wanted in my life, for the rest of my life.  Do you understand me?  I am not letting you go that easily, you’re going to have to try a lot damn harder to get rid of me.”

 

Hajime something hot slide down his cheeks and only then did he realize he was crying.  But that was alright because so was Takahiro.

 

“I have two boyfriends and both of them are idiots.”  Takahiro complained, letting his tears fall.  “One boyfriend thinks everything is his fault because he suggested leaving the juniors behind and it’s his parents who blackmailed the other boyfriend, and the second boyfriend thinks it’s his fault for doing the one thing to save his parents.”

 

“You know?”  Hajime asked, reaching up with his left hand to holding Takahiro’s trembling hand against his face.

 

“Of course we know, we’re lazy not stupid.”  Takahiro sighed.  “I also know why you didn’t come to us with it either.  You knew what Issei would do to protect you, to protect your parents.”

 

“He’s worked so hard to stay out of his parents lifestyle.”  Hajime said softly but Takahiro was already shaking his head.

 

“It’s not your choice to make.”  Takahiro said instantly.

 

“I didn’t want him to have to make a choice.”  Hajime frowned.  “Hiro please tell me he didn’t do anything.”

 

“Not yet but he’s about to.”  Takahiro was shaking his head as Hajime tried to get up.

 

The Matsukawa’s were nothing like Hajime’s own parents.  They weren’t warm and supportive and kind, they didn’t believe their children could do anything.  Issei was deemed worthless when they believed he didn’t have the Clairvoyant gift the rest of the family possessed, a gift that had made them very wealthy and powerful over the centuries.  Issei had very purposely pretended that he didn’t have that power, even though Hajime suspected his was more powerful than any of his siblings.  Hajime had understood what Issei would be giving up if he stepped in on Hajime’s behalf.

 

“He’s taking Tooru with him, and you know our captain.”  Takahiro grinned, it wasn’t a very nice look.  Tooru never purposely used his own demonic gifts for his benefit, but he had no problem using them to protect his friends and family.  The Matsukawa’s wouldn’t know what hit them.

 

“He finally told Oikawa he’s a Clairvoyant?”  Tooru must be overjoyed.  Hajime rubbed tiredly at his face.  “Does this mean I can come home?”

 

“Please.”  Takahiro said quickly.  “Please come home.”  Hajime felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders at those words.  All was not settled, there were many things they would all have to deal with but for now Hajime pulled Takahiro back into bed with him and he slept peacefully for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was only suppose to be four chapters long but I really didn't want to leave it like that (plus this chapter was already 30 pages long) so there will be one more chapter (without flashbacks) to round out Hajime's story!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for your patience and I hope you enjoy the rest of this story!!


	5. The Best

Hajime walks into the Agency building for the first time in half a year.  It’s only been a little over six months but it feels like a lifetime ago that he was there.  The receptionist desk is empty, as usual.  Hajime could never tell if it’s because they could never keep a receptionist or the fact that the receptionist knew they were the first line of defense if an attack were ever to occur, so they made sure to always be elsewhere.  Hajime had been in a couple of the other Agency buildings and Section One always had at least five receptionists behind a long counter with sparkling new computers set up in front of them.

 

Hajime prefers the small, mostly empty desk with a framed picture of Satomi Ishihara and a smile pile of used sticky notes.  The picture changes constantly, Hajime thinks it must be a rite of passage mission for the new juniors of each year to change it without being seen.

 

The corridor beyond the receptionist desk is a short one with the elevators to the left and pictures with corresponding names to the left.  At the end of it is the canteen with its food that varies greatly in taste depending on how the cook is feeling that day.  Hajime stops at the pictures, near the end.

 

Each Agency building has it’s own wall.  Section One is engraved and sparkling, but here in Section Five it’s just a clean wall with simple picture frames that don’t really match up to the others around them.  The plaques with the names of their fallen members are nailed into the wall below the pictures.

 

Yamagata Hayato was near the end.  His brown hair cut into an undercut despite company regulations, which no one really followed after their first year with the Agency.  His dark eyebrows were slanted slightly, giving him an everlasting glare but Hajime had worked enough with the other man to know he was smiling more often than not.  He had always been working with his juniors, making sure they had the skills to defend themselves and the people around them.  He had been a Guardian, a highly sought after and valuable magic user that leaned heavily towards defensive magic.  He had joined the Agency quite late for most people, opting to go to university first.  He had only been a member of Shiratorizawa for a little over two years before his death.  Hajime remembered Yamagata always rushing around the building, looking for his misplaced phone.

 

The next picture is Moniwa Kaname.  He looks worried in his picture and it almost makes Hajime laugh because there wasn’t anyone in the Agency who worried more than Kaname did.  Hajime often thought Kaname was far too kind for their line of work, he was always concerned and worried for everyone, even those not on his team.  Hajime had seen the way the rest of Datekou had admired and loved their leader though.  Many people believed because of his small build timid behavior that Kaname didn’t have Giant blood in him like the rest of his team, but Kaname had revealed he did.  It was a small amount, and it was only revealed when he fought or by the quickness he healed when injured.

 

Next to that was Kinoshita Hisashi.  He looked bored in his picture, eyebrows high up on his forehead.  Hajime had always seen the younger man as timid, but Daichi had laughed when he admitted that.  According to Daichi, Hisashi had been quite sly though not confident in his ability.  Though he never failed to come through for the team when they needed him most, despite never performing well on fitness tests or in the gym.

 

The final picture was Sawamura Daichi.  Even resting his face looked like it was just about to smile and it hurt to look at the picture.  Daichi had been the ground beneath his team's feet, steady and sure in all things and now they were left without that foundation.  Daichi’s unwavering belief in his team had never surprised Hajime, despite his own concerns regarding Karasuno.  The team had been given to Daichi as a punishment, but he had turned it into something great and worthy in only a couple of years.  Some people might say that he rested on the skills of his juniors, on the fact that his best friends had more skills than him and were loyal enough to go to Karasuno, but Hajime knew better.  Daichi brought out the best in people, when he believed in something, when he believed in  _ someone _ other people believed in them too.  He instilled confidence in everyone around him.  It was undeniable that his juniors were powerful, but they would not be where they were if Daichi hadn’t put his faith in them, hadn’t believed they could do anything.

 

Hajime missed Sawamura Daichi more than anything, more than his own right arm.  He missed his cunning attitude and sly sarcastic humor that most people overlooked.  He missed Tuesday lunches with the other man.  He missed him.

 

“Ah, Iwaizumi, it’s good to see you.”  Hajime stops himself from jumping at the gravelly-low voice and turns to look at his former mentor, and the leader of Aoba Johsai, Irihata Nobuteru.

 

“Sir,” Hajime bowed politely.

 

“I imagine you’re here for Hanamaki, they had a confrontation in the sewers so it might be a while until he’s properly sanitized.”  Nobuteru, as usual, looks amused at the information and Hajime finds himself smiling a little.  Tooru and Takahiro must be throwing a fit of having to go down into the sewers, again.  “Come, have a drink with me.”  Hajime follows his former boss to the elevators and up to the top floor where all the high ups offices are.

 

Nobuteru’s office is large, with a huge beautifully hand carved desk being the first thing that pulls a person's attention.  Everything is neat and orderly, even the books look color coordinated on the shelves that span the left and right wall.  There’s a large window behind the desk, with the shade pulled halfway down to stop the sun from shining directly into the office.

 

Nobuteru moves around the desk and bends down to pull open a drawer, putting two crystal glasses onto the desk before pulling out a bottle with amber liquid inside.  Hajime never had the taste for alcohol but he wouldn’t turn down a drink from his former mentor.  Nobuteru might seem uninvolved to an outsider but Hajime knew it was because the man trusted his team, trusted them to make their own decisions and did not want their abilities to be hampered by anyone else.

 

“Thank you.”  Hajime accepted the glass easily and took the offered chair as Nobuteru sat down on his own.  He smiled above the rim of his glass.

 

“Something on your mind Iwaizumi?”  Nobuteru asked.  Hajime wasn’t sure if it was because the older man was amazingly observant or some sort of magical ability but he always seemed to know whenever one of his people needed to talk.

 

“I was just wondering why I was never offered a position in the office.”  Hajime wasn’t great at research, he did it when he had to but he mostly left it to those members of his team who were hired specifically for that job.  But he knew he wasn’t dumb, he had years of useful knowledge stored in his head.  Even though he wasn’t field-ready he could still be of some use to the Agency.

 

“Do you know Mizoguchi’s main job, Iwaizumi?”  Nobuteru asked, which surprised Hajime but he shook his head anyways.  “It’s recruitment.  It’s his job, and the job of others in the same position, to go look for people who show potential to be Agency members.  Most of resources come from high schools, I believe that’s where you met Mizoguchi for the first time.  It was the first time he was sent out to recruit anyone, you were actually his first.  As in anything else in life, you remember your first.  The problem here is that this job is dangerous, as you know.  As we all know, and your first sometimes gets horribly injured or even dies.”  Hajime stared down into the amber colored drink as he takes in what Nobuteru is saying.

 

“So when Mizoguchi’s first gets injured, but is still left alive, he takes the opportunity to try and push him out of such a dangerous job.”  Nobuteru smiled, a small kind look.  “Is it right?  No, but even someone as removed as Mizoguchi has his moments of weakness.  We are not suppose to show favoritism, you understand?  But it is human nature, and you have always been a favorite of his.  You are an adult now but Mizoguchi will perhaps always see the 17 year old boy, defending his friend behind a darkly light school building and accepting blame without spouting out excuses.”  Hajime wasn’t even surprised that Nobuteru knew the details of his first meeting with Sadayuki.  However Hajime was surprised that he had made such an impression on Sadayuki.

 

“I didn’t know.”  Hajime said, his voice rough.

 

“You will always have a job here Iwaizumi.”  Nobuteru pulled out a manilla folder and handed it over to Hajime.  “There’s a couple openings that I think would suit you.  I think you would do wonderful with the new recruits.”  Hajime nodded, accepting the folder automatically before swallowing down the alcohol, which burned his throat.

 

“Thank you sir.”  Hajime stood up and bowed deeply.

 

“No, thank you Iwaizumi.”  Nobuteru said before laughing.  “I think you should go back downstairs, someone is probably looking for you.”  Hajime bowed once more before making his way out of the office, the folder held tightly in his hand.

 

Everyone is waiting for him on the main floor.  By everyone, Hajime means the whole of Aoba Johsai.  Even Watari Shinji, who is almost always found in the buildings med room is there with a big smile on his brown face.  Shinji was still considered a member of the team, even if he had been working in the medical unit for years now.  He had been the team's Guardian and had gotten horribly injured during an assignment years back, it had landed him out of the field and into a wheelchair.  Shinji had worked hard to save Hajime’s life, who had gone into shock on the way to the Agency after his poisoned arm had been removed.

 

Yahaba Shigeru was also there, lightly teasing Kyoutani Kentarou.  Hajime was only a little surprised to see both of them smiling a little at each other.  From the small bits and pieces Hajime had gathered from Kentarou, he was pretty sure they were dating but keeping it a secret.  Kindaichi Yuutarou and Kunimi Akira were standing next to each other, Akira with a sleepy-bored look and Yuutarou paying close attention to whatever Tooru was ranting about.

 

Issei and Takahiro noticed Hajime first, both turning to smile at him as he walked down the hall.

 

“What’s going on?”  Hajime asked with a little smile of his own.

 

“Our date has been hijacked.”  Takahiro complained, but Hajime thought it was mostly for sure.  “Apparently it’s now a group outing.”

 

“You get to see Iwaizumi all the time.”  Kentarou muttered as he shifted a little closer to Hajime, who handed off the folder to Tooru so he could rub affectionately at Kentarou’s short hair.  Kentarou made a grumbly noise, tilting his head just slightly to accommodate Hajime’s shorter height.

 

“I always knew Ken would try to steal our dearest Iwaizumi away.”  Takahiro said.

 

“He must be stopped.”  Issei agreed, tone flat as usual.

 

Hajime wasn’t sure what exactly happened with the Matsukawa’s, just that Issei had gone with Tooru to make a deal.  Now Issei worked three times a week for his family, doing what Hajime didn’t know just yet but he was determined to find out, and worked at the Agency as a consultant.   It was obvious the team still considered him apart of them, but Hajime worried just what Issei had promised to make his family leave Hajime’s family alone.  It was a sore subject between them, but something Hajime was going to find out about.

 

“So!  We’ve been discussing where to go and we figured out the perfect place.”  Tooru said as he snapped the folder close, giving Hajime a sharp look that he knew meant they would discuss the contents later.  It had been why Hajime handed the folder over in the first place, he wanted Tooru’s opinion on the jobs inside of it.

 

“Where’s that?”  Hajime asked, reaching with his left hand to adjust the sling so it wasn’t digging right into his collarbone anymore.  He had regained more feeling and movement in his arm, but the rehab was slow-going and he was still told to keep it in a sling so the arm wouldn’t pull at the incision spot.

 

“Too hard to explain, best just to follow us.”  Takahiro took his left hand with a smirk before pulling him, gently, along.  Shigeru pushed Shinji behind them, discussing where they should eat after their small field trip.

 

“Don’t any of you have jobs?”  Hajime grumbled, though truthfully he was feeling so warm inside it was a bit embarrassing.

 

“We got permission from Irihata for an extended dinner break.”  Yuutarou said, sounding worried as if Hajime actually believed they would all skip out on work.

 

“So Oikawa’s taking us out to dinner after we go to this mysterious place?”  Hajime asked, causing Tooru to sputter indignantly and whine about his bank account, that was surely to take a great hit after supplying food for his team.

 

Hajime feels wary when he realizes in what direction they are all walking.  It can only be one place they are heading to when they start to get into an area that only the brave and the very desperate live in.  All large cities have the same areas within the confines of their borders.  Areas that are a little more dark than the others, that make a person's heart rate pick up, make them move a little faster to get out.  Areas that seem to attract the worst of the worst.  One of Tokyo’s darker areas is fairly near to Section Fives Agency building.  It use to fall onto Karasuno’s shoulder to handle any calls that came out of that area, but since Karasuno was out of commision the calls had been divided amongst the other teams.  There were a lot of calls that came from here.

 

It was also the place where so many lives were lost.  Where Sawamura Daichi died, where Hajime lost his arm and nearly his own life.  Hajime did not want to return to that place of death and darkness, but he trusted the people around him.

 

Hajime’s fingers tightened around Takahiro’s as they neared the building they had fought in many months ago.  Takahiro gave him a quick squeeze back but continued on with his conversation with Tooru.

 

The odd thing was Hajime didn’t feel his heart racing from anything besides nerves.  His instincts weren’t telling him to leave the area, he didn’t feel the crowding darkness he had the last time he had been there which was odd- no it was wrong.

 

Dark magic, especially the death magic that had been used in the area should have left a lasting mark.  Death magic always left an ugly scar upon the earth, an area that was a breeding ground for everything dark and nasty in the world.  There were such places all over the world, areas where anything living stayed far away from.

 

People were walking around them though, seemed to be heading to the same building they were which was shocking.  No one should be allowed near that building, the Agency should have quarantined it off.  Death magic didn’t fade away in just a couple months, it should have taken centuries to even become safe to be around.

 

Except as they neared Hajime saw there it was covered in green.  Nothing should be able to grow there, nothing had grown there.  It was the middle of Tokyo, but lush green grass spread out from the building and the actual building itself was slowly being consumed by thick ivy.

 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”  Hajime said as they entered the very same building that so many Agents had lost their lives in.

 

There was a tree, a huge tree that definitely had not been there before.  It didn’t look twisted by dark magic either.  It looked healthy and beautiful, and yes, a little magical too.  The trunk and branches were almost black, a very dark brown and contrasted beautifully with the bright green leafs and the little pink and white flowers.

 

“Nobody can explain it.”  Tooru said as the whole group broke apart, spreading out around the tree.  It was then that Hajime realized there was a good amount of people already in the warehouse.  Children playing, some people having a picnic, there was a small pile of things near the base of the tree.

 

“People are already writing papers on it, there’s researchers coming from all over the world.”  Takahiro explained.  “The Agency is being tight-lipped but sooner or later they’ll find out who was there and what happened here.”  Hajime thought that they would be bombarded with questions after that.

 

Hajime knew next to nothing about Death magic.  It was forbidden in most places, and heavily punishable to study or perform in Japan.  He knew death magic had been performed here, he knew Sawamura Daichi had been apart of that magic but he didn’t know enough about the magic to know any of the logistics.  What he did know was that Sawamura Daichi was a good person.  He was loyal and strong and true.  He used his own death to protect his people, his friends and family, the whole entirety of Japan because the creatures they had faced were ancient and stronger than them.

 

Hajime didn’t know much about death magic except that it was inherently evil but what happened when a truly good person used an evil magic for good purposes?

 

“It’s magic, it’s purified the entire area and it’s still growing.”  Issei said after a long moment of silence.  “Sometimes it reacts to people.”  Hajime had noticed that, noticed that huge thick roots had pulled themselves back into the ground, the ground itself evening out as Shigeru had pushed Shinji’s wheelchair over to an empty spot, Kentarou trailing quietly behind.

 

Hajime’s hand fell away from Takahiro’s, finally realizing the reason he had been brought here.  It was for closure.  Hajime had passed out with the battle over and Daichi still alive and woken up to a world where Daichi was dead.  It had been sudden and awful, on top of an already horrible day.

 

Hajime walked towards the small pile of objects at the base of the tree.  There was a big red ball, a small teddy bear, a single arrow, a pair of converse, and other objects.  There was also several pictures, most of whom hadn’t been at the battle that had taken place in that very same spot.  Hajime did see a picture of Daichi though, a group shot where he’s center frame in the middle of Asahi and Koushi, all three laughing about something unknown.

 

Hajime continues to walk around the tree, finding a slightly secluded spot near the back.  He stares up at the dark branches and the brightly colored leaves.  The pretty little flowers a nice contrast to everything.

 

“I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation,” Hajime spoke softly.  “We were taught ghosts were like footprints left on a sandy beach, just an echo of the person that left them behind.  Souls and spirits don’t remain on this planet after death and I don’t think- but maybe even if just a piece of you made it into this tree I think that’s enough.”  Hajime sighed, feeling a little stupid talking to a tree but a soft breeze pushed slightly against him so he continued.

 

“I don’t know what to say Daichi, besides I miss you and I kind of feel like an asshole for the reasoning, because it’s all selfish.  I keep wanting to call you or visit your office because I need help, I need advice and how fucked up is that?  You’re d-dead and all I can think about is what I need.  I keep complaining about my arm and I have no idea how to help Tooru out with Suga and that’s just- it’s not supposed to matter right?  Not when you’re dead, but here I am, big asshole wishing you were around so I could get some advice.”  Hajime smiles but he knows it’s a harsh look.

 

“I need your help and you’re not here, and I know that makes me a selfish bastard but- we need you.  So I’m really sorry to disturb your afterlife but if you hear this, if you can do anything at all, please at least help Suga.  He’s having a hard time with this, and he needs-” Hajime closes his eyes and prays hard, prays for help or guidance or- something.

 

_ Anything. _

 

Hajime hears something crack and looks up just in time to see a large branch crashing down on him.

  
  
  
  


\-------------------

  
  
  
  


Hajime finds himself sitting in a very familiar restaurant.  It was the one Daichi and he always met at for a shared meal.  It was cheap and near the Agency, but the food was always good and the company better.

 

The problem was when Hajime looked a meter or so beyond his usual table it all kind of went fuzzy around the edges.  It was a little bright but when he looked out the window it didn’t look like anything existed beyond the sidewalk.

 

Then when Hajime looked across the table he saw someone who was familiar but should not, under any circumstances, be sitting across a table from Hajime.

 

“Damnit, am I dead?”  Hajime asked.  “Did your damn tree actually kill me?”  Laughter, loud and deep, warmed up the place immediately.  Despite the wrongness of the situation, of the place Hajime felt completely at ease.

 

“What tree and why is it mine?”  Daichi asked, eyes warm and smile big like he didn’t even know he was dead.  Maybe he didn’t.  “And you’re not dead, just a little unconscious.”

 

At that Hajime felt himself slip away, felt a horrible pain in his right arm.  There was shouting around him, undecipherable beyond the pounding in his ears.  He felt cold and hot at the same time-

 

“Let’s just stay here for a while.”  Daichi was leaning across the table, hand wrapped around Hajime’s wrist.  Hajime’s right wrist which felt like his own.  That shouldn’t be possible but then again, if ghost-Daich was to be believed than this world didn’t exist.

 

“So I’m not dead?  At least not yet, but-” Hajime was about to say that Daichi was but that seemed cruel given the situation.

 

“Oh I’m dead, definitely.”  Daichi leaned back, releasing Hajime’s wrist.  “Whether I’m actually me or some sort of ghost or a figment of your pain addled brain, well that’s up for you to decide.”  Hajime had almost forgotten what a cheeky bastard Daichi could be sometimes.  He didn’t let too many people see that side of him and despite the fact that Daichi was being a cheeky bastards towards Hajime, he felt warm at knowing Daichi trusted him enough to let him see that side of him.  Or had trusted.

 

“That’s real helpful.”  Hajime snickered, though he was only half-serious.

 

“Hey I’m dead, I don’t have to be helpful if I don’t want to.”  Daichi’s foot hit Hajime’s ankle as he stretched out.  It was surprising, how real Daichi felt.  It also made Hajime’s heart ache, because he had forgotten what it was like having Daichi around.  Just knowing Daichi was there eased something inside of Hajime.  Daichi wasn’t part of Hajime’s foundation, he had grown up without the other man and had leaned on other people during times of weaknesses.  But Daichi did feel like a pillar in Hajime’s life, and without him everything had felt unsteady.

 

“But you’re going to help.”  Hajime said with certainty, which caused Daichi to laugh.  “You have a problem.”

 

“I know, I need to stop interfering in people's lives.”  Daichi’s brown eyes narrowed just slightly.  “But maybe one last time won’t hurt.  So, how can I help?”  Hajime laughed.  It wasn’t even all that funny but the months of sadness and tension had finally caught up to him because here he was, talking to a long dead friend and asking him for advice of all things.

 

“I guess first thing is about Sugawara.”  Hajime cracked his fingers, an old habit he hadn’t done in a while.  He ignored that for now to move on.  “And Oikawa.”

 

“Honestly?  I thought I fixed that before I died.”  Daichi sighed and rubbed his neck.  “What’s up with people making everything so much more difficult than it has to be?  If someone makes you happy and both of you want to be together, then be together.”

 

“Suga blames Oikawa for your death.”  Hajime said causing Daichi to raise a questioning eyebrow.  “I’m pretty sure he knows it’s not Oikawa’s fault, but he needed someone to blame.”

 

“And since I’m not around, Oikawa became an easy target.”  Daichi rested his chin on his fist, looking out the bright window.  It took Hajime a minute to realize that Daichi’s scars and tattoos were completely gone.  It was odd seeing him clearly for the first time in years.  Most field Agency members were covered in their fair share of scars, close combat fighters tended to be moreso.  Daichi had been covered in his own scars, plus he was close friends with an Ink Caster.  Ink Casters were extremely rare magic users, those who could put magic into ink.  Most put it into cards, papers, scrolls, and the like but Daichi’s friend made magical tattoos.  They were painful and expensive, and Daichi had been covered in them.

 

“Why did you do it?  There had to have been another way.”  Hajime said, gaining Daichi’s attention once more.

 

“You want an honest answer?”  Daichi asked and Hajime nodded, he always wanted the truth.  “I panicked.  I had a Death Curse on my back and I felt every single death around me.  I felt the Blighted, the old Karasuno members, the Agents that died.  I felt their death and suddenly all I could feel was death.  It felt like I had no other choice, they were just playing with us, those creatures only allowed themselves to be captured.  I looked around and all I could see was everyone I loved dead when I could have done something about it.  So I did.”  Daichi was silent for a long moment, both of them absorbing the weight of his words.

 

“I’m sorry.”  Hajime felt it was inadequate since he truly had no idea how Daichi had felt.

 

“I think you just need to be honest with Suga,” Daichi changed the subject back to what they had first been talking about and Hajime let him.  “Tell him how you truly feel.  He’s hurting but he’s not nearly as fragile as he lets people think.”  Hajime nodded slowly.  He wasn’t sure how he was going to get Koushi alone long enough to talk to him, but he would make an effort to do so.  Both for Koushi and Tooru’s sake.

 

“So, what now?”  Hajime asked with a hesitant smile.

 

“It’s probably time you wake up.”  Daichi said with a grin.

 

“But it’s only been a couple minutes, I thought you said it wasn’t a good idea?”  Even as Hajime spoke the world around him closed in, got even fuzzier around the edges until all that was clear was him and Daichi.

 

“Time moves differently here, you take care of yourself.”  Daichi laughed.  “I’ll be seeing you.”

 

Hajime opened his eyes, not realizing he had even closed them, and stared up at a light yellow ceiling.  It was a familiar ceiling, the medical unit was a soft yellow.  Shinji had forced the change from the bright white paint it had been.  Hajime appreciated the difference.

 

“Good you’re awake, just take it slowly Iwaizumi.”  A soft voice said to his right and Hajime turned his head carefully to look over at Koushi.  Koushi had on a soft cream colored knit sweater and was holding a tablet in his hands.  He looked like he had lost some weight since the last time Hajime saw him, but though there was still a lingering sadness in his eyes he was smiling still.

 

“A tree fell on me.”  Hajime grumbled, distraught all over again by the reality.

 

“Well not a whole tree, just a branch but I guess that hardly matters.”  Koushi sat down in a chair next to him.  “So you remember what happened?  I hope you don’t mind answering a couple questions.  The branch didn’t land on your head but it’s good to know if there’s any other damage we hadn’t seen.”  Hajime gave a small nod and began to answer all the simple questions Koushi had for him.

 

What was his name?  What month was it?  How many fingers was Koushi holding up?  Can you recite a simple childrens song?

 

“Matsukawa was called away by his family, though he said he’d be back right after.”  Koushi began to explain when Hajime asked where everyone was.  “Hanamaki is completing some paperwork, he’s been checking up on you every half hour so I don’t think he’s getting much work done.  To-I mean Oikawa is out on assignment.  I sent Shinji home to get some rest, though everyone has been checking up on you for the past two days since you’ve been out.  Shinji and I both agreed it was best for you to sleep off the worst of the pain so we’ve been keeping you out.”  Hajime looked back up at the ceiling when he realized it was Daichi’s sweater Koushi was wearing.  It was slightly too big for him and Hajime had been there when Hinata Shouyou had accidentally scorched the left sleeve a little.

 

“I’m sorry if this is overstepping any boundaries,” Hajime got out, his voice a little rough from disuse.  He wouldn’t waste this opportunity alone with Koushi.  “But I’m just going to say my peace and be done with it.  I think you and Oikawa would make each other happy, I know you see past all his bluster and bullshit and honestly I’ve never seen him act the way he does around you with anyone else.  But right now you’ve got him in some kind of limbo, and I know him, I know he’ll wait there forever if he thinks there’s even a chance with you but that’s not fair to him.  You and I both know what happened to- what Daichi decided to do had nothing to do with Tooru, but I know you’re hurting right now.  So if you honestly think you can’t move past this then you have to let Tooru know, he doesn’t deserve this.  But if you just need time, if you think sometime in the future things might be okay then I’ll just butt out right now.”

 

Hajime stared at Koushi, watched as the other man's clear eyes became glossy and he tried to swallow down tears.  Hajime hadn’t wanted to hurt Koushi, but his priority was Tooru.  He couldn’t let his friend continually suffer because Koushi was hurting and indecisive.  As Hajime told Tooru, Koushi was surrounded by people who loved him and cared about him, who would take care of him.  It was Hajime’s job to take care of Tooru.

 

“Okay.”  Koushi cleared his throat.  “You’re right, I’ll talk to him.”  His voice was a little raspy but he cleared his throat once more before tugging his chair a little closer.  “Now about you.  The branch dislocated your right shoulder, which was easy enough to fix but it also disconnected your bicep from the rest of your arm.  From what I was told and the x-rays we were sent over, not much was holding the two together.”  Koushi turned the tablet around, allowed Hajime to see the x-ray on the screen.  Hajime knew next to nothing about anatomy but even he could see the clear break between his actual bone and the one that was suppose to be grafted to him.

 

“That’s an old x-ray?”  Hajime asked.  The two bones were of vastly different colors, even in the x-ray, and the new-clay one looked like it was a toothpick compared to his actual bone.

 

“Yes, this one is from two weeks ago when you came back from London.”  Koushi turned the tablet back to face himself before continuing slowly.  “We had a choice to either remove the arm completely or we could try a different material to graft it to you, with the hopes that it would take better than just waiting for your skin and bone and muscle to accept or reject the prosthetic.”

 

“A different material?”  Hajime asked.  They had clearly opted for option two since he could see his right arm still attached to him.

 

“Something experimental and new, we weren’t even sure it would work.” Koushi pulled lightly on his hair as he thought things through.  It had grown out and was held back by a small band, but most of it had fallen out of it.  “It was a sort of see that we, well mostly I, gathered from the tree.  Everything about it has shown great healing properties.  A couple days ago Tanaka managed to get a third-degree burn completely over his left hand.  It should have taken months to heal correctly, even with magic there would have been several tissue damage and scarring but we used the skin of the seed and his hand has healed tremendously.  The skin grafted almost immediately to his hand, it healed and repaired the damage.  In a week or so I would guess it won’t even appear like there was any damage in the first place.”  Koushi showed Hajime two pictures side-by-side of Ryuunosuke’s hand.  One severely burned and the other looking like the burn had been healing for months.

 

“So you put that skin on my arm?”  Hajime asked.

 

“Yes.”  Koushi leaned forward and carefully pulled up the sleeve of Hajime’s white shirt.  There was a thin line going around Hajime’s bicep, pink and a little puckered but it looked good.  It looked like a healing wound but what was more amazing was that the prosthetic arm was nearly the same color and size as his bicep.  Hajime had always taken care not to look at the arm, the new one that was a vastly different shape and color from the rest of him.  HIs prosthetic arm had almost looked sickly, an off yellow color and it had been thin.  It was still thinner than his left arm, and further down the right arm it was still that off yellow color but near the wound it looked better.

 

“It’s not just the outer apperance that has changed.”  Koushi turned the tablet back to him, showing him a new x-ray.  “This one was taken earlier this morning.  It’s not a huge different from the first but considering the skin has only been on there for two days, it’s quite a difference.  We’ll have to monitor it carefully but we believe it’s helping your body accept the prosthetic.”

 

Hajime nodded but he could already feel himself slipping back under.

 

“It’s alright, we’ll talk later, get some rest Iwaizumi.”  Koushi’s soft voice lulled him right to sleep.

  
  
  
  


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Hajime squinted down at the paper in front of him, trying to read his own messy handwriting and figure out what he had meant when he had wrote it.  His work training and assessing the new Agency recruits was more rewarding than he had initially thought it would be.  Given his own record with the Agency, he was trusted and allowed to do things as he saw fit.  It meant he was allowed to give extra attention to those who might have been kicked out previously because they were falling short of Agency goals.  As someone who had struggled and worked hard their entire life he thought he had an insight on a lot of the new potential members.

 

Except sometimes Hajime’s job felt more like babysitting than anything and he had been in the middle of an important note when something had happened.  He thinks one of the girl's hair caught on fire, but there was a slight uproar when Tooru had visited briefly, another incident with a guy accidentally tossing a weight in the rafters, and really it was never ending.

 

Takeru was one of the recruits.  Tooru’s young nephew had all of his uncles skills and drive minus the horrible attitude and self doubt.  Takeru didn’t use the fact that Hajime was basically a second uncle to his advantage, which Hajime was thankful for.  Hajime would probably give anything to keep that kid happy, even if he technically wasn’t a kid anymore.

 

Fingers curled around Hajime’s shoulder, pressing down on a knot and making Hajime let out an involuntary moan of appreciation.  The papers dropped to the floor, which wasn’t far since Hajime had been sitting at the coffee table on the floor in front of the couch.  Hajime tilted his head to the side to allow Issei better access to his tense shoulders.

 

The three of them weren’t back to where they were before the whole mess of Hajime losing his arm.  Hajime didn’t think it was possible for them to go back to being those people, but he was beginning to believe maybe that was okay.  They were slowly building up their relationship.  The foundation was still there, built on years of friendship and shared trust, but they were beginning something new.

 

Takahiro had run downstairs to get the delivered takeout.  The building Takahiro and Issei lived in was a bit magical and a lot haunted.  Any delivery person around the area knew it was best to wait by the front gate for a tenant to get the food.  Most days the building was fine, but delivery people were known to go missing from time to time and all of them being Agency members would mean they would have to give up their one night they had to spend together to go searching for the poor fool.

 

“If you really want to test them, make them find the Yearning Opal.”  Hajime couldn’t see Issei’s face but he knew the other man would be grinning.  The Yearning Opal was a test the new recruits were put through years ago, back when Hajime and Tooru were new recruits.  The thing was, it didn’t exist.  There was no such thing as a Yearning Opal and they were meant to find it within a year's time.  The test was to see what everyone came back with when the year was over.  Did the recruit make something?  Did they try to pass off something else as the Yearning Opal?  Did they make an excuse?  Did they tell the truth and say that it didn’t exist?

 

Considering Hajime had horribly panicked and didn’t sleep for a solid three days then no, he wouldn’t be doing that particular test.

 

Issei’s clever fingers worked up Hajime’s neck and his eyes closed as he heard the door open and close, Takahiro’s shuffling footsteps as he walked into the living room.

 

“I leave for five minutes and you pulled out work.”  Takahiro scolded before moving Hajime’s files and papers over so he could spread out the food.  Hajime peered one eye open to make sure Takahiro wasn’t actually angry before tilting his head back into Issei’s lap to look up at the other man.

 

“Hello.”  Hajime greeted as Issei scratched his scalp lightly.

 

“You’re tense.”  Issei answered back and Hajime hoped he believed it was just from work.  Hajime spread the fingers of his right hand before tapping his thumb against each digit, a nervous tick he had picked up when he gained real feeling and movement back into the prosthetic.

 

Koushi had come through for Hajime.  The prosthetic now looked exactly like his real left arm, and it had only been a couple months since the accident with the tree.  Though Hajime didn’t believe it was an accident at all.  He didn’t really blame the tree, his father had warned him since he was young never to ask spirits for favors.  They tended to be very literal with their help and Hajime believed that’s what the tree had done.  Hajime had asked for help with Tooru and his arm and the tree had delivered, by dropping a heavy branch on his arm.

 

Tooru and Koushi had talked though, and they were taking things even slower than Hajime and his boyfriends were.  Hajime had actually gone to the warehouse with the tree in it earlier that day with Issei and Takahiro.  Tooru had asked him to go, Koushi had plans to take Kuroo Tetsurou there.  Hajime had only exchanged a handful of words with Tetsurou, though Tooru had told him the other man was a demon and had died.  Hajime wasn’t sure what happened there, but it wasn’t really his place to question it too much.

 

Tooru had then gone with Koushi to the Sawamura’s shrine in Miyagi.  Tetsurou had gone also, along with Bokuto Koutarou.  Seeing that particular Agency member had been a little mind-blowing for Hajime.  He heard a lot about Koutarou, and watching the other man go from group to group at the tree and find out as much information as he could was interesting to say the least.  He seemed to fit in wherever he went, even managing to win over Takahiro and Issei in a very short amount of time.

 

Hajime had opted to spend the night with Takahiro and Issei.  Which sometimes was harder than expected.

 

The prosthetic did work, but it also seemed to be inhumanly strong.  It also was very difficult to harm and Hajime worried about it a lot.  Especially when Takahiro had tried to hold his right hand earlier that day and Hajime had gotten the sudden memory of him easily squeezing an apple until it burst in that same hand days earlier.  He was afraid that he would harm one of them without really thinking.

 

Pulling away his hand had hurt Takahiro and Hajime was working on controlling the instinct to constantly protect both of them.  They had more than proven that they were capable  of taking care of themselves, and even had taken care of him several times.

 

Hajime sat up a little and reached over with his right hand to carefully take ahold of Takahiro’s hand.  He looked up in surprise but he quickly understood what hand Hajime was touching him and fell still.  Hajime slowly curled his fingers around Takahiro’s, pulling the other man's hand to his lips to lay a soft kiss on Takahiro’s ring finger.

 

“Shit.”  Takahiro jumped when his phone rang, pulling it out of his pocket and answering it.  He was on call with the Agency, though it should have been a quiet night.  Shigeru was on the night shift and there wasn’t much he couldn’t handle.  “Hello?”  Takahiro rolled his eyes before holding the phone out to Hajime.

 

“Crappykawa, what is it?”  Hajime asked because it was the only person who would call Takahiro to speak with Hajime.  Hajime’s phone was probably still in his bag with a dead battery.  He was forever forgetting to charge it.

 

“Sawamura Daichi is alive.”  Tooru was whispering but Hajime heard him clearly enough.

 

“What kind of shitty joke is that?”  Hajime asked, half angry.

 

“Would I joke about something like this?”  Tooru hissed back and it too Hajime half a second to realize that no, Tooru wouldn’t joke about something like that.

 

“What do you mean Sawamura is alive?”  Hajime asked, glancing over at a surprised Takahiro and Issei, both shocked into silence for probably the first time of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done! Thank you guys so much for your support and lovely comments! I really do appreciate every single one of them and they always make my day reading them!

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully it's clear that everything in Italics are from Iwaizumi's past and everything in regular font is from his present.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! If you did and are interested in more of this universe, I have written two other (complete) fics if you want to check those out.
> 
> Sawamura Daichi/Kuroo Tetsurou Story - http://archiveofourown.org/works/8437708/chapters/19330846
> 
> Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio Story - http://archiveofourown.org/works/8752699/chapters/20064886


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